“I don’t think of all the misery, but of all the beauty that remains.”
–Anne Frank
This week marks the one year anniversary of my mothers death and as I have tried to figure out what I'm going to do on October 2 I am reminded of a question that comes up often in grief forums I belong to:
How do you mark the time since your loved one's passing?
For me, I don't... I can't - not if making the time means counting the days or the months since the day of their passing. That to me means that I have to actively think about and look forward to the next day or month and that never gives me time to move forward in my process. It makes me feel like I'k stuck in quicksand and the harder I fight to move forward, the more I get sucked in. I try to live life and just let the moments of grief happen, and deal with them as they come.
I will concede l, however, that I do remember the yearly anniversary of their death. That to me is like an internal clock that is a reminder leading up to the events of their death. A reminder that I've been able to deal with and hopefully grow just a little from the experience of having lost them.
I let grief come naturally with and try to process my emotions and just let the moment pass and do wht I think is appropriate. That could be a good cry or talking to others. Buty I can't intentionally go through the daily/monthly reminder of its been this many days or that many months.
My interview with mom: Episode 95
My reaction to mom’s passing: Episode 129
Do you mark time after someone passes? If so, how?
Announcement: I have a new podcast coming out with the hosts of the Grief Dreams podcast call Grief Cafe where we will discuss grief related topics.
You can find it here:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/grief-cafe/id1479286093
Subscribe to this podcast by using one of the following:
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email - darwyn@dealingwithmygrief.com
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voice/message - (240) 778-5200
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Episode 217 - The Fog of Grief
Episode 216 - Does the Grief Ever Stop Hurting So Much?
Episode 215 - Grief Platitudes Revisited... Where Have I Been
Episode 214 - Those Who've Been Forgotten In Grief
Episode 213 - A Birthday, An American President, and Grief...and Maybe Hope
Episode 212 - In Grief, Asking for Help is Still A Struggle
Episode 211 - Grief and trhe Things We Tthink That We Can't Do
Episosde 210 - A Fire, COVID, and Grief
Episode 209 - Speaking On What Caused Your Grief
Episode 208 - Speaking Grief... A Conversation With Lindsey Whissel Fenton
Episode 207 - The Continuing Education Credits of Grief
Episode 206 - In Grief, I still Struggle With Some Things
Episode 205 - Grief and the Apology Letter
Episode 204 - In Grief, Forever is Not Always Forever
Bonus: My Father's Day Appearance On The Bereavement Room Podcast
Episode 203 - We Are Not Always Together In Grief
Episode 202 - Riots, Understanding and Grief
Episode 201 - The Evolution Of Grief
Episode 200 - Even in Grief, Change Changes
Episode 199 - COVID-19 And Grief Are More Related Than I Realized
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