I've adapted this method from the work of Dr. Kristin Neff, PhD (https://self-compassion.org)
There are seven steps:
1) Realize that you are "in shame."
2) Name that you are in shame (say out loud your to yourself, “I feel shame.”)
a) Stay in the present moment, in your body.
b) stabilize your awareness strongly so that you don’t get dragged back into images of pain
3) Fully accept that you feel shame. Be aware of bracing against versus embrace. Embrace your role as host that creates space for the energy of shame
4) Speak to yourself the way you would with whom you have warm relationship
a) validate and normalize your feelings
b) demonstrate that you are in solidarity with yourself. Create a subject-to-subject dynamic inside yourself.
5) Open your heart to the world and all of the people right now that are feeling shame or whatever that you feel. Be in solidarity with them. Tell them that you see them. You are in it with them; that you understand them.
6) Breathe in and bless yourself. Breathe out and bless them. Repeat for as long as you want
7) You are now diffused from the energetics of shame (or whatever else). Be aware that there will be temptations to start thinking about that “thing” that caused you to feel shame. You have learned that you have agency over the focus of your attention. With dignity and integrity, stabilize your focused awareness into the present moment, and dive into doing the next right thing that is life-giving for you and for others.
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