Parenting as a Mirror: What Your Triggers Are Trying to Tell You

⁠⁠⁠⁠LEARN HOW TO JOURNALSPEAK There are moments in parenting that do not feel the way you thought they would. A reaction that comes on too fast. An intensity that does not quite match what is happening. A wave of anger, fear, resentment, guilt, or panic that seems to rise out of nowhere and suddenly you are not responding from the grounded adult part of you anymore. You are in it. Most of us are taught to override these moments. We tell ourselves to calm down, be grateful, be a good parent, stop overreacting, let it go. But the nervous system does not respond to what you think you should feel. It responds to what is actually there. And often, what is actually there has very little to do with the child in front of you and everything to do with the younger parts of you that are being activated in real time. In this episode, which comes from one of our BreakAwake Bootcamps, we explore parenting as one of the most powerful mirrors we will ever encounter. Not because our children are doing anything wrong, and not because we are bad parents for being triggered, but because parenting has a way of bringing our unconscious material straight to the surface. The impatience, the fear, the urgency, the need to control, the heartbreak, the overwhelm, the feeling that we are failing or being rejected or losing ourselves — all of it is information. When we can slow these moments down enough to understand what is really happening inside, something begins to shift. The trigger becomes less of a verdict and more of a doorway. Instead of using shame to force ourselves into being calmer, we can begin to meet the part of us that is scared, overextended, unseen, or still waiting for something it never got. This is exactly the kind of work we do inside BreakAwake. Every month, we poll our private community about what they most want to explore, what they are struggling with, and what questions are alive for them right now. Then we build these monthly Bootcamps around those themes, answering questions, teaching the work, and bringing these ideas into real life where they actually matter. If this kind of conversation interests you, the best way to be involved is to join the BreakAwake membership, where you can be part of the private community, help shape future Bootcamp topics, and receive ongoing support as you deepen this work. MEMBERSHIP: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.yourbreakawake.com/membership⁠⁠⁠⁠ Parenting will always bring us to our edges, but those edges do not have to mean we are doing it wrong. Sometimes they are simply showing us where the next layer of healing is ready to begin. Join us! XOOX n. More for you: Lisa and I will be teaching at ⁠⁠⁠Miraval Austin from September 25–27 ⁠⁠⁠for a relaxing, immersive retreat experience rooted in this work. You can learn more by visiting ⁠⁠⁠www.NicoleSachs.com⁠⁠⁠ and clicking the Retreats tab. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠SUBSCRIBE TO MY NEW SUBSTACK⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! So excited about this one :)) Want your questions answered directly by me? 💛 Receive support, guidance, connection, and direct access to me in our HEAL WITH NICOLE MEMBERSHIP: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://tinyurl.com/y7wadt8d⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠1:1 COACHING WITH TRAINED COACHES SUPERVISED DIRECTLY BY NICOLE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠PLEASE RATE AND REVIEW THE PODCAST HERE TO HELP OTHERS FIND IT!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Producer: Lisa Eisenpresser ~~~~~ SUPPORT: 🟠 Struggling with chronic pain? Check out my Freedom From Chronic Pain course   GET THE FIRST LESSON FREE: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.yourbreakawake.com/painfree⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 🟠  Anxiety controlling your life? Try my Freedom From an Anxious Life course  GET THE FIRST LESSON FREE: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.yourbreakawake.com/anxietyfree⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  🧠  Learn more about the brain science and clinical experiences in my book   MIND YOUR BODY: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.yourbreakawake.com/book⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ~~~~ JOIN THE CONVERSATION ON INSTAGRAM  👉   ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/nicolesachslcsw⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ SUBSCRIBE TO THE PODCAST  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 👉   ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://podfollow.com/the-cure-for-chronic-pain-with-nicole-sachs-lcsw⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Podcast music by the beautiful and talented Danielle Furst: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@musicfurst⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices