The Body Love Binge - Eating Disorder Recovery Podcast

Why Breath Work Made My Anxiety Worse: Finding the Right Somatic Practice with Beverly Atkins

Beverly Atkins is the founder of pauseture, a mobile app that brings the Feldenkrais method, one of the most powerful and least known somatic practices in the world, to people who need it. She stumbled into it after putting her back out and not being able to walk upright for three weeks. What she found changed not just her back, but her relationship with her body, her food, her emotions, and her entire nervous system.I have been using the app myself and I cannot recommend it enough. So we sat down to talk about all of it.This episode is for you if:You feel disconnected from your body and live mostly in your headYou have tried meditation or breath work and it made your anxiety worse, not betterYou are in recovery and need something gentle to replace compulsive exerciseYou carry tension, chronic pain or bracing in your body that nothing seems to shiftYou want to understand how stored trauma shows up physically and how movement can release itYou are curious about somatic healing but don't know where to startIn this episode, we cover:✨ Beverly's personal story of body hatred, extreme exercise, back injury and how she accidentally found the Feldenkrais method✨ What the Feldenkrais method actually is, and why it is so different from yoga, pilates or conventional exercise✨ Why the lessons ask you to close your eyes, go slowly and stop comparing yourself to anyone else✨ How 24 days of gentle movement lessons changed Beverly's relationship with food at her calorie-abundant workplace✨ Why Beverly stopped working out entirely for 18 months and what happened when she returned to movement✨ Why traditional meditation and breath work made Beverly's anxiety worse, and why movement meditation worked instead✨ How the method builds neuroplasticity and rewires habitual patterns in the brain✨ Why the nervous system must feel safe before it can learn anything new✨ The pelvis, trauma and bracing: what Beverly witnessed in her private practice with clients who had experienced sexual abuse✨ Interoception and proprioception: noticing how you feel inside your body and how you fit in the world around you✨ How this work can support body image and body dysmorphia by helping you sense your body accurately rather than just see it✨ Why going smaller and slower in the lessons is where the most profound change happens✨ How finding choice in movement quietly creates choice in every other area of life✨ How to access the app, the free trial and how to find a Feldenkrais practitioner near youPowerful quotes from the episode:💬 "The only thing permanent about our behaviour is our belief that it is."💬 "Instead of judging yourself for falling back into an old pattern, just say: that's interesting. That's my old pattern. And now I have a choice."💬 "I chose this food because of how it made me feel, not how it was going to make me look. That shift changed everything."💬 "When we let go of judgment of ourselves, something profound happens. We start to meet other people, and life itself, with that same curiosity."💬 "Your nervous system is not in a learning mode if it does not feel safe. Safety comes first. Always."If you have been searching for something gentle, something that meets your nervous system exactly where it is without forcing or fixing, this might be it. I found it genuinely life-changing and I think you might too.You can find the app by searching pauseture in your app store. There is a seven day free trial so you can experience it for yourself before committing to anything.Pelvic mobility and its connection to back, shoulder, neck, and jaw pain: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4yYMqCwZrrcMuch love. 💛💙 Join my FREE support group: https://victoriakleinsman.com/free-support-group💙 Free trial in The Freedom Collective: https://victoriakleinsman.com/coaching💙 Work with me 1:1: https://victoriakleinsman.com/1-1-coaching💙 Become a coach: https://victoriakleinsman.com/become-a-coach

“But I had a happy childhood…”

"But I Had a Happy Childhood": Why Your Eating Disorder Still Makes Complete SenseThis one comes up with almost every single person I work with.But Victoria, I had a happy childhood. My parents loved me. I don't have any trauma. So why do I have an eating disorder?This episode is my answer. Because trauma is not only what happened to you. Trauma is also what didn't happen to you. The absence of the big stuff does not mean your emotional needs were met. And unmet emotional needs in childhood are trauma, just not the kind that gets talked about enough.This episode is for you if:You have always said "but I had a happy childhood" and wondered why that hasn't explained or healed thingsYou feel like you have no right to struggle because nothing that bad happened to youYou have done the therapy, the journaling, the work, and still feel it in your bodyYou want to understand why your eating disorder was created in the first placeYou are ready to grieve what you didn't get, without blame, but with truthIn this episode, we cover:✨ Why trauma is not only what happened to you, it is also what didn't happen to you✨ How unmet emotional needs in childhood create the same nervous system wounds as more obvious trauma✨ What a "happy childhood" can actually look like beneath the surface, and what it communicates to a developing nervous system✨ Being sent to your room when upset, and what that taught you about big emotions✨ How early body shame can begin long before magazines or social media✨ Early sleep separation and why your nervous system may have been in low-level survival mode from the very beginning✨ Enmeshment and codependency: what it looks like to grow up not knowing where you end and your parent begins✨ Erika Commissar's research on the first three years of life and why it matters so much for eating disorder recovery✨ Why the myth of quality over quantity time does not hold up for babies and toddlers✨ Why talk therapy alone often cannot reach wounds that formed before you had words✨ Four practical things you can begin with: permission to grieve, somatic work, writing to your younger self, and understanding the eating disorder as a messenger rather than an enemy✨ Victoria answers a listener question from someone who is pregnant and exhausted by the fightPowerful quotes from the episode:💬 "Trauma is not the event itself. It is the wound that the absence of what should have been there leaves inside of you."💬 "Your eating disorder was not a malfunction. It was an incredibly intelligent adaptation."💬 "A child doesn't think my parents are struggling. A child thinks there must be something wrong with me."💬 "You can spend years understanding it intellectually and still feel it in your body like it is the most real thing in the world. Because the body keeps the score."💬 "If you keep telling yourself you had a happy childhood and there is nothing to heal, you are leaving your inner child out in the cold. She is in there. She has always been in there."If any of this is landing in your body rather than just your head, that is the work beginning. She has been waiting. And you can go back for her now.Much love. 💛💙 Join my FREE support group: https://victoriakleinsman.com/free-support-group💙 Free trial in The Freedom Collective: https://victoriakleinsman.com/coaching💙 Work with me 1:1: https://victoriakleinsman.com/1-1-coaching💙 Become a coach: https://victoriakleinsman.com/become-a-coach

The Body Never Lies With Allison Pagano

Healing Through Movement: Embodied Dance, Trauma & Reclaiming Your Body with Allison PaganoThis conversation goes somewhere unexpected and beautiful.Allison Pagano is the creator of Embodied Dance, a body of work she accidentally built over 25 years that uses dance and movement as a healing art. She leads teacher trainings, works with clients one-to-one, and has spent decades helping people reconnect to their body's truth and reclaim their power from the inside out. She also has her own deeply personal story of recovery, which is where all of this began.We talk about how the body stores what the mind cannot name, why being witnessed in raw vulnerability is one of the most profound forms of healing, and what it looks like to turn your emotions over to the body and let it lead.This episode is for you if:You feel disconnected from your body and live mostly in your headYou have emotions that feel too big, too scary or completely inaccessibleYou've done mindset work but sense there is something deeper that hasn't shifted yetYou struggle with rage, grief or fear and have no idea how to express them safelyYou want to understand how trauma is stored in the body and how movement can release itYou have never danced in your life and wonder if any of this could possibly be for youIn this episode, we cover:✨ How Allison accidentally created Embodied Dance while in the middle of her own eating disorder recovery✨ The moment of being witnessed in raw vulnerability that changed everything for her✨ How lineage pain, trauma passed down through generations, shows up in our own bodies✨ The process of following emotion as a thread through the body, from activation to full expression✨ Why you do not need to know where something came from to begin healing it✨ Pre-verbal trauma and how the body holds memories the mind cannot access✨ How to begin if you are completely disconnected and cannot feel anything at all✨ Rage as a power reclamation: why owning your anger gives you access to more of everything✨ What to do when you cannot physically express an emotion in the moment✨ Why the cup that holds your grief also holds your joy: feeling more of one opens you to more of everything✨ Victoria's mirror work story: what started as rage led to a memory that had nothing to do with her body at all✨ How creating new movement qualities rewires the brain through neuroplasticity✨ Why you need absolutely no dance experience to benefit from this workPowerful quotes from the episode:💬 "The body never lies. No matter what a person is saying, their body is always telling the truth."💬 "On the other side of doing this work is everything you ever wanted: safety, peace, and feeling at home in yourself."💬 "When you deepen into the rage or the grief, you get back ten times your aliveness, ten times your joy, ten times your pleasure."💬 "Your body holds all your tender secrets. It is your greatest guide. We just have to learn how to access it."💬 "There is a way out. It is not a life sentence. On the other side is a really wonderful way of being in the world, being in your body."If you have ever felt at war with your body, cut off from your emotions, or like there is something stuck that words and thinking cannot reach, this episode is for you. The body has been holding it all, waiting for you to come back to it. And it is never too late to start.Much love. 💛💙 Join my FREE support group: https://victoriakleinsman.com/free-support-group/💙 Free trial Freedom Collective: https://victoriakleinsman.com/coaching/💙 Work with me 1:1: https://victoriakleinsman.com/1-1-coaching/💙 Follow me on Instagram @victoriakleinsmanofficial💙 Become a coach: https://victoriakleinsman.com/become-a-coach/

The control paradox - Why letting go is your only path to freedom

This one is a big one, my love. Stay with me.I start this episode by answering a question from the wonderful Heather, who asks what to do when thinness feels like the only thing that makes her feel powerful, and why she still isn't surrendering yet. It's such an honest, courageous question, and I wanted to give it the real answer it deserves before diving into today's main topic: the control paradox.Because here's the thing your eating disorder brain is not going to want to hear. The goal of recovery is not to be in control around food. The goal is to let go of control entirely. Control and freedom are not the same thing. They are opposites. And you cannot control your way to the freedom you are desperately seeking.This episode is for you if:You feel like control is the only thing keeping you safeYou know the eating disorder is making you miserable but cannot imagine letting goYou believe that if you let go, you will never stop eating or will gain weight foreverYou have tried to find a middle ground, a way to control just a little bit lessYou feel powerful when you're thin and terrified of what you'll lose if you recoverYou are stuck in quasi recovery and deep down you know itYou want to understand what true food freedom actually looks and feels like from the insideIn this episode, we cover:✨ Heather's question: what to do when thinness feels like your only source of power, and why the answer is always the deeper work✨ The difference between real power and external validation dressed up as power✨ Why you developed the eating disorder in the first place, and why it was never your fault✨ The crucial difference between control and choice, and why you cannot have genuine choice while you are still controlling✨ Why every form of disordered eating is an attempt at control, and why no amount of it will ever be enough✨ What actually happens in your nervous system when you are controlling food versus when you let go✨ Foods on a pedestal: why forbidden foods have power over you, and how unconditional permission removes that power✨ The four phases of letting go: the fear and extreme hunger, habituation, body trust, and freedom✨ Why your body has a natural set point and what happens when you finally get out of its way✨ Soul self versus suppressed self: which one is running the show around food right now✨ Practical steps to start letting go of control, even when it feels absolutely terrifying✨ What life genuinely looks like when you are living in food freedomPowerful quotes from the episode:💬 "The control that felt empowering became exhausting. The rules that felt safe became suffocating. You were trying to control your way to freedom, but control and freedom are literally opposites."💬 "You cannot control your way backwards. You can only heal your way forwards."💬 "When you are controlling, the question is: am I allowed to have this? When you are free, the question is: do I want this? One comes from fear. The other comes from trust."💬 "The opposite of control is not out of control. The opposite of control is freedom."💬 "You have spent long enough trying to control your way to freedom. It is time to take the actual path. Surrender. Trust. Let go."Freedom is waiting for you on the other side of control. Much love. 💛💙 Join my FREE support group: https://victoriakleinsman.com/free-support-group/💙 Free trial group coaching: https://victoriakleinsman.com/coaching/💙 Work with me 1:1: https://victoriakleinsman.com/1-1-coaching/💙 Follow me on Instagram @victoriakleinsmanofficial💙 Become a coach: https://victoriakleinsman.com/become-a-coach/

All things menopause, HRT, anxiety & ED with Robyn Kievit

This conversation is one I've been wanting to have for a long time.I invited Robyn Kievit onto the podcast because she is doing something genuinely rare. She is the first dietician to become a nurse practitioner, she specialises in eating disorders, disordered eating and body image, and over the past several years she has become deeply educated in hormone therapy and perimenopause. She is one of very few clinicians in the world looking at all of this together, as one whole picture. And that matters enormously for the women I work with.We talk about what perimenopause actually feels like, why the hormonal shifts of this life phase can cause eating disorder symptoms to surge, what hormone therapy is and who it might help, and why so many women are being dismissed by their doctors when they deserve so much better. We also talk about body image, aging, grief, and what it means to enter this next season of life with compassion rather than resistance.This episode is for you if:You're in perimenopause or approaching it and want to understand what's actually happening in your bodyYour anxiety, depression or eating disorder symptoms have surged and you don't know whyYou've been dismissed by a doctor and told it's too early to seek supportYou have a history of an eating disorder and want to understand how that intersects with hormonal changesYou're struggling with body image as your body changes with ageYou want to know your options, natural, hormonal, and otherwise, for supporting yourself through this transitionYou believe, like I do, that you don't have to just white-knuckle your way through thisIn this episode, we cover:✨ The signs of perimenopause that often get missed or dismissed, and why they matter✨ How hormonal changes affect mood, sleep, cognition and anxiety in ways that are genuinely physiological, not just in your head✨ Why anxiety and depression can surge during perimenopause, especially if you have a history of either✨ The HPA and HPO axes explained in plain English, and why they're so central to how you feel during this transition✨ What hormone therapy actually is, who it can help, and what the current guidance really says✨ Why birth control pills and IUDs are considered hormone therapy, and what that means for you✨ The enormous gap in clinical education around eating disorders and menopause, and why Robyn created her course to address it✨ How to advocate for yourself if you're being dismissed by a doctor✨ Why bone health and cardiovascular health make hormonal support even more important for women with eating disorder histories✨ The body image and grief piece of aging, and why our bodies changing is not something to be corrected✨ What it means to enter the archetype of the crone, the wise woman, with self-compassion rather than fear✨ Why you are allowed to ask not to be weighed at a medical appointment✨ Robyn's course for clinicians and why it existsPowerful quotes from the episode:💬 "I just wasn't feeling like myself. That is the number one thing women say when perimenopause begins, and it deserves to be taken seriously, not dismissed."💬 "We are at the mercy of our hormones in some ways, and that is not a weakness. It's physiology. The question is what tools do we have to support ourselves through it."💬 "Growing old is a gift. Every line on your face is a line of a life lived, smiled in, cried in. A body well lived in."💬 "Our bodies change purposefully. The goal isn't to fight that. It's to find solutions that help us feel well within it."💙 Join my FREE support group: https://victoriakleinsman.com/free-support-group/💙 Free trial group coaching: https://victoriakleinsman.com/coaching/💙 Work with me 1:1: https://victoriakleinsman.com/1-1-coaching/💙 Follow me on Instagram @victoriakleinsmanofficial💙 Become a coach: https://victoriakleinsman.com/become-a-coach/