Can Kids Decide Where They Live After Separation? How Children’s Wishes Actually Count in Family Law

🎧 Listen If…

• Your child has said they don't want to go to the other parent's house

• Your ex keeps saying "once they turn [a certain age] they can choose"

• You're worried your child is being pressured, coached, or caught in the middle

• You're hearing two completely different stories from your kids at handover

• You're amicable and thinking of just "letting the kids decide" (please listen first)

• You want to understand how children's views actually reach the court

General information only not legal advice. Always consult a qualified family lawyer about your situation.🛟 Discusses family violence & coercive control. In danger: 000. Support: 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732), Lifeline 13 11 14.

About This Episode

Mum and I unpack what the Family Law Act actually how children's views really reach a judge (family reports, child impact reports, ICLs), and how kids' wishes play out across the four divorce personality types. 

⏱️ Timeline

00:00 Can a Child Choose Which Parent to Live With? 

02:00 Why the Family Court Won't Ask Kids to Choose 

06:27 The Best Interests of the Child Test (Section 60CC) 

09:06 What Age Can a Child Decide Where to Live?

11:34 How a Child's Wishes Are Actually Heard in Family Law 

13:25 Child-Inclusive Mediation Explained 

15:22 Therapy, Family Reports & Expert Evidence 

19:48 How to Get a Family Report Outside of Court 

22:35 How Family Violence Changes Parenting Decisions 

27:22 2024 Family Law Reforms & Common Custody Myths 

28:29 Can You Force a Teenager to Follow Parenting Orders? 

31:58 The Reality of Enforcing Orders With Teens 

33:03 How to Future-Proof Your Parenting Orders 

34:03 Why Older Teens Have More Say in Where They Live 

34:35 The Manipulative & Controlling Ex: Hidden Motives 

36:42 How to Spot Coercion & Coaching Tactics 

39:04 Love Bombing, Bribery & When the Mask Slips 

41:54 High-Conflict Exes: Kids Caught in the Middle 

45:20 The Avoidant Parent & Parentification 

49:02 Amicable Co-Parents: Why You Still Shouldn't Let Kids Decide 

51:07 Key Takeaways: Voice Heard, Not Decision Made 

54:43 Closing Notes & Legal Disclaimer

🎧 Episodes Mentioned

• Decoding the Child's Best Interests Referenced when discussing the full 60CC best-interests factors https://youtu.be/k4-QTbfW8XM?si=4ltIq0y0ceoMQWym

• Child-Inclusive Mediation Referenced when discussing how children's views are gathered out of court. https://youtu.be/HrEU6dFc0Ko?si=xvSAyfnMJ9oEfXnN

• Handover Hell – When Your Child Refuses to Go Referenced at the end for listeners dealing with handover-day resistance https://youtu.be/YphzOPZmC3k?si=Wf1RwzJMf-ix4N4K

Support & Resources

📞 1800 RESPECT 1800 737 732  |  Lifeline 13 11 14  |  Police 000

The Divorce Course → https://www.thedivorcecourse.com.au

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All our best, Laura & Lyn – Your Guides By Your Side