Teen Breakup Violence, Part 2

2021-02-10

Download

Content Warning: Today’s episode is the second in a two-part series on teen relationship violence. It may be difficult for some of our listeners. When we look underneath a young person’s anger, or shame, or grief, there is often a hidden need that’s not being met. Learning how to identify and address these hidden needs is a skill we can all build over time. And doing this is a critical part of fostering healthier relationships and preventing tremendous pain to ourselves and to others. Last week on our podcast, we began...

Content Warning: Today’s episode is the second in a two-part series on teen relationship violence. It may be difficult for some of our listeners.

When we look underneath a young person’s anger, or shame, or grief, there is often a hidden need that’s not being met. Learning how to identify and address these hidden needs is a skill we can all build over time. And doing this is a critical part of fostering healthier relationships and preventing tremendous pain to ourselves and to others.

Last week on our podcast, we began a difficult, but important conversation about teen breakup violence through the lens of Lauren Dunne Astley’s story, an 18-year-old young woman who died at the hands of her former boyfriend. This week, Gene and Khadijah welcome a very special guest to continue the conversation – Malcolm Astley, Lauren’s father.

Based on much research over the years and his efforts through the Lauren Dunne Astley Memorial Fund to develop violence prevention programming in schools, Malcolm helps us take a closer look at the concept of “at-risk emotions” in young people. What they are, the process it takes to recognize and unpack them, and how caring adults can help teens build the skills to respond to these emotions in a healthy way.

Thank you for joining in this conversation. If you have a question or something you would like to share related to healthy teen relationships or teen relationship violence, please write to us.

Media List

Included below are more resources on relationship violence and today’s conversation.

Lauren Dunne Astley Memorial Fund (LDAMF Official website)
Escaping Breakup and Relationship Violence (LDAMF Foundation, YouTube)
Sudbury – Wayland – Lincoln – Domestic Violence Roundtable
Unexpected Childhood Death: Posttraumatic Stress Disorder in Surviving Siblings and Parents (Journal of Clinical Child Psychology)
Why Shame Sucks (Especially for Kids) and How You Can Stop It (HuffPost)
Shame in psychotherapy with adolescents (Journal of Child Psychotherapy)
Negative Emotions as Risk Factors for Self-Directed Violence and Intimate Partner Violence in Chinese College Students (Journal of Interpersonal Violence)
How to Respond to Teens’ ‘Emotional Eruptions’ (The Atlantic)
Discovering Who I Am: The Critical Role of Identity (MGH Clay Center)
10 Tips On Helping Teen Boys Express Their Feelings (HuffPost)
The Trauma Felt In Teenage Breakups (MGH Clay Center)
“How Can I Help You Say Goodbye” (Patty Loveless, YouTube)
On the Brink of Everything: Grace, Gravity, and Getting Old (Parker J. Palmer)
10 Signs of an Unhealthy Relationship (One Love Foundation)
Lean On Me (Bill Withers, YouTube)
Cain and Abel: Violence, Shame and Jealousy (Pastoral Psychology)
Harmful masculinity and violence (American Psychological Association)
"The Hill We Climb” (Amanda Gorman)