SCP Archives

Situationally Comedic Persons #5: Hey, Gorgeous

"January 9th, 2026 12:46 pm. Multiple co-workers reported having the same dream as I did... A sort of... Speedo man... Just... Laying there... Menacingly... Breathing on you..." Transcript Patrons Feb 1 - 7 threejeffs., Hon1nbo, cody hicks, Wormdrake, nomad0070, Mothman, Zachary Jusino, Cory Stacy, Seth, Kree Accola, Creation_Lord, and Adealynn Cast & Crew SCP Archives was created by Pacific S. Obadiah & Jon Grilz "Situationally Comedic Persons" was written by Hannah Schooner & Giancarlo Herrera Kurt & Burt - Josh Rubino Janice - Kayla Temshiv Fren - Erika Sanderson Rodney - TJ Berry Holmwood - Jordan Cobb Supervisor 1 - Derrick Valen Supervisor 2 - Ashley Heather Quills Teddy - David Ault Secretary - Pacific S. Obadiah Operator - Hannah Schooner Mendoza - Rissa Montanez Mama Urt - Josh Rubino Reality TV Show Host - Bailey Wolfe Podcast Host - Fay Roberts Elevator - Tal Minear Speedo Man - Derrick Valen Telephone AI - Rebekah McLoughlin Art by Pacific S. Obadiah Theme Song & Original Music by Mattie roi Berger Dialogue Editing - Giancarlo Herrera & Hannah Schooner Sound Design - Hannah Schooner Directing by Giancarlo Herrera Showruning - Daisy McNamara Creative Director - Pacific S. Obadiah Executive Producer - Tom Owen Presented by Bloody FMwww.Bloody-Disgusting.comwww.SCParchives.com Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/scp_podStore: https://store.dftba.com/collections/scp-archivesInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/scp_pod/Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/scparchives.bsky.socialDiscord: https://discord.gg/tJEeNUzeZXTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@scppodYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/scparchivesNewsletter: https://pacificobadiah.com Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Situationally Comedic Persons #4: The Urts

"Burt and Kurt underwent the requisite training and security clearance and quickly became one of this site's greatest investments. Eventually, the Director cut down the entire Record and Information Management Specialists department down to just Burt and Kurt." Transcript Patrons Jan 22 - Jan 31 Rodney Brooks, LeafedFox, meli, MiniZuvy, Cat Holtz, XDWolfie, Non thapat, xGoblin, Stephanie Storm, LanceDraconfire, Karl Smyth, BubblyGreenBubbles, Claudia Alvarez, Wingman Wingo, and Carlie Cast & Crew SCP Archives was created by Pacific S. Obadiah & Jon Grilz "Situationally Comedic Persons" was written by Hannah Schooner & Giancarlo Herrera Kurt & Burt - Josh Rubino Janice - Kayla Temshiv Teddy - David Ault Fren - Erika Sanderson Rodney - TJ Berry Holmwood - Jordan Cobb Supervisor 1 - Derrick Valen Supervisor 2 - Ashley Heather Quills Educational Video Instructor - Stephen Indrisano Jack - Brandon P. Jenkins Interviewer - Marquiz Moore Employee 1 - Mattie roi Berger Mama Urt - Josh Rubino Little Timmy - Tal Minear Crowd of Children - Melissa Lusk, Tal Minear, and B. Narr   Art by Pacific S. Obadiah Theme Song & Original Music by Mattie roi Berger Dialogue Editing - Giancarlo Herrera & Hannah Schooner Sound Design - Hannah Schooner Directing by Giancarlo Herrera Showruning - Daisy McNamara Creative Director - Pacific S. Obadiah Executive Producer - Tom Owen Presented by Bloody FMwww.Bloody-Disgusting.comwww.SCParchives.com Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/scp_podStore: https://store.dftba.com/collections/scp-archivesInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/scp_pod/Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/scparchives.bsky.socialDiscord: https://discord.gg/tJEeNUzeZXTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@scppodYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/scparchivesNewsletter: https://pacificobadiah.com Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Situationally Comedic Persons #3: Janice S.

"This is not how this was supposed to go! Step one: go to college, check. Step two: graduate top of my class, check. Step three: go back to college and get my PHD, CHECK. Step four: get a high paying job in my field... NO CHECK!" Transcript Patrons Jan 15 - Jan 21 Glass, Richard Petty, Ashley Laabs, luki wojciech, Delta, Hazel, Paul Schwarz, Alicia Wilder, Robert Hayes, Nagata Tonikoza, Luke, Mikyle Gantz, ReliableSage328, Octavio, Matthew Oshamoko, and TCW! Cast & Crew SCP Archives was created by Pacific S. Obadiah & Jon Grilz "Situationally Comedic Persons" was written by Hannah Schooner & Giancarlo Herrera Janice - Kayla Temshiv Teddy - David Ault Fren - Erika Sanderson Rodney - TJ Berry Kurt & Burt - Josh Rubino Holmwood - Jordan Cobb Supervisor 1 - Derrick Valen Supervisor 2 - Ashley Heather Quills David - Chris Harris-Beechy Educational Video Instructor - Stephen Indrisano D-Class 1 - Mick Wheaton D-Class 2 - Isaiah Rothstein Chauffer - Rissa Montanez Dr. Elena - Hannah Schooner Reality TV Show Host - Bailey Wolfe Interviewer - Marquiz Moore D-12601 - Daisy McNamara D-12603 - Hannah Schooner D-12602 - Pacific S. Obadiah D-12605 - Giancarlo Herrera Art by Pacific S. Obadiah Theme Song & Original Music by Mattie Roi Berger Dialogue Editing - Giancarlo Herrera & Hannah Schooner Sound Design - Hannah Schooner Directing by Giancarlo Herrera Showruning - Daisy McNamara Creative Director - Pacific S. Obadiah Executive Producer - Tom Owen   Presented by Bloody FMwww.Bloody-Disgusting.comwww.SCParchives.com Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/scp_podStore: https://store.dftba.com/collections/scp-archivesInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/scp_pod/Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/scparchives.bsky.socialDiscord: https://discord.gg/tJEeNUzeZXTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@scppodYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/scparchivesNewsletter: https://pacificobadiah.com Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Situationally Comedic Persons #2: Fren M.

"Fren M. 62 year old Sanitation worker that's been with the Foundation for over 30 years. Bit of an unusual case. Previously employed by a community college on a night shift, the Foundation hired them on the spot after cleaning up a containment gone wrong. Having found the gruesome remnants on school grounds, they simply got to work without question. They didn't leave a single stain." Transcript Patrons Jan 8 - Jan 14 Isaac Buitron, Munnka Man, Donald Crosthwaite, Hyperion Orange, "...", Your_Local_Birate, and Jordan Barnett Cast & Crew SCP Archives was created by Pacific S. Obadiah & Jon Grilz "Situationally Comedic Persons" was written by Hannah Schooner & Giancarlo Herrera Fren - Erika Sanderson Rodney - TJ Berry Janice - Kayla Temshiv Kurt & Burt - Josh Rubino Holmwood - Jordan Cobb Supervisor 1 - Derrick Valen Supervisor 2 - Ashley Heather Quills Educational Video Instructor - Stephen Indrisano Podcast Host - Fay Roberts D-Class 1 - Mick Wheaton D-Class 2 - Isaiah Rothstein Elevator - Tal Minear Employee 1 - Mattie roi Berger Office Worker 1 - Shelby Novak Office Worker 2 - Mike Fielding Office Worker 3 - Chris Harris-Beechy Scientist 1 - Pacific S. Obadiah Scientist 2 - B. Narr Security Guard - Damon Alums Research Assistant - Daisy McNamara Art by Pacific S. Obadiah Theme Song & Original Music by Mattie Roi Berger Dialogue Editing - Giancarlo Herrera & Hannah Schooner Sound Design - Hannah Schooner Directing by Giancarlo Herrera Showruning - Daisy McNamara Creative Director - Pacific S. Obadiah Executive Producer - Tom Owen   Presented by Bloody FMwww.Bloody-Disgusting.comwww.SCParchives.com Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/scp_podStore: https://store.dftba.com/collections/scp-archivesInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/scp_pod/Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/scparchives.bsky.socialDiscord: https://discord.gg/tJEeNUzeZXTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@scppodYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/scparchivesNewsletter: https://pacificobadiah.com Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Situationally Comedic Persons #1: Orientation

"Hello! My name is Rodney and today I've got my famous Weekend Bowl for your tasting pleasure." Transcript Patrons Jan 1 - Jan 7 Max Ziel, Niffer, Spooki, Nova, Braden Lewis, Jeremy McGeown, Skye_404, Alec, Kristopher Burgess, Soren Watson, RedneckGamer, Wicked Kilo, Jaiden, Punkie Boozer, TJReds, and Julia! Cast & Crew "Situationally Comedic Persons" was written by Hannah Schooner & Giancarlo Herrera Rodney - TJ Berry Fren - Erika Sanderson Janice - Kayla Temshiv Kurt & Burt - Josh Rubino Holmwood - Jordan Cobb Supervisor 1 - Derrick Valen Supervisor 2 - Ashley Heather Quills Jack - Brandon P Jenkins David - Chris Harris-Beechey Orientation Video - Stephen Indrisano D-12601 - Daisy McNamara D-12602 - Pacific S. Obadiah D-12603 - Hannah Schooner D-12605 - Giancarlo Herrera Rodney's Mom - Elissa Park   Art by Pacific S. Obadiah Theme Song & Original Music by Mattie roi Berger Dialogue Editing - Giancarlo Herrera & Hannah Schooner Sound Design - Hannah Schooner Directing by Giancarlo Herrera Showruning - Daisy McNamara Creative Director - Pacific S. Obadiah Executive Producer - Tom Owen Presented by Bloody FMwww.Bloody-Disgusting.comwww.SCParchives.com Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/scp_podStore: https://store.dftba.com/collections/scp-archivesInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/scp_pod/Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/scparchives.bsky.socialDiscord: https://discord.gg/tJEeNUzeZXTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@scppodYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/scparchivesNewsletter: https://pacificobadiah.com Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.