In this raw conversation recorded in New York City, I sat down with James Sexton, a leading divorce attorney and bestselling author with 25 years of frontline experience through thousands of failed marriages. What sets this episode apart is James's unflinching honesty about what actually ends relationships, not the polite narratives people tell themselves.James dismantles the prenup myth keeping couples financially vulnerable. He maps the marriage patterns where high performers consistently fail. And he reveals why understanding the full ecosystem you're marrying into matters more than the romantic connection that brought...
In this raw conversation recorded in New York City, I sat down with James Sexton, a leading divorce attorney and bestselling author with 25 years of frontline experience through thousands of failed marriages. What sets this episode apart is James's unflinching honesty about what actually ends relationships, not the polite narratives people tell themselves.
James dismantles the prenup myth keeping couples financially vulnerable. He maps the marriage patterns where high performers consistently fail. And he reveals why understanding the full ecosystem you're marrying into matters more than the romantic connection that brought you together.
This is not theoretical relationship advice. This is data from a man who has an unavoidably honest seat to what destroys marriages. From Wall Street titans to A-list celebrities to world-class surgeons, James has identified the patterns most people only recognize when it's too late.
Everyone has a prenup: the government wrote yours and can change it without your permission
The only good reason not to have one: when you're marrying for money and want maximum entitlement
High-performer marriage patterns: why two Type-A partners almost always fail
The civilian advantage: why actors married to teachers succeed where actor-actor marriages collapse
Polarity matters: why lack of balance creates endless unhealthy competition
Work as narcotic: addiction isn't just drugs—it's any behavior to avoid feeling
The musician's trap: touring schedules that breed sex and substance addiction
CEO's stimulant cycle: from Adderall to alcohol to benzos on repeat
Sex, money, power: everything is about sex except sex, which is about power
The pairing principle: learning what love is by experiencing what it isn't
Marriage as technology: a structure we built over love that gives false security
Tradition as peer pressure: wisdom from ancestors or pressure from dead people?
Red flag #1: any plan contingent on someone changing
Red flag #2: any plan contingent on someone never changing
Red flag #3: forgetting you marry the ecosystem, not just the person
The interview question: "Why are you getting married?" should never be rude
86% remarry: not insanity, but proof of how desperately we want love
Divorce as asset: viewing failed marriages as PhD programs in relationships
The wine pairing wisdom: learning what works by experiencing what's wrong
Chapters not failure: relationships are parts of your life's novel, not pass/fail tests
[15:30] – The worst time to learn to fight is when you're in a fight
[17:45] – Everyone has a prenup: the government wrote it for you
[20:12] – The only valid reason not to want a prenup
[25:15] – Enough vs not enough: the only two amounts of money
[31:20] – 50/50 custody: what men actually mean when they say it
[38:15] – Work as favorite narcotic: the addiction question
[58:15] – Sex, money, power: which one matters most?
[01:02:30] – Everything is about sex, sex is about power
[01:08:45] – What percentage of divorces involve sex? All of them.
[01:15:20] – Couple archetypes most likely to divorce
[01:23:15] – Two Type-A's: the endless competition that kills love
[01:28:40] – Marriage as structure over love: the false security
[01:36:20] – Three red flags James watches for
[01:42:10] – 86% remarry within five years: hope or insanity?
[01:48:15] – Wine pairing wisdom: learning by experiencing wrong pairings
James Sexton's website: https://nycdivorces.com
The Sexton Show on YouTube: https://sextonshow.com
Instagram: @nycdivorcelawyer
Books by James Sexton:
If You're in My Office, It's Already Too Late: A Divorce Lawyer's Guide to Staying Together
How to Stay in Love: Practical Wisdom from an Unexpected Source
📲 Connect with Me:
🌍 Website: https://charlenegisele.com
📸 Instagram: https://instagram.com/charlenegisele
💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/charlène-gisèle-bourliout/
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