Setting Healthy Boundaries: Elicia Ybarra on Red Flags in Martial Arts (Part 2)

In Part 2 of our conversation with Elicia Ybarra, she unpacks her path to healing through EMDR trauma therapy. She realized how buried triggers from years of grooming and abuse sabotaged her marriage and self-defense curriculum development, leading to a near-separation and inability to be touched even by her son. She broke down her "Pretty Hands, Hard Punches" empowerment model. We also discussed why stats show 975/1000 sexual assault perpetrators walk free, the red flags of abuse, multi-layered boundaries (emotional, time, social), and the "think, yell, run, fight, tell" progression with simple, realistic strikes like palm heels to the nose (tested by board-breaking!).

Elicia shared red flags for parents: how to check for safe martial arts schools (check one-star reviews, watch instructor interactions, run background checks via Academy Safe, avoid MMA locker-room culture), how unquestioning obedience grooms kids to ignore gut instincts, and practical family rules like no adult secrets with children and always respecting "no" to hugs.

Be sure to follow Elicia on her website, prettyhandshardpunches.com, or on Facebook or Instagram @prettyhandshardpunches.

Trigger warning: This episode contains frank discussion of sexual assault statistics and low conviction rates, trauma triggers/panic attacks, strangulation, and stalking/harassment.

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