Last week for the first time I had a dream about someone who was deceased... it was a dream about my mother.
It was a dream about a family tradition that we had of opening Christmas presents after Midnight Mass. Now the strange thing is that I didn't let the dream play out because I got so freaked out that I was having this dream that I woke before it ended.
Even stranger is the fact that during the last visit that I had with my mom before she went into the hospital I felt my dad's presence in the car with me on several occasions as I drove to different places throughout the city. I wonder if this is the man who came to "see" my mother the night before she died... the person who told her she was going to die.
During my dream before I woke we did in fact exchange gifts but woke before we opend them. I'm a little upset to not know what the gifts were.
In the end I don't think the gifts were important. I believe it was a way of telling me that it was OK to celebrate the season - not to get upset and caught up in the fact that she isn't here.
While I will mess her physical presence, I will miss her voice even more. I saw her sporadically over the years, mainly at Easter and Thanksgiving or Christmas but we'd talk regularly so it is the sound of her voice I'll miss the most.
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Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)
Episode 217 - The Fog of Grief
Episode 216 - Does the Grief Ever Stop Hurting So Much?
Episode 215 - Grief Platitudes Revisited... Where Have I Been
Episode 214 - Those Who've Been Forgotten In Grief
Episode 213 - A Birthday, An American President, and Grief...and Maybe Hope
Episode 212 - In Grief, Asking for Help is Still A Struggle
Episode 211 - Grief and trhe Things We Tthink That We Can't Do
Episosde 210 - A Fire, COVID, and Grief
Episode 209 - Speaking On What Caused Your Grief
Episode 208 - Speaking Grief... A Conversation With Lindsey Whissel Fenton
Episode 207 - The Continuing Education Credits of Grief
Episode 206 - In Grief, I still Struggle With Some Things
Episode 205 - Grief and the Apology Letter
Episode 204 - In Grief, Forever is Not Always Forever
Bonus: My Father's Day Appearance On The Bereavement Room Podcast
Episode 203 - We Are Not Always Together In Grief
Episode 202 - Riots, Understanding and Grief
Episode 201 - The Evolution Of Grief
Episode 200 - Even in Grief, Change Changes
Episode 199 - COVID-19 And Grief Are More Related Than I Realized
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