234: Navigate the Dip

INTRO:

Hey, thanks for tuning in to the Corporate Yogi podcast, I’m your host Julie Zuzek. This pod is YOUR dedicated time for growth, developing practical tools to use with your team and other relationships and to learning deeply about who you are and what makes you tick! Because you are a brilliant and powerful being and I want you to invest more time reflecting on WHO are being, not just WHAT you are doing. Doing is awesome, but BEING, well that is where the magic happens and what makes you truly feel fulfilled. You’re going to love this episode e. So, here’s a look at what you’re going to learn today

1 – In the first segment you’’ll learn what the dip is

2 – Then in the second segment you’ll learn how to avoid it

3 – And in the last segment you’ll learn tips to get out of the dip

So get out of your head, into your heart and let’s dive right in, shall we.

SEGMENT 1

You see, the DIP is kinda like quicksand. Once you’re in, it’s really hard to get out on your own, and the more you struggle and panic and fight it, the deeper you go into the quicksand.

What exactly is the dip? It’s that really dark place we go to when it feels like everything is going wrong. Work is wrong, relationships are wrong, our health is wrong. And it feels like we’re on a one-way ticket to blowing up. But see that is the tricky thing with being IN the dip, we lose all perspective and we don’t even really know that we’re there. We can’t see how deep we are and how much it is impacting us, only people outside of the dip can see that and they can help give us the perspective that we really need. So, I recently watched a tech insider video titled, how to escape quicksand. Don’t ask me why, it just showed up, it was a good looking animated video, and I remember scrolling through it and thinking, yeah – that might actually be useful, you never know when you’re going to find yourself trapped in quicksand, right? And in the video that actually say, don’t feak out because humans can’t actually drown in the stuff, as humans we actually float in it, and we’ll only sink up to about our waist. Really? I guess it’s just an urban legend that you can drown in quicksand. Although I feel like I’m pretty sure I’ve seen it happen in an Indiana jones or other action movie at some point, but whatever. I’m not going to challenge it. One thing they do say in this video is DON’T ask your friend to help pull you out.

OK, so then the dip is similar to quicksand, but that might not be the perfect analogy, because if you are in the DIP I know 100% that you can and SHOULD ask for help. And I promise that just the simple ask of telling someone that something is going on, but you don’t actually know exactly what it is. And that is totally ok.

So remember, the Dip is perfectly normal

There is No shame in being there. It’s just a natural part of the process.

And you don’t need to figure out WHY you’re in the dip, or understand How you got there, you only need to figure out HOW to get yourself out of there, and sometimes the easiest way to do that, is to ask for help. And the Dip this is the perfect thing to put into your relationship, to be able to say to your friend, and design, I may get in the dip, if I do I need to know that I can reach out to you for help at any time. And this has to be a two-way street, its kind of like making a pact, where you can both ask for help when you need it. No questions asked. Maybe you have a code word, or a code phrase you can use, instead of “the eagle has landed”, it could be “the eagle is stuck in the quicksand” , or maybe you can use this language of The Dip, as this place that we find ourselves in sometimes. But as part of the designed alliance, pls make sure you pick some sort of language you can use to quickly reference it, so the other person knows this is serious and you’re really reaching out for some help.

And one more really important thing. When you are asking someone else for help, pls make sure you specify that you have something going on and you really need their help, don’t just call them to see how they’re doing and then hope that they’ll read your mind and telepathically just KNOW that something is going on. Contrary to popular belief, they can’t actually reach your mind. If you need help, ask for help! Please remember, you don’t have to have the whole thing figured out before you reach out for help, that’s their job. Just remember, reach out and ask for help and use the language that you decided on in advance, for example – Hey I’m in the Dip and really need your help.

SEGMENT 2

So the Dip is slightly different for everyone, but some of the common things we experience there are feeling absolutely stuck, frustrated, discouraged. You might not be inspired by your work or your purpose any longer. Sometimes you may even want to throw in the towel and give up.

We all experience the dip slightly differently.

Sometimes it is caused by being completely burned out and we know we’ve worked too hard for too long without a break. This is common. When we are over worked we sometimes lose perspective, or ironically in the pursuit of accomplishing our big WHY we get too narrowly focused on work, we lose sight of what we are working towards. Perspective is everything! We need to have a break from work, to keep perspective and keep reminding ourselves of what that BIG why is!

Sometimes we go into the Dip because we feel discouraged and everything seems to be going wrong, and that feels frustrating. We find it hard because we can’t control things, or sometimes it can feel like a completely conspiracy like all Universal forces are working against us.

This can be a sign of working too hard, but it might also be that we are slightly off course, and we need to slow down, take the big picture perspective to see what is going on, and make a few small changes to get us back on course. Often we have received a lot of winks from the Universe along the way that we’re off course, but we have the blinders on and we’re narrowly focused on keeping track of all the things that are going wrong, we can’t possibly see the signs that we need to course correct and make some tiny adjustments.

And sometimes we go into the dip because we just reach a lull, or boredom and we don’t feel excited by what we’re doing any more. We can feel monotony or total boredom. Maybe it’s taking us longer to get to our goal than we anticipated. Maybe we’re just bogged down by too much work or too much admin. This is where reaching out to someone like a friend, and ideally a coach can really help, because we can hold up the mirror to you to help you see WHAT is really going on.

Now please remember that the dip isn’t permanent, it’s a temporary place you go to. And most importantly YOU can control how long you end up staying there.

And here’s why asking for help is so important. It’s something that I learned from Brene Brown. And she says that a lot of us really struggle with asking for help from others. And this is something I really used to struggle with, and sometimes I still do, until I make it conscious. She says that “When you cannot ask for help without self-judgment, then when you offer other people help, you’re always doing so with judgment.

That’s a really rich concept, so I’m going to read it again:

“When you cannot ask for help without self-judgment, then when you offer other people help, you’re always doing so with judgment.

Bottom line. Helping others is a two way street. So if YOU want to be a superhero, and help others, you have to be willing to accept help for yourself. Got it? And remember, when we ask for help, the problem doesn’t have to gift wrapped and tied with a beautiful shiny ribbon, ask for help with a messy problem, take your big old, messy, mess to someone and ask for help. Don’t be like my friend in the example and try to have it all figured out BEFORE you take it to someone. That’s when you know someone is a really good friend. I always say, bring me your ugly, your ugliest ugly, and we always figure it out.

There’s just something so healing about being able to get it off your chest and say it out loud.

So that wraps up segment 2 and why we fall into the dip

SEGMENT 3

And I want to share some tips you can use if you find yourself in the dip.

Remember, that it is completely normal, everyone has highs and lows. And the sheer act of making it conscious will make you feel better.

So tip #1 Talk to someone. a friend, a coach or other professional will make you feel better. And if you’re on the fence, wondering whether you need help, let’s always just error on the side of YES, you need to talk to someone. No harm can come from this and there’s always something to talk about anyways, right? If you won’t do it for me, do it for Brene Brown! If you refuse to ask for help, you’re placing a judgment on others when you help them. So don’t be greedy and ask for help. Create a code word, or phrase and prepare each other for this. And don’t just expect that they’ll be able to read your mind. Tell them straight up, what is going on and ask them for what you need.

2: Take a break:: And this can be a short term of just quitting the day early and going home, or it can be tapping out for a week and going on vacay. And even in situations where you feel like you can’t step away, often you actually can, but you’re so deep into the situation, you have lost perspective and can’t see a way to make it happen. And this is why we reference Tip #1 – reach out to a friend, because they will see the perspective a lot easier than you can. They will see solutions that you can’t necessarily see. Try to avoid the substances and other activities that make you numb. Be conscious about what is going on.

3:: Get perspective. Looking at the situation through a lens can help you remember WHY you’re doing this, and remember WHAT all the awesome milestones are that you have achieved, because you are a rockstar. Remember our mind is always going to naturally gravitate to keep track of what we don’t have, instead of what we do have. So check in and get perspective.

OK the 4th tip for when you’re in the dip is to design and prepare a dip buddy, this takes a lot of courage and vulnerability, but they need to see you at your worst, and you will inspire them to make the same request of you – be their dip buddy

OK, so that is 3 tips for the dip, right:

1 – talk to someone

2 – take a break

3 – get perspective

4 – establish a dip buddy

Remember, don’t be a hero, ask for help. Don’t try to figure it all out, wrap it up in a nice little bow, just reach out to someone, anyone and ask for help. And remember, you are a leader, and you teach people through your actions. So when you reach out for help and tell others what you have going on, it gives them permission to do the same, if they ever find themselves in the DIP.

WRAP UP

OK it’s time to wrap up this episode on the Dip. As always, if you’re inspired by the content today, please share this episode with a friend, colleague or on social media. You can also subscribe to this podcast on my website at thecorporateyogi.com. If you want to book a chat with me directly to discuss change or coaching in general you can find my booking link on LinkedIn or Instagram @thecorporateyogi. And as always, remember, that any fear or resistance you hold inside of you, is simply just your greatness in disguise.