EP 523: Stop Trying to Change Your Parents with Sarah

Moving back in with family can awaken old wounds faster than years of personal growth can prepare us for. In this first coaching episode of 2026, Christine supports Sarah, who recently returned to the United States after six years abroad and is temporarily living with her parents. What she expected to be a short transition has turned into a deep emotional reckoning with childhood patterns, triggers, and the urge to "fix" family dynamics.

Christine helps Sarah understand how protector parts, formed in childhood, take over when old environments reactivate unresolved trauma. Together, they explore how to release long-held anger safely, set boundaries that are actually enforceable, and begin reparenting the inner child with compassion rather than control.

If family interactions leave you feeling dysregulated, angry, or guilty, this episode will help you see those reactions through a new lens and give you tools to stop trying to change your parents and start changing how you care for yourself.

 

Consider / Ask Yourself:

• Do you feel like all your growth disappears the moment you go home?
• Are you the family fixer, peacekeeper, or emotional mediator?
• Do you struggle with guilt or rage after spending time with your parents?
• Are you trying to set "boundaries" that you cannot actually control?

 

Key Insights and A-HAs:

• The urge to fix family dynamics often comes from a childhood protector part trying to create safety.
• What feels like "I can't help it" is usually a trauma-based habit, not a true lack of choice.
• Asking someone to change is a request, not a boundary. Boundaries are about what you will do.
• Rage is often stored grief from unmet childhood needs and must be safely released.
• Your inner child learns to trust you only through consistency, not intention.

 

How to Deepen the Work:

• When you feel the impulse to fix, pause and thank that part for trying to protect you.
• Create a release valve for anger such as screaming into a pillow, shaking your body, or release writing.
• Practice leaving triggering situations instead of confronting them in the moment.
• Reparent your inner child through consistent safety rather than promises of change.
• Ask yourself: "What can I do right now that I actually control?"

 

Coaching with Christine

Christine currently has just two remaining openings in her private one-on-one coaching practice. She has been coaching individuals since 2004 and only works with a small number of clients at a time to provide deep, personalized support.

If you feel called to work with Christine, email jill@christinehassler.com to inquire.

 

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