The One Inside: An Internal Family Systems (IFS) podcast

Externalizing IFS for Neurodivergence and Complex Trauma with Irina Diyankova

Today I welcome Irina Diyankova back to the podcast. Her last episode,  Is It Trauma or Neurodivergence?  was one of our most popular.  This time we explore what happens when "going inside" during an IFS session becomes hard for clients. She finds this is especially true with neurodivergent and C-PTSD clients.  Irina shares why externalization can be so helpful in these cases. Instead of relying only on what's happening internally, bringing things outside, like mapping, speaking out loud, connecting visually or relationally, really help. We also talk about how IFS isn't a cookie-cutter model. We all respond differently, and part of the work is noticing what helps you stay engaged and attuned to a particular client's system. One of my favorite segments was hearing her talk about building community inside with part-to-part relationships. This is where we help parts notice each other, listen, and begin to relate differently. These part-to-part connections are just as important in the healing process as Self-to-part. We also talk about slowing things down in session, and how that's a small-but-critical opportunity for healing. Saying, "what you just said is important," or "tell me more about that." For many people, that kind of attention wasn't there growing up. It can feel unfamiliar, and also really supportive. Later in the conversation, Irina shares about her experience with cancer, being in remission, and what it's been like to be with her system in the process. She talks about holding different parts at the same time, and relating to cancer not as something to fight, but something to understand. Don't miss my short extended interview with Irina over on Substack, where she shares what's giving her hope lately.  Takeaways from this episode: • Externalizing can make parts work more accessible when staying inside feels hard • IFS isn't one-size-fits-all; adjust based on what you need • Slowing down and naming something as important can help people feel seen • "Community inside" means parts noticing and relating to each other • When Self isn't available, part-to-part connection still helps • Orienting parts to the present can reduce overwhelm • What helps you stay engaged when going inside feels hard? Links: Medium article: Dancing With Cancer Using IFS with Complex Trauma Clients workshop About Irina Diyankova Irina Diyankova, Ph.D., is a licensed psychologist, certified IFS therapist, Approved IFS Clinical Consultant, and a Co-Lead Trainer. She has private practice in Knoxville, TN, USA where she specializes in working with complex trauma in adults and adolescents and intersection of trauma and neurodifferences. Irina also maintains consultation practice where she offers individual and group consultation to the IFS therapists and those who are in the process of learning IFS. Being born and raised in Russia, Irina has a special interest in applying IFS across cultures, as well as working with cultural dynamics and burdens. Irina has completed all three levels of IFS training. SHe has also conducted multiple IFS workshops and consultation groups in the US and Russia. She is very passionate and excited about IFS Model and loves sharing it with other therapists and human services professionals. In her leisure time she loves practicing yoga, hiking, traveling, reading and writing.  You can learn more about her work at dr-irina.com Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by Therapy Training Boston. Therapy Training Boston offers live, in-person, and online workshops, plus consultation for therapists and other helping professionals, designed to support you as a whole person while satisfying your CE requirements. All of their offerings are taught with an eye toward context, power, and relational justice, and draw on the family systems theories and best practices that shaped the IFS model. They also offer an Intensive Certificate Program in Couples and Family Therapy to help you build confidence and capacity in community.  About The One Inside I started this podcast to help spread IFS out into the world and make the model more accessible to everyone. Seven years later, that's still at the heart of all we do.  Join The One Inside Substack community for bonus conversations, extended interviews, meditations, and more. Find Self-Led merch at The One Inside store. Listen to episodes and watch clips on YouTube. Follow me on Instagram @ifstammy or on Facebook at The One Inside with Tammy Sollenberger. I co-create The One Inside with Jeff Schrum, a Level 2 IFS practitioner and coach. Resources New to IFS? My book, The One Inside: Thirty Days to Your Authentic Self, is a great place to start. Want a free meditation? Sign up for my email list and get "Get to Know a Should Part" right away. Sponsorship Want to sponsor an episode of The One Inside? Email Tammy. 

IFS for Everyday Life with Joanna Curry-Sartori

On today's episode, I talk with Joanna Curry-Sartori, founder of the Self-Leadership Collaborative and author of The Self-Led Educator. We explore this idea of how to bring IFS into everyday life, to invite more Self Energy into our conversations and interactions.  Joanna teaches us her PAUSE model, a five-step process to help you slow things down and notice what's happening inside before you respond. Sometimes it's in moments where you can feel yourself starting to react, or a conversation begins to shift. Instead of pushing through, you pause, get curious about your parts, and then return to the interaction. In This Episode We Talk About: • How to bring IFS into everyday moments • PAUSE as a way to slow down and notice what's happening inside • Using IFS in relationships, parenting, and classrooms • How to stay with your parts instead of reacting • What do you notice in yourself right before you react? • What can change when you turn inward first About Joanna Curry-Sartori Joanna Curry-Sartori, LMFT, is the Founder and President of the Self-Leadership Collaborative. She leads work focused on bringing Internal Family Systems into everyday life—at home, at work, in schools, and in communities. With over twenty years of experience working with young people, educators, parents, and community leaders, her work centers on helping people access and live from Self leadership together. Joanna is the author of The Self-Led Educator: An IFS Guide to Create Calm, Compassionate, and Confident Learning Communities. Learn more at www.selfleadershipcollaborative.com Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by Souliology. Souliology offers retreats and immersive learning experiences for IFS professionals, many led by IFS Senior Lead Trainers and eligible for continuing education credits. Their programs support deep professional and personal growth, offering space to step away from the demands of daily life so you can return to your practice more present and resourced for the clients you serve. Souliology: Where growth meets depth. Learn more at souliology.com About The One Inside I started this podcast to help spread IFS out into the world and make the model more accessible to everyone. Seven years later, that's still at the heart of all we do.  Join The One Inside Substack community for bonus conversations, extended interviews, meditations, and more. Find Self-Led merch at The One Inside store. Listen to episodes and watch clips on YouTube. Follow me on Instagram @ifstammy or on Facebook at The One Inside with Tammy Sollenberger. I co-create The One Inside with Jeff Schrum, a Level 2 IFS practitioner and coach. Resources New to IFS? My book, The One Inside: Thirty Days to Your Authentic Self, is a great place to start. Want a free meditation? Sign up for my email list and get "Get to Know a Should Part" right away. Sponsorship Want to sponsor an episode of The One Inside? Email Tammy. 

An Army of Healers with Nitsan Joy Gordon

On today's episode I welcome Nitsan Joy Gordon, a dance movement therapist, IFS practitioner, and peacebuilder who lives in Israel. Nitsan shares about growing up in Israel, living near the border, and what it's like to live in a place where war and trauma have been part of daily life for generations. She also tells the story of how Internal Family Systems changed her own life. A powerful experience at Esalen with Dick Schwartz inspired her to use IFS in her work back home. Nitsan leads Together Beyond Words, an organization bringing Israelis and Palestinians together to transform pain through deep listening and connection. Her work is guided by the belief that pain that is not transformed is transmitted. After the attacks of October 7 and the immense grief and trauma that followed, Nitsan realized the need for healing had grown beyond what her organization had been doing. Today nearly 80 volunteers are offering ongoing support, and dozens of groups have been created where Israelis and Palestinians can process trauma, grief, and fear together. As you listen, I invite you to notice your own parts. What comes up for you as you hear these stories? What do you feel in your body? For me, this conversation was a reminder of the power of curiosity, one-on-one connection, and the courage it takes to stay present and open in our divided world. In This Episode We Talk About: • What it's like living in Israel today. • Nitsan's organization Together Beyond Words, which brings Israelis and Palestinians together to transform pain through shared healing. • The idea that "pain that is not transformed is transmitted." • A powerful IFS session she had with Dick Schwartz. • How the events of October 7 changed her work. • Why people need separate spaces to grieve before they can reunite. • When she realized the level of trauma requires an "army of healers." • How the Healing for Peace initiative grew from a handful of volunteers to nearly 80. • Why facilitators working in conflict zones are learning IFS tools like unblending and working with polarizations. About Nitsan Joy Gordon Nitsan Joy Gordon is a Dance/Movement Therapist, IFS therapist, and peacebuilder who has been working in Israel/Palestine for over three decades. Her work lives at the meeting point of movement, deep listening, and compassionate presence, creating spaces where pain shaped by conflict can be felt, witnessed, and transformed. She is the author of Together Beyond Words: Women on a Quest for Peace in the Middle East and the initiator of Army of Healers, an offering of safe spaces to feel and heal across deep divides. Learn more at: Together Beyond Words. About The One Inside I started this podcast to help spread IFS out into the world and make the model more accessible to everyone. Seven years later, that's still at the heart of all we do.  Join The One Inside Substack community for bonus conversations, extended interviews, meditations, and more. Find Self-Led merch at The One Inside store. Listen to episodes and watch clips on YouTube. Follow me on Instagram @ifstammy or on Facebook at The One Inside with Tammy Sollenberger. I co-create The One Inside with Jeff Schrum, a Level 2 IFS practitioner and coach. Resources New to IFS? My book, The One Inside: Thirty Days to Your Authentic Self, is a great place to start. Want a free meditation? Sign up for my email list and get "Get to Know a Should Part" right away. Sponsorship Want to sponsor an episode of The One Inside? Email Tammy. 

Are You Mad At Me? with Meg Josephson

On today's episode I welcome psychotherapist and author Meg Josephson to the podcast. Her book Are You Mad at Me? names something so many of us feel but rarely say out loud: Did I do something wrong? Are you mad at me? Meg and I talk about the fawn response, people-pleasing, and the parts of us that learned early on to stay ahead of conflict. We explore how "being nice" can disconnect us from ourselves, why grief and anger are essential to healing, and how mindfulness helps us slow down enough to notice what's really happening inside. If you've ever swallowed your needs to keep the peace, felt resentful after saying yes, or worried that one mistake could cost you connection, our conversation will resonate. We Explore: • Why "Are you mad at me?" isn't really a question, but a feeling. • The difference between being nice and being compassionate. • How grief challenges the hope that if we try harder, we'll finally be seen. • Small corrective experiences that help our parts learn we're actually safe. Here's a link to the workshop she mentioned in the episode. About Meg Josephson Meg Josephson, LCSW, is a licensed psychotherapist and the author of the New York Times bestselling book Are You Mad at Me?, which has been translated into over 20 languages. In her private practice, she specializes in trauma-informed care through a mindfulness-based, compassion-focused lens. She holds a Master of Social Work from Columbia University. Episode Sponsor: Cape Cod Institute Deepen your IFS practice at the Cape Cod Institute this summer, now in its 46th year. Choose from 38 half-day courses, either in person on Cape Cod or live online. Spend your mornings learning, and your afternoons applying insights, connecting with colleagues, or exploring the Cape. If you use IFS, this is a rare opportunity to learn directly from the people shaping the model. A dedicated IFS Week features Richard Schwartz and IFS practitioners teaching couples work, addictive processes, leadership, disordered eating, and psychedelic-assisted psychotherapy. Learn more and register at cape.org, and use code theoneinside2026 for $50 off. About The One Inside I started this podcast to help spread IFS out into the world and make the model more accessible to everyone. Seven years later, that's still at the heart of all we do.  Join The One Inside Substack community for bonus conversations, extended interviews, meditations, and more. Find Self-Led merch at The One Inside store. Listen to episodes and watch clips on YouTube. Follow me on Instagram @ifstammy or on Facebook at The One Inside with Tammy Sollenberger. I co-create The One Inside with Jeff Schrum, a Level 2 IFS practitioner and coach. Resources New to IFS? My book, The One Inside: Thirty Days to Your Authentic Self, is a great place to start. Want a free meditation? Sign up for my email list and get "Get to Know a Should Part" right away. Sponsorship Want to sponsor an episode of The One Inside? Email Tammy. 

Integrating IFS and Listening Therapies with Marcella Cox

In today's episode, I welcome my friend Marcella Cox back to the podcast. Marcella is a certified IFS therapist, approved consultant, and somatic IFS assistant trainer. She's also a certified Safe and Sound Protocol (SSP) and Rest and Restore provider, and the lead author of the new guidelines for integrating IFS with these listening therapies. We talk about: The basics of polyvagal theory How our nervous system states impact our parts Why co-regulation is central to healing The difference between SSP (connection to others) and Rest and Restore (connection to Self) How listening therapies can support safety in the body and allow more Self Energy to emerge I also share my own experience trying SSP with Marcella. I experienced some surprising physical shifts and insights that came up after a few short listening sessions. If you're curious about nervous system regulation and how it can deepen your IFS work, I think you'll really appreciate this conversation. About Marcella Cox Marcella Cox, LMFT, is a therapist, author, and presenter devoted to exploring the intersection of embodiment, trauma healing, and eating disorder recovery. She is a Level 3 Certified IFS Therapist, an Approved IFS Clinical Consultant, and an Assistant Trainer for Somatic IFS, the model developed by Susan McConnell. She provides consultation and leads workshops, trainings, and retreats for professionals on IFS for disordered eating, Somatic IFS, and integrating IFS with the Safe & Sound Protocol and is the lead author of the IFS and Listening Therapies (Safe and Sound Protocol and Rest and Restore Protocol) Combined Delivery Guidelines, published through Unyte in January 2026. Marcella is the founder and executive director of Kindful Body, which provides online therapy and nutrition counseling for eating and body concerns in California. She is also the co-founder of the IFS Consultation Collective, offering weekly consultation with IFS lead trainers.  To learn more about combining IFS and Unyte's listening therapies: https://integratedlistening.com/resources/ifs-and-listening-therapies/ Marcella's SSP & IFS groups: https://www.kindfulbody.com/somatic-ifs-and-ssp-group/ Sign up for Marcella's newsletter to find out about upcoming offerings Kindful Body on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/kindfulbody/ Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by Therapy Training Boston. Therapy Training Boston offers live, in-person, and online workshops, plus consultation for therapists and other helping professionals, designed to support you as a whole person while satisfying your CE requirements. All of their offerings are taught with an eye toward context, power, and relational justice, and draw on the family systems theories and best practices that shaped the IFS model. They also offer an Intensive Certificate Program in Couples and Family Therapy to help you build confidence and capacity in community.  About The One Inside I started this podcast to help spread IFS out into the world and make the model more accessible to everyone. Seven years later, that's still at the heart of all we do.  Join The One Inside Substack community for bonus conversations, extended interviews, meditations, and more. Find Self-Led merch at The One Inside store. Listen to episodes and watch clips on YouTube. Follow me on Instagram @ifstammy or on Facebook at The One Inside with Tammy Sollenberger. I co-create The One Inside with Jeff Schrum, a Level 2 IFS practitioner and coach. Resources New to IFS? My book, The One Inside: Thirty Days to Your Authentic Self, is a great place to start. Want a free meditation? Sign up for my email list and get "Get to Know a Should Part" right away. Sponsorship Want to sponsor an episode of The One Inside? Email Tammy.