Life on the Swingset - The Swinging & Polyamory Podcast
Health & Fitness:Sexuality
Swingset does as Chicago does with a 3-peat dip into the mailbag! We discuss discuss shy male swingers, just starting out in the lifestyle, couples’ jealousy, frustration with people who don’t read online profiles in their entirety, and Christian swingers! As always questions are edited for time and cohesion. If you have a question for an upcoming mailbag show, please leave us a voicemail at 573-557-9464.
Warning: Dylan tells TWO stories, and neither are particularly sexy but both are fairly gripping!
Question 1:
I'm hoping for some words of wisdom for a guy in the lifestyle who struggles to be appropriately assertive. While single I was one of those guys who needed flares, sirens, and flashing lights to know a woman was interested in me, and even then I was often hesitant. I'm now happily coupled and in the lifestyle, but no better at hitting on women or initiating any touching.
Part of my hang-up is the nausea induced by certain sleazy guys who "accidentally" rub against people in crowds or greet everyone with a grope. But a balance between assault and friendly passivity can't be that hard to find, right? This has created some tension with my better half, because she feels as if she has to do more of the work when we're in sexy circumstances, and it makes it harder for me to enjoy lifestyle events.
Question 2:
My wife and I have a wonderful marriage, awesome communication and an even better sex life. We're entertaining a soft swap, FMF interaction. We want to make an informed decision together before fully trying swinging. What can you suggest tips, advice, information wise? And what's the next step if we wanted to go through with it?
Dylan Thomas’ note:
By the way, our wonderful “Swinging for Beginners” series has quite a bit of content that can help! Visit lifeontheswingset.com/category/swinging-for-beginners for nine episodes where we focus entirely on the “new to the lifestyle” experience!
Question 3:
We were doing a lot of lifestyle events and really never met anyone that tripped both of our triggers until we met this one couple. We became very close, sharing each other and attending sexy events but staying faithful to each other as couples until recently. They attended an event and hooked up with a group of people, didn't invite us and now we are struggling with the relationship. Sort of had our hearts broken. We never had any kind of agreement to stay with each other so we can't fault them. Wondering if you have any advice?
Question 4:
We're busy and don't play with other couples (we prefer threesomes and orgies). That doesn't mean we don't want to meet sexy new friends, just that we'd rather do it in larger settings. We also get a fair amount of attention on the swinger dating sites -- almost always from couples who want to meet up. (Our profile is clear that we don't play with couples, but it's obvious that some people only look at pictures.) Responding with something like, "we're not available to meet, but we'll be at a meet and greet so please come and say hello!" has always been met with silence. Are we doing something wrong? Is there a better way to say what we're looking for?
Question 5:
We are Christians and go to church on Sunday. Are there a lot of Christian swingers? I'm afraid it will feel a little weird going to a club and having some fun then going to church a few days later.
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SS 399: We Go Meta on Swinging and Making the Sausage... and talk Sex Toys - from Friday Night Delights from February 5th, 2021
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SS 397: ...and at least one amorous bird on this resort. - Swingset Takes Desire 2022, Part 2
SS 396: ...what sets us apart, brings us together. - Swingset Takes Desire 2022, Part 1
SS 395: The Trouble with Tribbing, a Sexy Story Share
SS 394: Camp Swingset Live! - At the Half-Baked Homestead
SS 393: Swingset Takes Desire 2021 LIVE in Cancún!
SS 392: Personal Stories on Changing Intimacy Over the Last Two Years - A Friday Night Delights Conversation with Catherine
SS 391: The Desire Mid-Week Check-In, featuring Co-Hosts Mike Joseph and Keeley!
SS 390: "Things can be messy, but things don't have to be toxic."
SS 389: Nerdy Banter with Simone and Malcolm – The Pragmatist’s Guide to Sexuality
SS 388: The Power of Witness in Relationship Therapy with Catherine
SS 387: Euretic Consent with Shawn Coleman and Kevin Patterson
SS 386: Thank You Betty Dodson – On Bodysex and More – Friday Night Delights – 2020-08-14 (Part 2)
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