Ladies, We Need To Talk

"I wish I'd never had them": the pain of regretting kids

Having children is one of the most rewarding and meaningful things we can do. But what if you wish you'd never become a parent?For mothers especially, the taboo of admitting they regret their children can be incredibly lonely. Many carry their grief, loss of identity and exhaustion in silence.Yumi Stynes gets a rare window into the lives of people who love their children but admit that if they could go back in time, they'd make a different choice.Featured in this episode:Ella Reed, sociologist at Monash University researching maternal regret This episode will answer questions like:  What does it feel like to regret having kids?Why do some parents regret having children?Where do you get help if you’re struggling as a parent?How does regretting children impact a romantic relationship?Why is maternal regret so taboo? What to listen to next:"Traded a husband for a bestie" Why these mums moved in togetherWorst ever dates, with Alita BrydonThe grief no parent expectsWhat to read next:Empty-nesters on how they 'fill the void' left by childrenWomen on being in a sexless marriage and tips for reconnectingThese grieving mothers want you to say their babies' namesThis episode contains references to motherhood, parenting, mothering, regret, anxiety, depression, suffering, family, mental load, support, relationships, romance.

‘I'm always going to be the mistress’: Dating a married man

There’s a special kind of fury reserved for the 'other woman.' She’s often depicted as a home wrecker and immoral, but is she misunderstood? Unlucky to fall for someone who’s already taken?   Yumi Stynes speaks with women whose hearts belong to married men and discovers that beneath the stereotypes are complicated love stories built on hope and promises in the face of deception.    Psychologist Liz Neal also explains what forbidden love does to the brain and why it can be so enticing. (R). This episode will answer questions like: What’s it like to be the other woman?How do people hide affairs from their partners?Why do people have affairs?Where does the ‘seductive mistress’ trope come from? What to listen to next:"Traded a husband for a bestie" Why these mums moved in togetherWorst ever dates, with Alita BrydonThe grief no parent expectsWhat to read next:These grieving mothers want you to say their babies' namesEmpty-nesters on how they 'fill the void' left by childrenThis episode contains references to cheating, infidelity, sex, relationships, marriage, women, the other woman.  

"Traded a husband for a bestie." Why these mums moved in together

Have you ever fantasised about raising kids with your bestie? Well, some women are doing it for real. And these mum communes or ‘mummunes’ don’t look like your average share house.  These women are sharing a roof, chores, bills and the mental load of raising their kids. For some, it’s the antidote to a nuclear family structure that left them drained and resentful. For others, it’s a handy, albeit overcrowded solution to the struggles of single motherhood. Yumi Stynes speaks to women who are rewriting the rules of motherhood and finds out what there is to gain when you challenge the status quo.  This episode will answer questions like: Can you raise children with your best friend? Should you raise children with a romantic partner? Why do women feel burnt out as wives and mothers? Has the nuclear family become outdated for women? Do you need men to raise kids? What are the challenges of raising kids with your best friend? How do communal living arrangements deal with money? How does dating work in a mummune? Why do women initiate household and child care more than men? What to listen to next:Are you mum or grandma? Having a baby at 47The women who've never had sexOne true love or many: Monogamy vs. open relationshipsWhat to read next:These grieving mothers want you to say their babies' namesEmpty-nesters on how they 'fill the void' left by childrenWhy these women have never had a partnerThis episode contains references to child care, parenting, mothering, single mum, alternative family structures, romantic partner, heterosexuality, patriarchy, mommune, mummune, commune, shared living, alternative living, community, individualism, village.

Worst ever dates, with Alita Brydon

It’s truth universally acknowledged that a single woman in the modern world has endured at least one truly disastrous date. It is, regrettably, a rite of passage. Author Alita Bryson has been on hundreds of them! One guy asked her if it was okay to marry your cousin, another trolled people online for fun while yet another literally drove off mid-date. While her dating life was catastrophic, Alita realised it made great fodder for entertainment and so she started the Instagram page Bad Dates of Melbourne, publishing anonymous submissions of terrible dates so that women could take comfort in each other’s suffering (and laugh at each other’s misfortune).  Alita has some sage advice for anyone out there brave enough to date. Further information: How to date like a dangerous woman is published by HarperCollins. This episode will answer questions like: How can I meet someone new?Is it ok to ghost someone?Should I pay for dinner on a date?Can I leave a date if I don’t like the other person?How can I meet a potential date safely? What to listen to next:The new way to dateThe ugly side of the beauty industry with Jess DeFinoIs your attachment style messing with your love life?Jess Mauboy steps into her boss lady era What to read next:Empty-nesters on how they 'fill the void' left by childrenWhy these women have never had a partnerThese grieving mothers want you to say their babies' namesThis episode contains references to Bad Dates of Melbourne, dating, dating apps, Tinder, Hinge, Bumble, relationships, sex, orgies, orgasms and how to date like a dangerous woman. 

The grief no parent expects

At some point in life, we all lose someone we love. But losing a baby is an unimaginable heartbreak. Our children are not meant to die before us.In the wake of that loss, families are left reeling. Navigating shock, confusion, and overwhelming grief as they face a future without a much-loved child.Yumi Stynes meets two women who have experienced infant loss. They share how they moved through their grief, how they celebrate their babies, and how people in their life stepped up- or stepped away.And registered psychologist, Rachel Ficinus explains how grief can be ongoing and the strategies to help you and your loved ones navigate a life-changing loss.If you need help:Red Nose Australia offers counselling and support for families who have lost infants.Lifeline on 131 114Beyond Blue on 1300 224 636 This episode will answer questions like:How do I deal with grief when a loved one dies?Who can I talk to when my child dies?What should I say to someone who's child has died?How can I help someone who's grieving?Where can I find support after I lose my child?Does grief have an end point?What to listen to next:How to deal with an empty nest — ABC listenJess Mauboy steps into her boss lady era — ABC listenWhat to read next:Empty-nesters on how they 'fill the void' left by childrenWhy these women have never had a partnerThis episode contains references to grief, child loss, infant death, bereavement and Red Nose Australia, organ donation, DonateLife.