Why do our kids mask? | Pete Wharmby

Why do so many autistic and ADHD kids put on a brave face at school - only to melt down at home? Masking is a survival strategy for so many of our neurodivergent children. Pete Wharmby joins Mark to talk about why they do it, what the long terms affects are on their sense of self, and how we can help them unmask safely.

They explore the school environment, social pressures and internalised expectations that drive masking behaviour - often at great emotional cost.

Pete shares his personal journey of unmasking as an adult, and how he’s helping his own child feel accepted without having to perform. Mark reflects on the challenge of supporting a child who seems “fine” to outsiders – and the guilt that comes when parents question their own instincts.

If you’re looking for a neurodivergent parenting podcast episode that unpacks this essential topic with warmth, honesty and wisdom, this is it.

LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE:

Pete Wharmby's website - https://petewharmby.com/

"Untypical" by Pete Wharmby - https://amzn.eu/d/35cWwBh

Alexis Quinn - https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/stories/stories-from-the-spectrum-alexis-quinn

University of Edinburgh study in autistic communication with other autistics - https://salvesen-research.ed.ac.uk/our-projects/autistic-autistic-communication

Autistic code switching - https://myautismmind.com/autism-masking/

Autistic Girls Network - https://autisticgirlsnetwork.org/

Lego hidden disabilities sunflower - https://hdsunflower.com/uk/insights/post/the-lego-group-joins-hidden-disabilities-sunflower

"What I Want To Talk About" by Pete Wharmby - https://amzn.eu/d/3HoKSt9

 

CONTACT US

If you have any feedback about the show, ideas for topics, suggestions for neurodiversity champions or any "What the flip?" moments you'd like to share, you can email: hello@neuroshambles.com


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