Today’s guest is Jane Chelliah, a South Asian midlife influencer and blogger who talks candidly about motherhood, feminism and transforming the female midlife crisis into a happy phase in life. Jane didn’t always see herself as a mother but found that she was absolutely besotted in love with her daughter when she was born.
Jane describes herself as a Feminist mother. I ask her what that means to her and she shares an evocative metaphor: “It’s about putting that oxygen mask on yourself first before putting it on your child, and that way, you can not only be the best version of yourself but you can be the best for your child. It’s about empowered mothering.”
Motherhood can make women lose that sense of self, of who they were before they became mothers. When I ask Jane about whether motherhood affected her identity, she explains how it added further dimensions to her ability to be more compassionate and thoughtful towards another human being and for herself too. Contrary to societal preconceptions of motherhood, it actually sharpened her ambition and empowered her to be more motivated.
We also examine the “motherhood penalty”, assumptions and prejudices in the workforce, how austerity has rested disproportionately upon mothers from economically deprived groups, and the hollowness that comes with becoming an empty-nester.
You can read more about Jane on www.amidlferinlondon.com and www.ambitiousmamas.co.uk.
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Season 6: Ep 44 - In conversation with Mitali Dargani on outward success, inner flaws, and straddling stability with taking risks
Season 6: Ep 43 - The motherhood juggle: redefining the narrative and finding ways to enjoy the present
Season 6: Ep 42 - Seetal Kaur on motherhood: learning and unlearning from traditions, defying complete selflessness and setting good examples
Season 6: Ep 41 - In conversation with Sairish Hussain on finding inspiration, original storytelling and navigating the publishing industry
TRAILER: Season 6
Season 5: Ep 40 - March Muses founders Alison Burton and Natalie Duvall on Dragons’ Den, and balancing entrepreneurialism, motherhood and creativity
Season 5: Ep 39 - Navigating “mum-guilt”, anxiety and life as a stay-at-home mum
Season 5: Ep 37 - Pregnant Then Screwed Founder Joeli Brearley on pregnancy discrimination, fixing childcare and creating a fairer workplace for mothers
TRAILER - Season 5
Season 4: Ep 36 - Dina Begum on the symbolism of food, Bangladeshi hospitality and our favourite dishes
Season 4: Ep 35 - Urban planning, spatial inequalities and feminist cities
Season 4: Ep 34 - Dr Lisa Mckenzie on being a Working Class Academic, the myth of Social Mobility, and defining “Cultural Capital”
Season 4: Ep 33 - In conversation with Nijjor Manush: the Gentrification of Brick Lane, British-Bangladeshi Identity and the media's invalidation of Muslim women.
Season 4: Ep 32 - Modern Dating, long-term relationships, and the importance of slowing down post-pandemic
Season 4: Ep 31 - How do we build a more diverse, representative and fairer teaching curriculum?
TRAILER - Season 4
Season 3: Ep 30 - Raising the visibility of disability through advocacy, accessibility and destigmatisation
Season 3: Ep 29 - Why Queer South Asian storytelling matters
Season 3: Ep 28 - Inequalities, Opportunities and Progress among women in the South Asian diaspora
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