Ask Jay: How Do I Let Go?

In the very first episode of Ask Jay, a new series where listeners send in voice notes with their biggest questions, Jay explores what it really means to let go when your heart is still holding on. Through four deeply personal stories, he unpacks the difference between love and trauma bonds, the pull of breadcrumbing and relationship amnesia, the anxious-avoidant cycle, and what it takes to rebuild trust after betrayal. Along the way, Jay shares practical tools to help you choose yourself, rebuild self-trust, accept silence as an answer, and recognize when healing needs to come before making a decision about a relationship.

With Love and Gratitude,

Jay Shetty

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What We Discuss:

00:00 Introduction

01:23 Are You Holding On To A One-Sided Relationship?

03:40 The Law of Reciprocation

06:23 Breadcrumbing And Listening to Your Body

07:34 Trauma Bonds And Relationship Amnesia

09:16 Letting Go Of The “Good Girl” Persona

11:04 Is It Love or A Trauma Bond?

16:07 Why Toxic Relationships Feel So Hard to Leave

16:41 Rebuilding Self-Trust After Abuse

19:11 The Love As Action Test

20:12 Why Avoidant Partners Leave

21:52 What An Avoidant Partner May Be Thinking

23:32 Stop Trying To Read Their Mind

25:38 Redirecting Hope Back Toward Yourself

29:21 Can Trust Be Rebuilt After Betrayal?

31:00 What Was the Purpose Of The Break?

32:58 Should You Give Second Chances?

33:39 Healing Before Making A Relationship Decision

34:36 Building A “Second Marriage” With The Same Person

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