20. Codependency, Autism, and Narcissists: Understanding Codependent Behaviors and Traits That Lead to Narcissistic Abuse - Emotional Detachment as a Tactical Advantage for Family Court, Season 2

Let's begin a deep dive into codependency — what it actually is, in preparation for why autistic women are particularly vulnerable to it next week - and why emotional detachment is essential not only for healing, but for protecting our children and showing up as the stable, credible parent in family court.

One of the hardest truths I had to learn is that legal advice doesn’t land when emotions are running high. As long as survivors show up dysregulated — in emails, texts, reports, or in court — they continue to generate material that can be used against them, even when their concerns are valid.

Emotional detachment does not mean we stop caring, what it does is it removes the reactivity that you shoot yourself in the foot with, time and time again.

DETACH, BABY, DETACH!!!

Welcome back to Season 2 of Light in the Battle — a podcast for autistic women healing from narcissistic abuse, where we get clearer, calmer, and spiritually and legally harder to mess with.

So in Season 2, I’m taking you step by step through the journey I personally had to walk to detach completely — without detaching from my child’s wellbeing — and to finally be able to show patterns of behavior, in a way family court cannot ignore.

So far this season, we’ve covered:

• Trauma bonding (Episode 15 & Episode 16)

• PTSD / CPTSD and EMDR (Episodes 17 & Episode 18)

• Forgiveness — and why it does not mean reconciliation (Episode 19)

  
  

Now it’s time to talk about codependency.

• A clear definition of codependency and common traits

• Why codependent traits often emerge in dysfunctional or high-conflict family systems

• How codependency can develop in autistic women, especially those raised in unstable environments

• Why forgiveness alone doesn’t break emotional entanglement

• The concept of self-verification — and how the autistic brain’s need for predictability can keep codependent dynamics in place

• How codependency and narcissistic dynamics reinforce each other without blaming survivors of domestic violence

• Why emotional detachment is key to parallel parenting and raising a non-codependent child

This episode draws in part from:

• Codependent No More, written by Melody Beattie

• An Interview Of Melody Beattie

• Research on self-verification (SimplyPsychology.org and publicly available resources on Google)

This is Part 1 of the codependency arc. Part 2 in Episode 21 will link ASD to Codependency closely, andthen in Episode 22 we'll suggest ways to walk the journey of codependency recovery.

In upcoming episodes, we’ll move into gratitude, fellowship & mentorship, surrender, and grief — all essential stages on the path to emotional detachment and freedom.

👉 Please follow the show and leave a 5-star review if this season resonates. It helps this content reach other women who need it.

Disclaimer: I am not a medical, legal, or mental health professional. This podcast is based on lived experience. Please consult qualified professionals to determine what is appropriate for your situation.

Stay with me through this season. It will get uncomfortable for sure. That's the whole point, I'm trying to help you get out of your own way so you can better hear what your lawyer is saying.

I’m taking you on a journey. Follow the show so you can get all the episodes of Season 2.