Once again I have been plagued by the concept of time.
When I was 10 I began marking time since my father passed and in reflecting back on his death and having begun the process of processing my mother's loss, I realize that I won't do the same with her loss.
When dad died I didn't know what I didn't know about loss: I would have a child that would never know him, or that I would have certain experiences that I would not be able to share or get advice from him. Each year that passed simply marked another year that I was able to "grow" without him.
My mother's death was different.. I had her for 51 years. She taught me and gave me everything she could... really everything I needed. The only thing that we really had left was, well, time.
Time the spend together and do our favorite things, just to make more memories.
I think about time now and I have listened to Hootie and the Blowfish song 'Time'. I had never really given the lyrics much thought until my mother passed.
Here is a link to the song: Time - Hootie and the Blowfish
Song lyric:
Time why you punish me?
Like a wave bashing into the shore
You wash away my dreams
Time why you walk away?
Like a friend with somewhere to go
You left me crying
Can you teach me 'bout tomorrow?
And all the pain and sorrow running free?
'Cause tomorrow's just another day
And I don't believe in time
Time I don't understand
Children killing in the street
Dying for the color of red
Time hey, there red and blue
Wash them in the ocean, make them clean
Maybe their mother won't cry tonight
Can you teach me about tomorrow
And all the pain and sorrow running free?
But tomorrow's just another day
And I don't believe in
Time is wasting time is walking
You ain't no friend of mine, I don't know where I'm goin'
I think I'm out of my mind, thinking about time
And if I die tomorrow, just lay me down in sleep
Time is wasting time is walking
You ain't no friend of mine
I don't know where I'm goin'
I think I'm out of my mind, thinking about time
Time you left me standing there
Like a tree growing all alone
The wind just stripped me bare, stripped me bare
Time the past has come and gone
The future's far away
And now only lasts for one second, one second
Can you teach me 'bout tomorrow
And all the pain and sorrow, running free?
'Cause tomorrow's just another day
And I don't believe in time
You ain't no friend of mine
I don't know where I'm goin'
I think I'm out of my mind
Walking, wasting
You ain't no friend of mine
And I don't know where I'm goin'
No don't know
[Incomprehensible] is just
Wasting, wasting, wasting time
Time why you punish me?
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Music provided by Oren Levine (oren@ohljazz.com)
Episode 217 - The Fog of Grief
Episode 216 - Does the Grief Ever Stop Hurting So Much?
Episode 215 - Grief Platitudes Revisited... Where Have I Been
Episode 214 - Those Who've Been Forgotten In Grief
Episode 213 - A Birthday, An American President, and Grief...and Maybe Hope
Episode 212 - In Grief, Asking for Help is Still A Struggle
Episode 211 - Grief and trhe Things We Tthink That We Can't Do
Episosde 210 - A Fire, COVID, and Grief
Episode 209 - Speaking On What Caused Your Grief
Episode 208 - Speaking Grief... A Conversation With Lindsey Whissel Fenton
Episode 207 - The Continuing Education Credits of Grief
Episode 206 - In Grief, I still Struggle With Some Things
Episode 205 - Grief and the Apology Letter
Episode 204 - In Grief, Forever is Not Always Forever
Bonus: My Father's Day Appearance On The Bereavement Room Podcast
Episode 203 - We Are Not Always Together In Grief
Episode 202 - Riots, Understanding and Grief
Episode 201 - The Evolution Of Grief
Episode 200 - Even in Grief, Change Changes
Episode 199 - COVID-19 And Grief Are More Related Than I Realized
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