Inside musician John Grant’s pain: Seven songs that saved his life

John Grant’s music is known for its brutal honesty – songs about desire, rage, and shame. But the story behind that voice is even more extraordinary.

Raised in a religious household where being gay meant losing your family and being rejected by society, John grew up believing he deserved the violence and hostility he faced.And yet, what stands out most when John tells his story is not the pain but the persistence – his ability to keep showing up, to find joy in small moments, and to let music crack open something hopeful inside him.

In this episode, John shares the seven songs that shaped his life, the artists who showed him new worlds, and the acts of kindness that helped him survive. He reflects on healing from self-hatred and why, despite everything, he still considers himself an optimist. Here are his songs.

1. Abba, “Eagle”
2. Yello, “Sometimes (Dr. Hirsh)”
3. Nina Hagen, “Antiworld”
4. Throwing Muses, “Dirty Water”
5. Colder, “To The Music”
6. Jenny and Johnny, “Animal”
7. Asha Puthli, “Space Talk”