What to Say When Someone You Love Is Dying: The Good Goodbye with Dr. Maureen Keeley

What do you say when someone you love is dying—and you know your time together is limited? In this practical and compassionate episode, Judy Oskam talks with Dr. Maureen Keeley, a leading researcher on end-of-life communication, from Texas State University.  

Dr. Maureen Keeley offers a research-based framework for anyone caring for an aging parent, supporting a loved one through illness, or anticipating loss.  Listeners will learn what matters most in end-of-life conversations and how small, everyday moments can become the memories that last a lifetime.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode

• How to rethink “final conversations” so you don’t wait until it’s too late
• Why there is no perfect goodbye
• How everyday routines can provide comfort, meaning, and connection at the end of life
• How these conversations help you, not just the person who is dying

 The Six Themes of Final Conversations (Research-Based)

1. Love messages – expressing love, reassurance, affection, and presence
2. Identity messages – affirming strengths, values, and who someone has been in your life
3. Spiritual or religious messages – faith, meaning, beliefs about death or the afterlife
4. Everyday talk – routine conversations, humor, shared activities, normal life
5. Healing difficult relationships – addressing unresolved tension, softening anger, finding peace
6. Taking care of the business of death and dying – wishes, living wills, memorial plans, passwords, and practical guidance

Dr. Maureen Keeley is a Professor of Interpersonal Communication at Texas State University.  She has studied end-of-life communication for more than two decades.  

You can find Dr. Keeley and Dr. Yingling's book below: 

The Good Goodbye:  The Transformative Power of Conversation at the End of Life by Maureen P. Kelley, Ph.D. and Julie M. Yingling, Ph.D. 

This episode was recorded at Live Oak Studios on the campus of Texas State University.

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