THE Amicable Divorce Expert with Judith Weigle
Society & Culture:Relationships
THE Amicable Divorce Expert interviews Judy Graybill, Step-Parent Coach, on the best ways to be a step-parent in a second marriage. Second marriages are tough for several reasons, but there are empowering things you can do about it:
The best-case scenarios typically happen when the biological parent heals completely after their divorce, and is able to gain closure from their 1st marriage prior to remarrying. Called an Emotional Divorce, this facilitates co-parenting communications, and has best outcomes for the children. Then, when there is an issue between the step-parent and co-parents over ideologies or logistics in decisions for the children, nobody feels threatened or undermined. Thus, it’s easier to answer the question, , “What would give the children the healthiest and happiest life? What would keep the peace and provide harmony in both households?”
Otherwise, if an emotional divorce is not achieved, the issues that ended the marriage can easily play out in co-parenting and influence the step-parent. Therapy for all three adults together can help work on the current blended parenting relationship if all parents want the relationship to work, and want to be the best parents they can be, minus the titles of biological and step. Children would like nothing more than for everyone to get along.
Bottom Line: Be a healthy Role Model for the kids, advocating the positive values you hold dear, even if you have to do it silently. This is ultimately what the kids learn.
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