Trader Hoes

Juiced & Jacked

This week, the Hoes thought that they found one of TJ’s best-kept secrets in the refrigerated smoothies. But some secrets should never be told. They’re also blending in Evie’s new rap name, Katie’s fear of jacked-up babies, and the love story between bananas and nuts. In the cart: Organic Coconut SmoothieBanana & Almond Butter Protein SmoothieVanilla Almond Spiced Chai Protein SmoothieChocolate Almond Protein Smoothie

An Insult to Pizza

Can you believe i?, The Hoes are cooking! Ok technically, they’re just warming up frozen pizzas but the bar is extremely low these Hoes and apparently even lower for some of these Trader Joes pies. In the cart:Tarte au Brie et aux TomatesTarte d'Alsace with Ham, Onions, and GruyereBurrata, Prosciutto and Arugula FlatbreadBBQ Chicken Pizza

Noodle Units

This week, the Hoes are shaking this up with a few of Trader Joe's newer pre-made pasta salads. After removing the sauce packets from the tiny plastic containers, they also fit in the concept for a new crime-fighting pasta show for kids, why Katie could never commit a crime, and the Cucumber Wetness Spectrum.In the cart: Lemon Basil Pasta SaladChickpea Kale And Crispy Red Rice SaladPeanut Udon Noodle SaladKorean Style Bibim-Guksu

I Scream for A/C

It was 91 degrees in February and the Hoes are coping with some new frozen favorites from Trader Joe’s. If you love instant affagato, pistachio having its moment, super-sized macrons, and unpacking Katie’s pigeon trauma, then you’re in for a treat, Hoes. In the cart:2 Affogatos Vanilla Non-Dairy Frozen DessertsMacaron Ice Cream SandwichesItalian Pistachio & Fior di Latte Gelato Style Frozen DessertCalamansi & Mango Sorbet

Is It Car Cake?

This week, the Hoes are asking an age-old question: Is this a cake you can eat in your car? Not even childhood trauma is going to keep them from getting an answer as Katie and Evie try Trader Joe's mini sheet cakes for the first time. They're also mixing in getting cookie samples from Jeff(?), eating cake as an act of rebellion, and casting these cakes as bakers on the Great British Bake Off. In the cart: Toasted Coconut Mini Sheet CakeChantilly Cream Vanilla Bean Mini Sheet CakeDark Chocolate Mini Sheet Cake• ⁃ Cookies and Cream Mini Sheet Cake