Stinker Madness - The Podcast for Bad Movie Lovers
TV & Film:Film Reviews
3 little hemorrhoids, who are trained to be silent assassins by their "Ninja Tournament" winning grandfather, go to Japan to recover/keep a dagger that is used to unlock a treasure vault/give the same dagger to the winner of the "Ninja Tournament" in time to get home for little league played by adult men and farts.
I can't express my contempt for 3 Ninjas Kick Back in words. I will instead commit Seppuku because I have made suck poor choices in my life that I have dishonored my family name by seeing it. Goodbye, cruel world.
Ok, well now that that is over with, I'll try to demonstrate why you should avoid 3 Ninjas Kick Back like North Korea (perhaps not coincidentally, this movie is beloved by Kim Jong Un). Nothing works here. These children are not ninja. They are karate kids. Ninjas are trained silent assassins and they don't have competition tournaments for high schoolers. Then there's the dagger- Nope. I can't. I hate this movie so much that I am going to drink strychnine and think about how I've disappointed my father once again as I drift off to eternal damnation. See you in a minute, Satan. Oh? You hate this movie too? It's banned in Hell? Sweet!
Yeah, it's a don't.
Year 9 in Review
The Rage - Good thing anti-American militias have such terrible plans
Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama - Not as slimey as lead to believed
Rollerball - Could be the worst movie of all time
Roadhouse (2024) - Dalton should've packed more shirts
Riding the Bus with my Sister - Wait, isn't this just a Hallmark movie?
Tiptoes - Nobody puts Oldman in the sofa, baby
Blown Away - Bombs, sure, but not they way they wanted
Ishtar - Ishnotsobad?
Lisa Frankenstein - It's pronounced LEE-SAW!
Night Teeth - Ugh, valley girl vampires are so passe.
Action USA - All Action, All the Time
New York Ninja - Powdered Egg Vengeance
Annabelle - I am NecraZul, Lord Demon of the LA Rams and Tea Parties
Highlander II - Immortal Space Laser Conspiracy Theory
Double Trouble - It takes two, baby
Detective Knight: Redemption - Go how you wanna go, Bruce
The Christmas Consultant - Don’t Hassel Your Christmas Man
Elf-Man - Better than socks, I guess
Highlander - Listen first before sending death threats
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