Les, Kurt, and Jason lament the essential cancellation of Halloween as we know it, walk of shame and all. (Poor slutty David S. Pumpkin costumes will have to wait until next year). They also offer huge congrats to our friend David Rosen of the Piecing it Together Podcast on his marriage… even if it takes the guys a second to piece together what the name of his podcast is. The Blac Chyna news leads everyone down a rabbit hole about whether it’s easier to transition to porn to so-called legit acting work or vice versa… and whether or not character actors can do it (picture Ed Asner naked, you are welcome). Then, it’s time to embrace the season of FALLmark and Falling for Look Lodge, a Hallmark movie bursting at the seams with the most white people stereotype ever: being really into autumn! Even with boring trivia games, an understaffed and underpopulated lodge, a super weird energy cake tasting, a sinister sister that would totally be a murderous stalker in any other movie, and a dude that’s into a turtle more than a woman (which is obvious to everyone but the woman), the biggest takeaway is that every Hallmark movie is basically Baby Boom. And that Linda Evans used to be married to Yanni.
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Theme song generously donated by purple-planet.com
The Legend of the Lost Locket Is As Big a Mystery as Learning Exactly What The Schmoo Is
Million Dollar Lethal Listing Hits the Market Thanks to Jackee Harry, Meredith Thomas, and a Homeowner That’s All To Eager to Let Squatters Stay in HIs Home
Killer Cheer Mom Denise Richards Snoops the Old Fashioned Way And Takes On Max from Hart to Hart
Lindsay Lohan Has an Irish Wish to Get in a Netflix Loop Group with the Illuminati to Get in the Bible or Win a Golden Globe
Guiding Les through Guiding Emily, a Cautionary Tale about Fiber and Ambien
It’s Worse to Have a Nut Allergy on Bathhouse Row Than It is to be Betrayed by My Bridesmaid
An American in Austen Tries to Invoke Jane Austen as Directed by Brian DePalma Starring Sarah Ferguson
Woman with the Red Lipstick Brings the Black Hoodie back to Lifetime for Some Pogo Sticking!
Winter Castle Features the Most Heinous Villain We’ve Ever Seen in a Movie, and Not Because She would’ve Saltburn-ed Someone
The Wrong Life Coach Can’t Even Help You Avoid a Bat… Or fromTaking Boudoir Photos at Olan Mills with Meredith Thomas
Dying for Fame Because Stalkers Work in Teams That Post All of Their Moves on Reddit
Melissa McCarthy Unleashed a Genie Out of the Box Because These Wish Rules Are Chaotic as the Klumps
Ladies of the 80’s: A Divas Christmas Features Incredible Tales of Craft Services Tables From Years Past
Hallmark’s A Merry Scottish Christmas is Basically Succession if Lacey Chabert and Scott Wolf Don’t Want the Empire
Gay Icon Burt Young is Roomies with Corey Haim Because Everything in the 80’s was Problematic
The Moonlighting Pilot Triggers a ConversationAbout Nazis and Gay Nightclubs That Should Not Miss
Suzanne Somers in Three’s Company - Chrissy and the Guru
Notorious Cheers Spinoff (That Isn’t Frasier) The Tortellis Features a Cameo from Barbie co-star Rhea Perlman
Dr. Seuss’ Halloween is Grinch Night is nothing but Class and Cocaine and Smelly Wind
What a Country America is When Famous Russian Yakov Smirnoff Becomes Ronald Reagan’s Speechwriter and Martina Navratilova is on the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills
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