MAKING FRIENDS: What is Modern Friendship + How To Make (and Keep) Real Friends with Anna Goldfarb (Best Of)

2025-10-29

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How do you make friends as an adult — REAL-DEAL friends — and how do you nurture these valued connections? Today's guest is journalist, MODERN FRIENDSHIP author, and friendship researcher Anna Goldfarb, who has been called the "New York Times Friendship Correspondent." She's here with us to dig into the nuances of the #1 most-asked question throughout all of WANT's 10+ year history: how do I find my people? IN THIS EPISODE WE TALK ABOUT... The main reasons why friendships naturally shift after 30 (why that's more normal than you think, and what you can do to address it) Active vs memorial friendships, and how mixing them causes heartache ...

How do you make friends as an adult — REAL-DEAL friends — and how do you nurture these valued connections?

Today's guest is journalist, MODERN FRIENDSHIP author, and friendship researcher Anna Goldfarb, who has been called the "New York Times Friendship Correspondent." She's here with us to dig into the nuances of the #1 most-asked question throughout all of WANT's 10+ year history: how do I find my people?

IN THIS EPISODE WE TALK ABOUT...

The main reasons why friendships naturally shift after 30 (why that's more normal than you think, and what you can do to address it)
Active vs memorial friendships, and how mixing them causes heartache
How to categorize friends in a way that doesn't feel icky and actually HELPS you nurture friendships sans guilt or obligation
Using Choice Theory to understand what keeps a friendship thriving
How to nix the uncertainty in friendships that can cause animosity, guilt, or rifts
Navigating common friendship challenges: long-distance friendships, introversion vs extroversion, and value differences without defaulting to a "friendship breakup"
and SO MUCH MORE!

ABOUT ANNA:

Anna Goldfarb is a friendship journalist who has reported for outlets including the New York Times, the Atlantic, Time magazine, Vice, The Cut, Vox, and the Washington Post. Called "the New York Times friendship correspondent" by Tim Herrera, the editor of the New York Times Smarter Living section, she's written hundreds of articles that explore the nuances of friendships, relationships, and pop psychology. She lives in Philadelphia. Her first book, MODERN FRIENDSHIP: How to Nurture Our Most Valued Connections, is out today and available wherever books are sold.

SHOW NOTES:

Modern Friendship

Anna's website

Anna on IG

Anna's Substack

Anna in the NYT

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