Flying Free

The Christian Abuser's Favorite Emotional Abuse Weapon (And How to Neutralize It!) - Emotional Abuse 101 | Part 6 [361]

What is the weapon Christian abusers most commonly use?In this sixth installment of the Emotional Abuse 101 series, Natalie Hoffman talks about a subtle weapon many Christian men wield in emotionally abusive relationships: criticism. But not the obvious, name-calling type. This is the more insidious, underhanded kind that’s drenched in misogyny and spiritual distortion.If you've ever wondered why your husband criticizes you, even while appearing like a “good Christian man,” this episode will show you the truth behind the curtain. And it will help you take your power back.🔑 Key Takeaways:Criticism is not always loud: Subtle criticism such as eye rolls, dismissive sighs, mansplaining, and “just joking” jabs can be more damaging than overt name-calling.This weapon is cultural and spiritual: Christian men are often raised to believe that anything “feminine” is weak, emotional, and inferior. This deep-rooted belief forms the foundation of their contempt.The misogyny is systemic: From Sunday school to locker rooms, boys are programmed to equate masculinity with power and femininity with weakness.The wife becomes the target: Once married, that learned disdain manifests as chronic correction, condescension, and disregard.You are not responsible for fixing him: Understanding the root of his behavior doesn’t mean justifying it. You have a right to healing, boundaries, and truth.📒 Take a free Emotional Abuse Assessment by going to emotionalabusequiz.comI will also send you my weekly Freedom Notes Newsletter for Christian women in emotionally and spiritually abusive marriages.📌 Relevant Links and Resources:🎙️ Watch the rest of this Emotional Abuse 101 series (as it comes out) HERE. 💡 Join the Flying Free Kaleidoscope community — Get the education and support you need to reclaim your identity and heal.

How Emotional Abuse in Your Christian Marriage Impacts Your Spiritual Health - Emotional Abuse 101 | Part 5 [360]

Emotional abuse in a Christian marriage doesn't just damage your mental health. It corrodes your spiritual foundation until you can't tell the difference between God's voice and your abuser's voice anymore.🔑 Key Takeaways:Emotional abuse doesn’t just affect your mind and body. It wounds your soul.Natalie draws a powerful connection between emotional abuse and spiritual damage, especially for Christian women who’ve been taught not to trust themselves.When you’re conditioned to distrust your own inner knowing, spiritual confusion sets in. This leads to internal conflict, spiritual isolation, and the inability to differentiate between God's voice and the voice of your abuser.The church’s role often compounds the harm. Religious teachings that equate self-trust with rebellion against God cause many women to stay in abusive situations out of fear of divine punishment.You were never meant to worship at the altar of someone else’s control. God doesn’t ask you to sacrifice your voice, sanity, or safety. He offers freedom, not bondage.📚 Natalie Reads from Her Memoir: All the Scary Little GodsTimestamp 2:00–20:30Natalie reads Chapter 58: “Bible Counseling”, which recounts two devastating encounters with so-called “biblical counselors.” These counselors weaponized scripture to enforce submission and silence rather than support.Through deeply personal storytelling, she illustrates how spiritual guidance can become a vehicle for psychological and spiritual gaslighting.🎁 I want to give you a free gift. It’s the audio version of my book, All the Scary Little Gods. It’s a spiritual memoir about healing from religious trauma and toxic programming. You can listen to it FREE by going to scarylittlegods.com🎙️ Watch the rest of this Emotional Abuse 101 series (as it comes out) HERE. 🔗 Other Links and Resources Mentioned🧭 Free Resources & Support — Visit flyingfreenow.com📕 Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage — Order on Amazon  https://amzn.to/4o5FCM8💌 Join the Flying Free Kaleidoscope — Visit joinflyingfree.com

Why You Keep Second-Guessing Yourself in Your Christian Marriage (And How to Stop) Emotional Abuse 101 | Part 4 [359]

What happens when you're the only one trying in your marriage? When your partner seems indifferent, and you're the one praying, planning, reading, learning, bending, sacrificing only to be met with silence or worse, resistance?In this episode, Natalie peels back the layers of emotional and spiritual exhaustion that come from being the only emotionally invested person in a relationship. With grace, clarity, and a no-nonsense look at reality, she answers a powerful listener question: “If I’m the only one caring, what’s the point of staying?”🔑 Key Takeaways:One-sided effort isn’t love. If only one person is carrying the weight of emotional and relational labor, it’s not a partnership, it's a survival pattern.Control often disguises itself as passivity. Abusers don’t need to yell or hit to maintain power; many use silence, neglect, and apathy to keep you chasing connection.Spiritual bypassing keeps women trapped. Many Christian women are taught that leaving a cold or neglectful husband is rebellion against God. But that’s not what the Bible says, and it’s not what Jesus models.You can stop asking for crumbs. It’s okay to stop showing up for someone who consistently chooses not to show up for you.God isn’t asking you to abandon yourself. He's not honored by marriages that demand your silence, your sanity, or your soul. He's inviting you to freedom, not bondage.🎙️ Watch the rest of this Emotional Abuse 101 series (as it comes out) HERE. Get a free chapter of Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage: A Christian Woman’s Guide to Hidden Emotional and Spiritual Abuse by going to isitmebook.comEpisode quotes:“If you’re the only one working on the relationship, you’re not in a relationship. You’re in a slow death sentence, and it’s okay to want to live.”“Control isn’t always loud. Sometimes it’s a stone wall you beat your heart against, hoping it’ll soften.”“You don’t need your partner to validate your pain for it to be real. It already is.”“God doesn’t ask you to sacrifice your soul to prove your commitment.”

Emotional Abuse vs. Healthy Conflict in a Christian Marriage: How to Tell the Difference - Emotional Abuse 101 | Part 3 [358]

In this episode, I walk you through five crucial differences between a healthy Christian marriage and an emotionally abusive one.🔑 Key Takeaways:Healthy marriages = clarity, respect, and growthAbusive marriages = confusion, control, and punishmentIf you're constantly walking on eggshells, it's not normal. God never asked you to sacrifice your soul on the altar of someone else's entitlement.Read the full show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here🎙️ Watch the rest of this Emotional Abuse 101 series (as it comes out) HERE. Related Resources:Check out the first two parts of this eight-part series: “The 10 Most Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse in a Christian Marriage” and “The Art of Saying No: Setting Boundaries When You've Been Trained to Say Yes.” 

BONUS: An episode from my PRIVATE podcast about what it takes to change your life

In this end-of-the-year BONUS episode, I want to share one of my recent PRIVATE podcast episodes exclusively for members of the Flying Free Kaleidoscope only.  I also made an 8-minute video tour of the Flying Free Kaleidoscope on my phone. It will show you what the INSIDE of the Kaleidoscope looks like here at the end of 2025 and going into 2026. You can watch that on YouTube HERE. The price is going up on January 1, 2026, and I'd love to see you get in on the lower price if you can. Prices never go up for current members, so lock yourself in on the price we've had for five years while you've got the chance because it will never be this low again. (Currently $29/month or $290 for an entire year - but going up to $39/mo or $390/year starting January 1.)Learn more and complete your application HERE.