NOW ENROLLING!
Check out my new pleasure course which is enrolling now through April 22, 2019 (we'll enroll again in June!). It's called Power in Pleasure: Reconnecting with Your Hunger, Desire, and Joy and runs for five weeks online. I'd love to see you there.On with the show!
First up, Graeme Seabrook's latest blog post popped up in my feed a few times this week and caught my eye. It's titled, "Stop Grading Your Husband On A Curve" and spoke so deeply to so many of the questions I receive and the coaching that I do. Check it out, for sure.
What would it look like to have everyone in a relationship show up and take 100% responsibility for the household, the chores, the management of scheduled? What would it mean if the women and femmes of the world weren't the ones who managed grocery shopping, meal prep, appointment setting, friend dates, and everything else that contributes to overwhelm and burnout? It's a big question that will require a lot of changes for many of us if we truly want equitable partnerships.
That article paired perfectly with an older article that a marriage therapist I adore re-shared this week called, "9 Habits Of People In the Healthiest Relationships" and I want more of us to have more humor, transparency, positive regard, and connection in our lives, so let's chew on these a little and see what might need attention in our lives.
If 69% of our disagreements in relationship are unresolvable, how do we continue to turn towards each other with humor and generosity, knowing that's true? How do we make time for each other, without distraction, when life gets busy? These are the kinds of questions I want more of us to sit in and grapple with. It would ease so much relationship distress for us all if we did.
I'm also fielding two listener questions this week.
First up, DNA has been with his wife for 17 years. They have an 11-year-old son. They recently decided to get divorced, but because they live in a really expensive area, they've decided to co-habitate as they co-parent. But DNA is having trouble moving on. He feels resentful that he's trapped, he can't deepen his relationship with the new person he's dating, and their families don't even know about the divorce because they're trying to protect their son. What can he do?
Finally, Alice Joy wrote in because their partner is really dominant. So dominant, that they won't allow Alice Joy to touch them or to really receive pleasure. AJ isn't sure if it's because their partner doesn't want it or if it's because they aren't sure what they want, but it's impact AJ's confidence because what if it's them and how they do things? What can AJ do?
This week on Patreon for folks who support at $3 per month and above, we're talking about sexual rituals and I'm answering a question from fellow Patreon supporter Just Fat about not being able to trust that her partner really wants her since she's in a fat body. Your support matters SOO much. If you support at $3 per month and above, you get weekly bonus content that doesn't exist anywhere else. Head to patreon.com/sgrpodcast and support the show or to tune into your bonus content.
Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook and Dawn is on Instagram. About Host Dawn Serra:What if everything you’ve been taught about relationships, about your body, about sex is wrong? My name is Dawn Serra and I dare to ask scary questions that might lead us all towards a deeper, more connected experience of our lives.
In addition to being the host of the weekly podcast, Sex Gets Real, the creator of the online conference Explore More, I also work one-on-one with clients who are feeling stuck, confused, or disappointed with the ways they experience desire, love, and confidence.
It’s not all work, though. In my spare time, you can find me adventuring with my husband, cuddling my cats as I read a YA novel, or obsessing over MasterChef Australia.
Contact form: Click here (and it's anonymous)
301: Sex and depression with JoEllen Notte
300: Jaclyn Friedman on believing women
299: Leonore Tjia on highly sensitive people, why mental health models are anti-erotic.
298: Discharge, FGM scars, cheating during Alzheimers, & teaching kids pleasure with food
297: Christy Harrison on eating for pleasure, desirability, and being anti-diet, Part 2
296: Christy Harrison on pleasure, happiness, and being anti-diet, Part 1
295: Can we change our sexual preferences? Plus, a lesbian who wants to try sex with men.
294: Making erotic films with Inka Winter
293: Sexual attraction, gay for getting blowjobs, & cheating with a sex worker
292: Sexual assault, oral sex, and regret after a threesome
291: STIs, masturbation buddies, shame and fat bodies
290: Wheelchair sex and being scared of sex
289: When the sex stops after you move in together & non-binary pregnancy
288: Squirting and incontinence, men who don't like sex, & large breasts
287: Darcey Steinke on menopause, changing bodies, & a new way forward
286: Exploring bisexuality, life after rape, Hashimoto's & dating
285: Kai Cheng Thom on consent, healing, & pleasure
284: Learning to be vulnerable, is cheating bad, and big penises
283: Healthy relationship behaviors (green flags), community accountability
Sex Gets Real 282: Squirting, fat-friendly therapist, & when a marriage falls apart
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