The ADHD Smarter Parenting‘s Podcast
Kids & Family:Parenting
Have you ever given a consequence that hasn't worked? We know we have.
Implementing consequences that work to change behavior can be difficult for many parents. Often, we continue to give consequences repeatedly that don't work, which only increases our frustration level.
Learning how to give consequences that work is made easier when parents use Effective Negative Consequences. Effective Negative Consequences gives parents the 5 elements they need to make a consequence work for their child.
Giving consequences that work is difficult because no two children or situations are the same, even though we often treat them the same.
Parents may struggle with consequences because consequences are often given as an emotional response where "grounding them for a year" seems like a good idea. Consequences given as an emotional response don't tend to be as effective because they are often too big.
When you give consequences that are too big for the behavior, often you aren't able to follow through. That teaches your child that their negative behavior doesn't matter as they will not truly get a consequence for their behavior. Which only leads them to repeat the action.
When parents use the five elements of Effective Negative Consequences, it signals to their child a few things.
First, it signals that you are disappointed in the behavior and not in them. This distinction is crucial as it allows you to strengthen your relationship even when you're giving them consequences.
Second, it allows them to see that you value them as a person. When you give tailored and essential consequences to your child, you are signaling that they matter to you.
Third, it helps them know you're interested in helping them change and be better. The purpose of a consequence is to teach and not to punish.
If you need additional help learning how to give consequences that work, sign up for parenting coaching. Both the gold and platinum tier of the Smarter Parenting club provides coaching.
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Ep. #211: We Are Making Changes to Serve You Better
Ep #210: Disciplining Your Child Calmly and Effectively
Ep #209: A Nuanced Approach to Effective Consequences
Ep #208: Role-playing--the secret sauce for changing a child’s brain
Ep # 207: Effective Praise: The Magic Wand Nobody is Looking For
Ep #206: When one child take the all the focus and attention
Ep# 205: Having Hard Conversations About Safety
Ep #204: ADHD and violent behavior
Ep #203: 5 Tips for dealing with meltdowns
Ep #202: Helping ADHD kids discover their superpowers with Isaac Eaves
Ep #201: New Challenge: Electronics and Children
Ep #200: Using Effective Communication
Ep #199: Breaking down Role-plays
Ep #198:Why consequences aren’t working
Ep 197: Answering More Parenting Questions
Ep #196: Answering your parenting questions
Ep #195: Teaching kids with ADHD how to set goals
Ep# 194: How to be more clear using Observe and Describe
Ep #193: Using the ABC’s of Behavior to understand your child’s behavior
Ep #192: Creating family rules around screen time
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