How Married Are You?

Love vs Conviction: Should She Give Up Drinking for Marriage? #HMAY Ep. 283

In this video, we respond to a real question from a woman whose boyfriend, a church leader, told her he couldn't marry someone who drinks alcohol, even occasionally.Should she give up something she doesn’t personally believe is wrong in order to honor the man she loves and hopes to marry?Or is that the kind of change that must come from personal conviction, not relationship pressure?If you’ve ever wrestled with different convictions in a relationship, this conversation is for you.Drop your thoughts in the comments:Should someone change something like this for the person they love?Resources & LinksEmber mug Yvette Loves 🍵💍https://bit.ly/4lfn38iMentor Couple Wait List 🫂🖤https://forms.gle/VcUDRgf6km9kHWEK7Buy Girl Scout Cookies from Anaya 🍪💛https://digitalcookie.girlscouts.org/scout/anaya778725Release Rest Remain 📖✨https://a.co/d/ihBmSdOFather Yourself First 📘🔥https://www.amazon.com/Father-Yourself-First-Everything-Deserves/dp/1400252555Yvette’s Email List 💌🌿https://yvettehenry.com/join-the-listRelease Rest Remain Bible Reading Plan 🙏🏽📖https://www.bible.com/en/reading-plans/64646Premarital Advantage 💍🧠https://howmarriedareyoupodcast.mykajabi.com/offers/VAbsx8N2Black Men’s Meeting 🖤🗣️https://partiful.com/e/kuXEBUC7PHfydRmI3sz4?HMAY Amazon Storefront (affiliate) 🛒✨https://www.amazon.com/shop/howmarriedareyou?ref_=cm_sw_r_apin_aipsfshop_0EGMQR9KJ94D8YGCDMV7&language=en-USWAYS TO PARTNER WITH US: Get special access to things we’re working on, extra content from our fam, and more on Patreon: https://patreon.com/HMAYSupport us with a one-time gift through PayPal: www.paypal.me/HMAYpodcastCONNECT WITH US ON INSTAGRAM:HMAY Podcast: https://www.instagram.com/howmarriedareyou/Glen: https://www.Instagram.com/beleafmelYvette: https://www.Instagram.com/mrsmelaninChocolate Babes: https://www.instagram.com/chocolatebabies/WATCH BELEAF IN FATHERHOOD:https://www.youtube.com/c/BeleafInFatherhoodtv/Thank you so much for tuning into this episode of How Married Are You?! See you next week!

He Betrayed me but I Love Him! #HMAY Ep. 282

In episode 282 of @howmarriedareyou, a 30-year-old listener shares how @Beleafmel and @MrsMelanin helped her believe marriage was possible, after growing up surrounded by divorce and broken relationships. She did the work. Therapy. Self-help. Healing her anxious attachment. She became secure, confident, grounded.Then she met a man who felt “too good to be true.”Two and a half years later, after phone secrecy, dating apps, denials, flowers, apologies, more denials, fake Hinge profiles (yes, it gets real 👀), and a 20-minute silence before admitting he slept with someone else… everything finally came out. All the dates. All the girls. Even a trip. We talk about the pattern of confession without full truth. How some partners admit just enough to stop the bleeding. What betrayal trauma actually does to your body. And why finally knowing the truth can feel stabilizing, even when it shatters you.What would you do if your partner betrays you?Resources & LinksPatreon : https://patreon.com/HMAY?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLinkBuy Girl Scout Cookies from Anaya 🍪💛https://digitalcookie.girlscouts.org/scout/anaya778725Release Rest Remain 📖✨https://a.co/d/ihBmSdOFather Yourself First 📘🔥https://www.amazon.com/Father-Yourself-First-Everything-Deserves/dp/1400252555Yvette’s Email List 💌🌿https://yvettehenry.com/join-the-listRelease Rest Remain Bible Reading Plan 🙏🏽📖https://www.bible.com/en/reading-plans/64646Premarital Advantage 💍🧠https://howmarriedareyoupodcast.mykajabi.com/offers/VAbsx8N2Black Men’s Meeting 🖤🗣️ March 7th:https://partiful.com/e/4bCYni9dq1en4o8CwE4M?c=eIraQ-YAHMAY Amazon Storefront (affiliate) 🛒✨https://www.amazon.com/shop/howmarriedareyou?ref_=cm_sw_r_apin_aipsfshop_0EGMQR9KJ94D8YGCDMV7&language=en-USCONNECT WITH US ON INSTAGRAM:HMAY Podcast: https://www.instagram.com/howmarriedareyou/Glen: https://www.Instagram.com/beleafmelYvette: https://www.Instagram.com/mrsmelaninChocolate Babes: https://www.instagram.com/chocolatebabies/Frank the Puppet: https://www.Instagram.com/FrankPuppetYvette Unplugged Podcast: https://www.instagram.com/yvette_unplugged/WATCH BELEAF IN FATHERHOOD:https://www.youtube.com/c/BeleafInFatherhoodtv/Thank you so much for tuning into this episode of How Married Are You?! See you next week!

Perfectionist Husband vs “Just Do It” Wife #HMAY Ep. 281

What do you do when you and your spouse want the same outcome… but you can’t agree on the way to get there? 😩🤍In Episode 281, a newlywed writes in with a marriage tension that feels small at first… until it affects everything: perfection vs progress.She’s the type who believes action brings clarity. Even a “no” teaches you what you need for the next attempt. Her husband is the type who wants things to be perfect before moving forward because failure feels costly and overwhelming.The conflict shows up most clearly in their immigration process. After multiple denials, she wants to keep moving, adjusting, and re-submitting. But her husband wants to pause for months to make sure the next application is flawless… because the stakes are real.We talk about how fear can disguise itself as “I just want it done right,” when perfection is wisdom and when it becomes avoidance, and how couples can stay aligned even when they don’t agree. We also get into what it looks like to bring in expert help, stop turning everything into a tug-of-war, and learn how to hear what’s really underneath your spouse’s approach. 💬🧠Have you ever been the “let’s just move” person… married to someone who needs it to feel perfect first? 👀✨Resources & LinksBuy Girl Scout Cookies from Anaya 🍪💛https://digitalcookie.girlscouts.org/scout/anaya778725Release Rest Remain 📖✨https://a.co/d/ihBmSdOFather Yourself First 📘🔥https://www.amazon.com/Father-Yourself-First-Everything-Deserves/dp/1400252555Yvette’s Email List 💌🌿https://yvettehenry.com/join-the-listRelease Rest Remain Bible Reading Plan 🙏🏽📖https://www.bible.com/en/reading-plans/64646Premarital Advantage 💍🧠https://howmarriedareyoupodcast.mykajabi.com/offers/VAbsx8N2Black Men’s Meeting 🖤🗣️https://partiful.com/e/kuXEBUC7PHfydRmI3sz4?HMAY Amazon Storefront (affiliate) 🛒✨https://www.amazon.com/shop/howmarriedareyou?ref_=cm_sw_r_apin_aipsfshop_0EGMQR9KJ94D8YGCDMV7&language=en-US

He’s Rebuilding His Life After Divorce…Should He Stay Single? #HMAY Ep. 280

What do you do when you’re rebuilding your life after divorce… and wondering if you should do it alone? 💔➡️🏗️❤️In Episode 280, a recently divorced listener writes in asking a vulnerable question: should he focus entirely on rebuilding himself — financially, emotionally, and spiritually — or should he actively pursue a relationship with someone who can help him build his life alongside him? 🤔After separating in 2023 and finalizing his divorce in 2024, he’s been working nonstop to recover financially 💼. But now he’s wrestling with a deeper tension. Some people tell him to focus on his purpose and trust that the right person will come 🙏. Others point to stories of men whose wives helped shape and strengthen who they became. He’s wondering if it’s wise to stay focused on himself… or if partnership is part of the rebuilding process.We talk honestly about what healing after divorce really requires 🧠, why rebuilding your foundation matters before inviting someone else into your life 🧱, and the difference between needing someone to complete you versus finding someone who can refine and strengthen what already exists. We also explore the role of partnership in purpose, what it means to be a helper and be helped 🤝, and why self-development is not isolation — but preparation.Have you ever wrestled with whether to focus on becoming whole first… or trust that healing can happen alongside someone else? 💭Resources & LinksBuy Girl Scout Cookies from Anaya 🍪https://digitalcookie.girlscouts.org/scout/anaya778725Release Rest Remain 📚https://a.co/d/ihBmSdOFather Yourself First 📖https://www.amazon.com/Father-Yourself-First-Everything-Deserves/dp/1400252555The Man the Moment Demands by Jason Wilson 📘https://amzn.to/4rRKh6pYvette’s Email List ✉️https://yvettehenry.com/join-the-listRelease Rest Remain Bible Reading Plan 🙌https://www.bible.com/en/reading-plans/64646Premarital Advantage 💍https://howmarriedareyoupodcast.mykajabi.com/offers/VAbsx8N2Black Men’s Meeting 🖤https://partiful.com/e/kuXEBUC7PHfydRmI3sz4HMAY Amazon Storefront (affiliate) 🛒https://www.amazon.com/shop/howmarriedareyou?ref_=cm_sw_r_apin_aipsfshop_0EGMQR9KJ94D8YGCDMV7&language=en-US

My Fiancée Doesn’t Trust Me Around Other Women

What do you do when your partner’s “boundaries” start feeling like control?In Episode 279, a listener writes in about being engaged to a woman who reacts strongly anytime other women are around. On a group trip, she told him to keep his distance from one woman she believed was staring at him. When that same woman ended up sitting next to him in an Uber, his fiancée texted him to move his legs away from her. Later, after a group dinner where he made casual conversation, she told him he violated her boundaries just by speaking to her.He admits he has been dishonest in the past about women (though he says he has never physically cheated), and he understands that history has impacted trust. But now he feels anxious in public, avoids interactions with women altogether, and is wondering where the line is between respecting your partner’s boundaries and being managed by their insecurity.We talk about what boundaries actually are versus what control looks like, how trauma and betrayal can create hypervigilance, and why trust cannot be rebuilt through constant monitoring. We also get into shared responsibility in relationships, how to communicate about triggers without making your partner responsible for your internal turmoil, and why this has to be addressed before marriage, not after.Have you ever been in a relationship where “respect” started to feel like walking on eggshells?Resources & LinksRelease Rest Remainhttps://a.co/d/ihBmSdOFather Yourself Firsthttps://www.amazon.com/Father-Yourself-First-Everything-Deserves/dp/1400252555Yvette’s Email Listhttps://yvettehenry.com/join-the-listRelease Rest Remain Bible Reading Planhttps://www.bible.com/en/reading-plans/64646Black Men’s Meetinghttps://partiful.com/e/kuXEBUC7PHfydRmI3sz4?Premarital Advantagehttps://howmarriedareyoupodcast.mykajabi.com/offers/VAbsx8N2HMAY Amazon Storefront (affiliate)https://www.amazon.com/shop/howmarriedareyou?ref_=cm_sw_r_apin_aipsfshop_0EGMQR9KJ94D8YGCDMV7&language=en-US