Difficult Relationships - Christian Wisdom for Life’s Toughest Ties
Religion & Spirituality:Christianity
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Why is it that some Christians are able to move on from toxic relationships while others stay stuck in their hurt feelings?
Maybe you've suffered so long, you don't even know what happiness feels like anymore.
Before you go thinking that God's forgotten you (or worse, getting angry at Him), I want to break down for you three very powerful reasons why this hurt may be lingering more than you'd like,
AND the prayer that could change EVERYTHING.
To do that I need to remind you what happens when you touch a hot iron. You may cringe at the thought because you know how much it hurts. But how do you know it hurts? Well if you're as stubborn and stupid as me, it's likely because you HAVE touched one of these at some point in your life. (Despite how many times your mamma told you not to.) And once you did, the pain was excruciating. Maybe you even needed to go to the hospital. And I'm going to take a wild guess and you never did that again.
The same is true for toxic relationships. We enter into them, ignoring the red flags, and then we slide right into the sizzle.
For what godly reason would this happen? There are actually three of them.
Reason #1: God wants to make sure you learn
What do you think would happen if God just took those feelings away, erased them from your memory, wiped them from your emotional hard drive? You'd enter into a toxic relationship again, because you'd have no memory of how painful it was.
So yes, God will allow these feelings to linger to teach you. I'm not saying that what that person did to you was OK, or even excusable. But ignoring this valuable insight is like being offered a ride in a luxury SUV but choosing a piggyback ride instead.
Reason #2: You’re trying to stay in the driver’s seat
Even with these valuable lessons learned, missing what I’m about to share could cause you—as it would most Christians—to backslide during a difficult time.
If you're like me, you use your GPS for everything, even when you know exactly where to go and how to get there.
And again, if you're anything like me, if your GPS tells you to go a way that differs from where YOU think you should go, you ignore it. (I told you I wasn't smart.)
And what happens? More often then not you're stopped by a traffic jam or worse. That's because the GPS knows the roadblocks and delays you can run into.
Your hurt feelings are the roadblocks and God is your GPS.
God doesn't always remove the roadblocks because they actually serve His purpose. Just like his purpose for the Israelites in the Red Sea and the wilderness wasn't to harm them but rather draw them closer to HIM.
Could it be that God wants to be your guiding light on this journey of healing? My friend, don't miss an amazing relationship opportunity because you're upset that he's not teleporting you to your next destination.
Reason #3: God wants you for His purpose
You may be saying, “Kris, that's great. I've learned my lesson and I've made my way back to God. But what's the point in keeping me in pain for so long?”
That question can best be answered by Sam’s example. Sam was a trainer I hired when I had my old personal training business.
Sam was highly educated. She graduated at the top of her class in biomechanics and she could tell you about anything that had to do with anatomy, from the function of the hip flexors in relation to the knee upon deceleration to the distal insertion point of the femur.
There was only one problem: Sam had zero life experience. She couldn't relate to our client
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