Sarah Fellows: Grieving a parent lost to addiction

In this deeply moving episode of Children of Alcoholics, Sarah and Amy are joined by Sarah Fellows – a mum of three, physiotherapist, somatic therapist and adult child of an alcoholic mother.

Sarah shares her story of growing up with a mum who struggled with alcohol addiction, the complex grief that followed her mum’s death, and what it’s like to grieve not just the parent you lost, but the parent you never truly had. Together, they explore the emotional neglect, hypervigilance and survival strategies that so many children of alcoholics carry into adulthood.

The conversation dives into nervous system regulation, somatic therapy and how trauma is stored in the body – often resurfacing years later in unexpected ways. Sarah speaks honestly about anger, guilt, relief and shame, motherhood after addiction, and the lifelong work of breaking generational cycles.

Sarah also shares the story behind a song she wrote in the depths of grief after her mum’s death – a song that went on to be gifted to Nacoa and has resonated powerfully with others affected by addiction.

This episode is raw, validating and deeply compassionate. It’s a reminder that healing isn’t linear, grief is complex, and it is possible to choose a different story for the next generation.

Content note: This episode includes discussion of parental addiction, death, trauma and grief.