• Your ex has said they will not discuss money until parenting is agreed
• You are not sure whether to sort property or parenting first, or both together
• You are separated under one roof and nothing is moving
• You have been handed an offer with a 24-hour deadline and it feels like pressure
• Your ex has suddenly started pushing hard for 50/50 after showing little interest
• You are heading into mediation and want to know what to do if they ambush you
⚠️ Disclaimer & SupportGeneral information only, not legal advice. Australian family law. Always get advice about your own situation.
This episode discusses coercive control and financial abuse. In danger, call 000. Support: 1800 RESPECT 1800 737 732. Lifeline 13 11 14.
Episode Summary"I am not discussing property until parenting is sorted." It sounds like a rule. It is not.
Mum and I unpack whether the order matters, where property and parenting really overlap, the time limits you cannot miss, and the eight stalling tactics we are seeing right now – the hostage swap, the circle walk, the 50/50 care play, the disclosure drip, the attrition strategy, the mediation ambush, the generosity trap and weaponised urgency. Plus the interim property distribution most self-represented people have never heard of.
⏱️ Episode Timeline00:00 – Property or Parenting First? Why Your Ex Wants to Control the Order
02:00 – Where Property and Parenting Actually Collide
04:00 – Why Some Exes Insist on Parenting First
06:00 – When Stalling Becomes Coercive Control and Economic Abuse
07:00 – Property Time Limits: De Facto vs Married Explained
09:00 – Can You Run Property and Parenting Together? Yes
11:00 – Mediation, 60I Certificates and Doing Both at Once
12:00 – Is There Any Good Reason to Keep Them Separate?
15:00 – "Who Died and Made Them Boss?" Taking Back Control
17:00 – Dirty Trick 1: The Hostage Swap
18:00 – The Line That Shuts It Down: "That's Not the Law"
20:00 – The Power Imbalance Test You Can Do Today
22:00 – Dirty Trick 2: The Circle Walk
23:00 – Interim Property Distribution: The Real Circuit Breaker
26:00 – Dirty Trick 3: The 50/50 Care Play
29:00 – Dirty Trick 4: The Disclosure Drip and Section 71B
31:00 – Dirty Trick 5: The Attrition Strategy and Wearing You Down
34:00 – Dirty Trick 6: The Mediation Ambush
36:00 – Filing in Court: Why the Registrar Changes Everything
38:00 – Dirty Trick 7: The Generosity Trap
40:00 – Dirty Trick 8: Weaponised Urgency and Fake Deadlines
42:00 – Sequencing by Personality Type: Which Order Suits Which Ex
44:00 – Rapid Fire: Your Biggest Property and Parenting Questions
47:00 – Rapid Fire for People Already in Court
50:00 – The Double-Sided Cushion: Your Two Sticky Notes
🎧 Episodes MentionedEpisode 213 – The Hidden Connection: Custody Battles & Property Splits in Divorce
https://podcasts.apple.com/ph/podcast/the-hidden-connection-custody-battles-property-splits/id1503451022?i=1000728151220
Episode 191 – What Your Lawyer Might Forget to Tell You: Unlocking Funds Before Property Settlement Is Final
https://podcasts.apple.com/ph/podcast/what-your-lawyer-might-forget-to-tell-you-unlocking/id1503451022?i=1000702792838
Episode 218 – Business Tricks in Divorce: 10 Sneaky Tactics to Watch Out For and Outsmart
https://podcasts.apple.com/ph/podcast/business-tricks-in-divorce-10-sneaky-tactics-to-watch/id1503451022?i=1000733969897
Links & Resources🌐 www.thedivorcecourse.com.au | 🎓 www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/blog
Family Law Act 1975 – s 60CC, s 71B, s 79 | Federal Circuit and Family Court – www.fcfcoa.gov.au
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All our best,
Laura & Lyn
Your Guides By Your Side
Co-Hosts of THE DIVORCE COURSE PODCAST