How do I tell this story? Perhaps without using any names or many descriptions. You see, I am not convinced that LGBT people can be considered safe from violence at the hands of people -- including self-proclaimed Christians -- who don't like laws and court rulings related to equality and are seeking aggressive and "creative" methods of responding.
None of my friends in high school were open about being gay. There were a couple of casual acquaintances, but that is it. Today, more than a few Facebook friends from high school are, relatively speaking, very out about their homophobia. Oh, they wouldn't call it that. They'd use terms like "conservative" or notions of old-fashioned values related to how we were raised in the Bible Belt.
Here is where
it gets strange, though. A mutual friend that I believe we all respected is
gay. We didn't know it then. Many don't know it now. I wouldn't exactly call
her "open" about it, but I can tell. I know, for example, that she
hears my "tone of voice" online and appreciates it. As a Christian,
this brings me great joy. As a graduate of this particular high school, it
makes me sad.
I'm sure my friends on the political right, people who are in many ways so wrong despite believing they are right in multiple senses of the word, still hold the same affection for our old classmate. Odds are they don't know that she is a lesbian. I didn't for decades, so why should they? Here's the question, though: what would change if they were confronted with the ultimate freedom Christ offers to his followers -- aka, Truth (the Truth will set you free)?
If they know what I know, would they reject this person or update their assumptions and "beliefs" with new information? This mutual friend of ours wasn't just somebody that we used to know. I always saw her as an ally -- take from that term whatever you will. I valued her advice and leadership, although I probably rarely sought it. I believe our younger friends trusted her to the same degree or more. It is, though, these younger friends that concern me the most.
Some would
be indifferent to the news I never intend to share because it doesn't belong to
me.
Some might
stop in their tracks, which is an encouraging thought.
All of that is overshadowed by my fear that some, even though we came from the same circles, might just add her to the list of people that they don't believe should be allowed ...
I can't even finish that sentence without holding my breath. Allowed to what?
* allowed to shop in the same stores I do,
* allowed to live with (and certainly not marry) the person she loves,
* allowed to hold a job without pretending she just hasn't found the right man yet,
* allowed to share her life story openly without a threat of violence, either verbal or worse,
* or perhaps even allowed to live.
Let me admit something else that I haven’t really shared before. More and more, my own feelings are not just about concern but fear. Would I be safe putting these thoughts on the line with people from our old school? Probably. Isn’t that shocking, though, that the honest answer is only “probably”? Whether it reveals something about me, like perhaps my own trust problems, or something larger about the debate over equality, it is still a true reflection of my doubts.
Look, it isn’t a big jump to move from rounding up your enemy to rounding up “their sympathizers” because we’ve seen this in almost every fascist system you can find in a history book that hasn’t been whitewashed by the myopically patriotic. I can’t tell you where the utopian vision of those who don’t really believe the American mantra that “all people are created equal and have certain inalienable rights” (including the pursuit of happiness) would end.
Does their version of patriotism deny a gay couple the right to get married? Clearly, yes.
Is it
aggressive about ensuring that a bakery that wants to segregate its customer
base (on a highly arbitrary standard from a Judeo-Christian perspective) faces no
legal requirement to treat customers equally and fairly? Certainly, yes.
Would they burn a cross (or a building) of companies that eagerly pick up the
business of customers who are rejected in this manner and any other customers
who prefer to spend their money with people who choose not to separate,
isolate, and humiliate anyone? I’m desperate to say no to this question, but it’s
neither clear nor certain to me right now.
So, I worry
about old friends who have to hide facts about other old friends from mutual
old friends. Honestly, I also worry that even sharing these feeling could make
me unwelcome in some corners of my old hometown. On the next Walk The Earth
(#25), I’ll talk a little about cakes and cookies and a fear of being poisoned
by people who don’t like my ideas.
It’s
irrational. I used to say that I know it’s irrational. I still do believe it’s
irrational, which simply suggests that all of us are irrational about
something. That’s what fear does, though. It makes us doubt the things we ought
to take for granted.
1 John 4: 18-21 says:
“There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves
punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love. We love, because
He first loved us. If someone says, ‘I love God,’ and hates his brother, he is
a liar; for the one who does not love his brother whom he has seen, cannot love
God whom he has not seen. And this commandment we have from Him, that the one
who loves God should love his brother also.” (NASB_1995)
236: 42 Questions
235: Transactional Friendship
Talkback: Walk The Earth 49
Tomorrow's Edition
Make Up
Sounds Like a Serious Offense
A Belated Happy Birthday
Tithe
Unrequited Love
Third Person
A Simple Yes Or No
Some Assembly Required
Laws Of Motion
A Handful of Hair
Christmas from Crimes Against Food
Where 16 = Forever
Chapter And Verse
Words Per Minute
Authorial Intent
Part Time (March 13, 1986)
Create your
podcast in
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The Modern West
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