Finding My Birth Mother, Then Finding a Full Sibling for My Kids

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What happens after the truth comes out, when the search begins and there is no DNA test, no internet, and no clear roadmap?

In part two of this two-part episode, we continue our conversation with Marylee MacDonald as she takes us into the long, painstaking search for her birth family. This was a time before commercial DNA testing, when finding answers meant microfilm machines, legal notices buried in newspapers, and carefully rehearsed phone calls that could change your life in an instant.

Marylee shares how she searched for her birth mother after her adoptive mother’s death, navigating guilt, fear, and hope all at once. When she finally makes contact, she experiences something many adoptees describe but rarely get to feel. Mirrors. Voices that sound like hers. Siblings who feel instantly familiar.

But reunion is not a fairy tale.

Marylee opens up about being kept secret, introduced as a “family friend,” and hearing words no one ever wants to hear from a parent. She reflects on the complicated emotional terrain of reunion, where love, shame, pride, and distance can all exist at the same time.

And then comes another layer. Marylee also shares the story of finding the son she was forced to surrender as a teenager. What followed was not instant closeness, but something deeper. Time. Effort. Shared history. And eventually, a family that chose to make room for one another.

This episode lands during the holidays, and without planning it, Marylee leaves us with a powerful reminder of what connection can look like when the work is done. A full house. A crowded kitchen. Decades of memories made after years of separation.

What We Talk About in Part Two

Searching for birth family before DNA testing
 Using microfilm and legal notices to find answers
 Making the first phone call to a birth parent
 Meeting siblings and finally seeing mirrors
 The pain of being kept secret after reunion
 Why reunion does not erase grief or shame
 Finding a son surrendered in a closed adoption
 Building real family history over time
 What the holidays can look like after reunion

About Our Guest

Marylee MacDonald is an adoptee and author whose work explores adoption, identity, secrecy, motherhood, and reunion. Her writing reflects both the emotional cost of closed-era adoption and the long process of building real family connection after decades of separation.

Website

Book: Surrender: A Memoir of Nature, Nurture, and Love

Content Note: This episode includes discussion of adoption secrecy, family rejection, grief, and emotional distress. Please listen with care.

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If this episode resonates with you, share it with someone who understands how family secrets shape identity. If you have a story of adoption, late discovery, or a family truth that surfaced years later, we would love to hear from you.

Family secrets are the ultimate plot twist.