Dear Men: How to Rock Sex, Dating, and Relationships With Women

394: Why is polarity so critical for attraction? (ft. Jason Lange)

Have you ever been in a relationship where it felt like the spark had died? There's no chemistry but you're going through the motions, wishing there was more heat, more aliveness, more oomph.If so, you might have been bumping up against the principle of polarity.---Work with usReady to go deeper than the podcast and take action? Jason and I can help you break old patterns and transform your sex & love life for good. To see if you're a fit for our flagship program, Pillars of Presence, book a call here. Start anytime. (https://evolutionary.men/apply/)---Mentioned on this episode:DM 380: What exactly IS polarity?DM 103: Reverse polarity can kill your sex life as a coupleDear Men 297: The problems with polarity---Memorable quotes:

393: What's it REALLY like living in community, and how does it impact your relationships?

“I become a bit of a depresso-goblin when I live alone.”So shares one of my housemates -- an eloquent interpretation, perhaps, of the loneliness episode we're living through, according to the US Surgeon General.We all know that loneliness sucks. Among other things, it elevates risk of heart disease, stroke, dementia, depression, and anxiety (among other health concerns).So what do we do about it? According to the Pew Research Center, around 40% of adults are un-partnered, and a recent CNN article states that close to 30% of all US households are folks living on their own. Add to this the gig economy and an increased prevalence of workplaces that are entirely online, and you've got a major societal issue.Living in community is one way of coming together, having more fun, getting more practical support, and strengthening the overall social fabric of your life.Here, I get personal. I myself live in a coliving situation with six other friends. In this episode we delve into questions like:What was your life like before living in community, and what motivated you to seek out a community living situation?Anything you were hesitant about when it came to living in community?What needs of yours are met by living in community? What challenges have you found in it?How has living in community impacted your love relationship (if you’re in one)? What advice do you have for others who are considering living in community?---Memorable quotes:“It seemed like a good healthy risk.”“I don’t have coworkers, so the vast majority of my sustaining social connection comes from this house.”“It's special to have built-in friends.”“One hesitation for me was that everything wasn’t going to be accessible to me 100% of the time in exactly the way I’d want.”“Living with people helps me with being open to receiving.”“It’s more isolating when you’re living in a home with just your partner.”“It's great having that space to be received and seen by others.”“It requires vulnerability and communication.”“It’s very lively!”“A better version of me lives when I live in community.” ---Mentioned on this episode:Nesterly: Share a home with someone you can trust for over 1 month stays. Renters can lend a hand for discounted rent.CoHoUS (The Cohousing Institute of the United States): A resource with courses as well as online social gatherings for those interested in cohousing and coliving

392: Why is it so hard to quit porn!? (ft. Jason Lange)

How do you know if you're addicted to porn?Instead of addiction language, some mental health specialists use the term Problematic Porn Use to discuss this. The heart of it is the same, however: How do I stop watching porn? (and why is it so freakin' hard to stop using porn??)Here we delve into the topic, but not from a shame-based point of view. Instead we look at the underlying needs that are met by porn use -- and how to move beyond it.The truth is that this is a complex and intricate subject. It's not as simple or easy as "just stop" -- and whether it's an outside force or your own inner critic saying this, it's simply not helpful (and often damaging).As with many things in life, the truth is, as Jason puts it: “You CAN do this. You just can’t do it alone.”---Work with usReady to go deeper than the podcast and take action? Jason and I can help you break old patterns and transform your sex & love life for good. To see if you're a fit for our flagship program, Pillars of Presence, book a call here. Start anytime. (https://evolutionary.men/apply/)---Mentioned on this episode:Dear Men 358: Do you trust men?Dear Men 262: Are you lonely?---Memorable quotes:“When we don’t know how to share what’s inside of us, most men will default to is ejaculating it out.”“Porn is a subset of the attention-hijacking we’re all in the middle of right now.”“It was very disempowering to feel like I didn’t have control.”“You get exactly what you want and you can’t be rejected.”“As our system gets larger, we don’t need certain crutches anymore.”“I hit a certain level of stress, and my body does this.”“I changed my life so I wasn’t hitting that trigger switch.”“You CAN do this. You just can’t do it alone.”

391: 'What Relationships Would You Want, if You Believed They Were Possible?' [The Ezra Klein Show]

ATTRIBUTION NOTE: This is NOT an original episode. This is a complete episode of The Ezra Klein Show that I'm posting here, with a note from me at the beginning.Original episode can be found here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/what-relationships-would-you-want-if-you-believed-they/id1548604447?i=1000644331040What follows is my own reasons for posting this:---We are at a crossroads in our cultures and societies worldwide.In many places, social networks are in tatters. Mental health is abysmal in spots without tight-knit communities -- which, let's face it, is a growing number of places. The nuclear family paradigm has dominated over the past 50-75 years, but does it work?Evidence suggests otherwise.Single adults living alone are so lonely they often experience significant anxiety & depression. Parents are stressed and overwhelmed, with children taking up so much energy and attention that it's hard to connect as a couple (including sex! and other kinds of intimacy). And older adults are either aging alone, or in environments that sap their vitality.Studies show that trends around social isolation hit men particularly hard. According to Gallup, for example, "[Young men in the US] are significantly more likely than their female peers to experience deaths of despair."And: "Americans who experience daily loneliness are significantly less likely to report smiling or laughing ... They are also half as likely to be classified as 'thriving' in life."Let's review that: Lonely people are HALF as likely to be classified as thriving. And what happens when you're not thriving? You're almost always not having great sex, wonderful intimate relationships, or a satisfying love life.So what do we do about this? How do we "fix" the loneliness epidemic?This is the first episode in a series that I will be doing on creative solutions and innovative ideas around not just how we think about relationships, but how we think about living. I don't mean that metaphorically, either; I mean our literal living environments.We've lived separately for too long. I believe it's time to bring the generations back together in meaningful ways, and have more FUN at home.---Work with usReady to go deeper than the podcast and take action? Jason and I can help you break old patterns and transform your sex & love life for good. To see if you're a fit for our flagship program, Pillars of Presence, book a call here. Start anytime. (https://evolutionary.men/apply/)---Mentioned on this episode:The Other Significant Others: Reimagining Life With Friendship at the Center by Rhaina Cohen

390: What is foreskin restoration? (ft. Bob Werner)

Why do you need to know about this?---Work with usReady to go deeper than the podcast and take action? Jason and I can help you break old patterns and transform your sex & love life for good. To see if you're a fit for our flagship program, Pillars of Presence, book a call here. Start anytime. (https://evolutionary.men/apply/)---Memorable quotes:“It’s a journey of healing; it’s a journey of growth; it’s a journey of restoration.”“Everyone ends up better … in so many different ways.”“Life truly is better with a foreskin!”“It’s a wonderful sense of wellbeing.”“The glans is an internal organ — it’s not designed to be exposed to nature, and when it is exposed 24/7, it has to protect itself.”“Some people report having whole-body orgasms!”“Once you have the foreskin, during intercourse that foreskin goes back and forth across the head of the penis and it makes ALL THE DIFFERENCE IN THE WORLD. There’s no more working so hard to get to orgasm.”“It turns intercourse into beauty.”“There are no surgical options because the skin on the penis is unique.”“There’s more sensitivity, so you’re not straining and working hard to get to orgasm.”“It really doesn’t take very much tension to do this.”“Every millimeter of skin you grow is going to bring you relief.”“It doesn’t matter what level you’re starting from; the benefits start accruing from the moment you reach down and start gently tugging.”“‘Welcome to the community and to your restoration journey.’”“When I told my urologist I was restoring my foreskin, I got this blank look.”“There is a way to fix this.”---Mentioned on this episode:DM 384: What's the impact of circumcision on a man? (ft. Michael Smith, Intactivist Educator)