Melania Flop, Epstein Drop & Marina vs Reform

January nearly finished us off, and February hasn’t exactly come in with flowers. Marina is abandoned in the news‑cycle trenches while Jemma wafts around on a boat, and together they pick through the week’s mess: Marina’s run‑in with Reform, her viral roasting of Dame Andrea Jenkyns, the spectacular failure of the Melania documentary, Bezos’ suspiciously sculpted torso, and the grim, sprawling, still‑redacted Epstein file dump. There are tributes, tangents, tech meltdowns, and an unholy amount of swearing at wires. Chaotic, cathartic, and unmistakably The Trawl.

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