Pinecones, this week is a little different: a joint episode! I traveled to Houston to sit down with John and Jackie Melfi—leaders in the American swinger community, owners of the legendary Colette lifestyle clubs (Houston, Dallas, Austin, San Antonio, and New Orleans), and the couple behind OpenLove101.com, where I used to blog back in the day. Between them they've got three-plus decades of experience with non-monogamous marriage, swinging, and sexual freedom, and their studio team handled the filming, so you KNOW it looks good.Full d...
Pinecones, this week is a little different: a joint episode! I traveled to Houston to sit down with John and Jackie Melfi—leaders in the American swinger community, owners of the legendary Colette lifestyle clubs (Houston, Dallas, Austin, San Antonio, and New Orleans), and the couple behind OpenLove101.com, where I used to blog back in the day. Between them they've got three-plus decades of experience with non-monogamous marriage, swinging, and sexual freedom, and their studio team handled the filming, so you KNOW it looks good.
Full disclosure: John and Jackie and I don't agree on everything—the swinger world is a lot more politically diverse than the poly/ENM crowd—and that's kind of the point. This is what it looks like to connect across differences on the things that matter: autonomy, freedom, pleasure, joy, and integrity while pursuing all of the above.
In this episode:
- Social monogamy vs. sexual monogamy—and why those "monogamous" birds are hiding a scandal in the nest
- If we were naturally monogamous, we wouldn't need so many rules
- How John went from Star Trek nerd to lifestyle club owner (via one very inspiring night in Amsterdam)
- The high school double-date that turned into a marriage… three decades later
- Jackie's journey from strict monogamy to sexual empowerment—and the daily journaling that became OpenLove101
- Comets: the long-distance lovers (and friends!) you keep for years—and John's realization that he's been collecting them all along
- Why we need to stop fetishizing romantic relationships and start honoring romantic friendships
- My marriage, my divorce-in-progress, and what happens when someone loves the idea of you more than the actual you
- The childhood shame stories John and I both carry from first grade—and how shame rewrites our memories
- The myth that you can't be sexually prolific AND wholesome
- How men can become givers in bed (step one: actually see women as people)
- The bartender who taught teenage John everything, bless her
- Why "be a safe man" is the best sex advice there is
- The spit-in-the-mouth trend, litigated at last
- The micro-flinch story: what real attunement looks like in bed
At the end of the episode, I share something personal: I lost a good friend to suicide this week. If you've been putting off a catch-up call with someone you love, make the call. And if you or someone you know is struggling, call or text 988—or email me. We take care of each other around here.
FOLLOW JOHN & JACKIE:
Website & blog: OpenLove101.com
Instagram: @openlove101
YouTube: Openlove101
The Openlove101 Show: Listen on Spotify
SUPPORT THE SHOW!
Subscribe to My Substack: samiamounts.substack.com
Venmo Samia: @Samia-Mounts
CashApp Samia: $SamiaMounts
Instagram: @samia.mounts & @happyslutcast
TikTok: @happyslutcast
YouTube: @happyslutcast
Share this episode with someone who thinks swingers and poly folks are the same people. They're in for an education.
xoxo,
Samia
Mentioned in this episode:
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