Intentional Leader with Cal Walters

135: Dr. Jeff Wetzler — Why People Don't Tell You the Truth (and the Questions That Change Everything)

➡️ Get my free weekly newsletter (The Intentional Letter): https://courses.calwalters.me/signup Follow Jeff's work: https://www.jeffwetzler.com/ Dr. Jeff Wetzler, author of Ask, joins Cal Walters to unpack a leadership blind spot: the crucial information your team has… but isn't telling you. Jeff explains the "left-hand column" (what people think and feel but don't say), the four reasons honesty gets filtered, and the ASK Approach—a practical framework for choosing curiosity, building psychological safety, asking better questions, and closing the loop when feedback is hard to act on. If you want better decisions, healthier relationships, and fewer surprises, this conversation will give you a playbook. Episode Outline / Timestamps 00:00 The hidden information problem 00:41 Guest intro + what you'll learn 01:37 Chris Argyris + the "left-hand column" tool 08:07 Four reasons people don't tell you the truth 12:06 Why smart/successful leaders struggle to learn 13:55 Jeff's near miss: one question that revealed the truth 15:45 Psychological safety: why curiosity alone isn't enough 21:35 Reactivity: the biggest predictor of future honesty 22:18 Responding well to hard feedback 25:00 The ASK Approach: Choose curiosity 29:48 Curiosity killers + "When you're furious, get curious" 32:29 Busy leaders: "Pay now or pay later" 36:40 Quality questions vs. crummy questions 40:04 Better questions for feedback and performance reviews 44:07 Go-to questions for parties and relationships 47:48 Questions as a gift: helping others gain clarity 49:55 How to handle feedback you won't follow 51:08 Reflect & reconnect: sift it, turn it, and close the loop 53:13 Cal's takeaways and practical challenges Practical Challenges to Try This Week Replace: "Do you have feedback for me?" With: "What's one thing I could do differently that would make your life easier?" When you feel defensive, ask one question before making a statement. When someone brings hard truth, try: "That's hard to hear—and I'm really glad you told me."

134: Randy Gravitt — Winning at Home Without Losing at Work, Leading With Presence, and Why Hope Is Not a Strategy

➡️ Get my free weekly newsletter (The Intentional Letter): https://courses.calwalters.me/signup Get Randy's book: https://www.amazon.com/Winning-Begins-Home-Strategy-Leadership/dp/B0CTYGNXCG Learn about Lead Every Day: https://leadeveryday.com/ In this episode, Cal Walters sits down with executive coach, speaker, and author Randy Gravitt of  ⁨@Lead_Every_Day⁩  to explore one of the most important leadership questions of our time: How do you pursue excellence at work without sacrificing what matters most at home? Randy shares powerful insights from decades of coaching leaders across Fortune 100 companies, professional sports teams, and nonprofits—along with lessons from his book Winning Begins at Home. This conversation goes beyond clichés about work-life balance and gets practical about strategy, systems, presence, and love—and why winning at home actually makes you a better leader at work. Please visit my website to get more information: https://calwalters.me/ 00:00 – Welcome to 2026 & the Intentional Leader community 02:10 – Introducing Randy Gravitt & the tension leaders feel 03:40 – Strategic at work, sporadic at home 06:00 – Why family has quietly been diminished 07:45 – Being home but not really home 08:55 – Proximity does not equal intimacy 10:00 – The servant leadership tension 12:20 – Living in the center of the tension 13:45 – Begin with the end in mind 15:10 – You will never finish all the work 16:50 – Seasons turn into patterns 18:30 – The NFL Super Bowl story 21:00 – Leaving work at work 22:15 – Training presence like a discipline 23:30 – Rituals that help you be present 25:30 – Phone boundaries that actually work 27:40 – Winning the first hour of the day 29:40 – Why home life fuels work performance 32:10 – Choosing priorities on purpose 34:00 – The hidden cost of neglecting home 36:30 – "What kind of family do you want?" 38:40 – Family by design, not by default 41:00 – Marriage after the kids leave 43:00 – Don't go to bed angry 46:30 – Love first 49:50 – See a need, meet a need 54:00 – Final encouragement to leaders 59:00 – Key takeaways & closing challenge

133: LTG(R) Milford Beagle "Beags" — A Three-Star General on True North, Resilience, Feedback, and How to Lead With Confidence Without Becoming Overconfident

➡️ Get my free weekly newsletter (The Intentional Letter): https://courses.calwalters.me/signup 📚 Get LTG (Ret.) Beagle's new book, When the Map Runs Out: https://www.amazon.com/When-Map-Runs-Out-Uncertain/dp/B0G1ZGH76J As leaders rise, they often hear less and less truth. LTG (Ret.) Milford Beagle calls this the cone of silence—and he warns that it's one of the quietest ways leaders lose their true north. In this episode, we explore how to lead when your "map" falls apart. General Beagle shares his journey from a stunned new platoon leader at Fort Polk to commanding the U.S. Army Combined Arms Center, and what he's learned about staying grounded, humble, and effective in uncertainty. We dig into his new book, When the Map Runs Out: Values, Judgment, and Clarity in Uncertain Times, and talk about practical tools: a one-page "How to Handle Me" document, a journaling habit to process negative emotions, and how to invite real feedback without shutting people down. If you're navigating change, promotion, or pressure to have all the answers, this conversation will help you lead with confidence and humility at the same time. 🔎 In This Episode, You'll Learn Why the higher you go, the more you're at risk of a cone of silence. How leaders lose true north—not from incompetence, but distortion. The difference between maps (plans, strategies, frameworks) and the compass (your values and judgment). Two key disciplines of leadership: bearing (self-awareness) and calibration (inviting others to check your bearing). How introverts, extroverts, and ambiverts can all be authentic leaders without pretending to be someone else. A practical tool: the "How to Handle Me" document that accelerates trust and clarifies expectations. How to create a culture where honest feedback is normal—especially for senior leaders. Why even three-star generals feel imposter syndrome, and how to work through it. How to provide clarity without certainty using "signposts on the road." Simple habits for resilience: journaling, reframing failure, and "always quit tomorrow." ⏱️ TIMESTAMPS 00:00 – The cone of silence: how leaders lose true north as they rise 01:56 – Cal's intro, the Intentional Leader Podcast, and LTG Beagle's background 03:15 – Fort Polk & the first platoon: "I felt like a leader… and not a very good one" 08:45 – From follower to leader: athletics, ROTC, and early moments when the map ran out 10:27 – Why When the Map Runs Out and the map/compass metaphor 12:36 – Frameworks, bearing, and calibration: why leaders need more than maps 16:54 – Authentic leadership for every personality type 22:57 – Designing a "How to Handle Me" one-pager for your team 26:27 – Examples: not liking details, humor, and getting quiet when processing 29:57 – Public speaking fear, reps & sets, and keeping the bar high 32:16 – Ego, promotion, and the cone of silence at senior levels 36:27 – Training your team to give you unvarnished feedback 40:24 – Feedback as the breakfast of champions (and why it stings) 42:09 – Imposter syndrome at the Combined Arms Center 46:01 – Clarity vs. certainty: the signpost town hall during organizational change 52:05 – True north and values: integrity, empathy, resilience, "quit tomorrow," loyalty 58:33 – The hurdles metaphor: falling, resilience, and running through obstacles 1:02:10 – Journaling to process emotion and see your own growth over time 1:07:17 – Time, priorities, and the cost of diluted focus 1:15:02 – Knowing your weaknesses and starting with them in interviews 1:16:15 – Where to find When the Map Runs Out and connect with LTG Beagle 1:17:53 – Cal's closing: four practical actions you can take this week 🧭 Practical Ways to Apply This Episode Create your own "How to Handle Me" document One page, honest, and specific: quirks, tendencies, what you're working on, and how people can best work with you. Start (or restart) a journaling habit For the next 7 days, write at least one sentence about how you're feeling and what you're facing. Ask for one piece of real feedback Pick one person you trust. Ask, "What's one thing I could do differently that would make me a better leader for you?" Then thank them. Practice clarity in uncertainty In one messy situation this week, clearly state: What we know What we don't know What we're going to do next

132: Joe McCormack — Special Operations Communication Expert Shares How to Say Less, Communicate With Clarity, and Lead With Quiet Confidence

Connect with Joe: https://www.linkedin.com/in/josephpmccormack/ Learn more about The Brief Lab: https://thebrieflab.com/ How do you become the kind of leader who cuts through noise, communicates with clarity, and actually moves people to action? In this episode of the Intentional Leader Podcast, Cal talks with Joe McCormack—founder of The Brief Lab and author of Brief, Noise, and Quiet Works. Joe has trained elite military units and Fortune 500 executives to be clear, concise, and intentional communicators, and to rediscover the quiet that makes powerful communication possible. They explore: Why noise is the real villain in your leadership story The "sword and shield" of effective communication: brief (cut through clutter) and quiet (protect your attention) Why being brief actually requires more preparation, not less The 3 levels of detail and how to stop overwhelming people How to build quiet into your day so you think better and lead better Why thinking time is part of your job, not a luxury How to use small pockets of quiet before and after meetings Practical ways to manage your phone instead of being managed by it How AI + quiet work can become a leadership superpower If you've ever felt frustrated by endless meetings, rambling updates, or your own distracted brain, this conversation will give you practical tools you can use this week. Episode Highlights Noise as the villain – How constant distractions, disruptions, and devices are eroding our ability to think and communicate. The brief & quiet toolkit – Brief is the sword that cuts through clutter; quiet is the shield that protects your attention so you can prepare. Why we overtalk – Insecurity, lack of preparation, ego, and a poor understanding of attention spans. The 3 levels of detail – Level 1 (headline), Level 2 (support), Level 3 (full detail). Most leadership moments only need Levels 1–2. Clarity like comedy – Sequence and timing matter. If it takes too long to get to the punchline, you lose people—even if the content is good. Quiet as an appointment – Why you should literally block quiet time on your calendar and not treat it like a "snow day." Quiet before collaboration – Simple practices like two minutes of silence at the start of meetings can transform outcomes. Redefining work in the AI age – Undistracted thinking is becoming a rare and valuable skill; AI works best when you can sit still and think. Your phone works for you – Reframing your phone as a tool, not a master. Practical Takeaways Take 3 minutes before your next meeting or email to decide: What's my headline? Use Joe's 3 levels of detail filter: Am I giving a headline, a trailer, or the entire movie? Block 15 minutes of quiet in the morning and afternoon, and connect it directly to upcoming or recent communication. Start your next team meeting with 2 minutes of silence for everyone to think about what they want to say and what they hope to get out of the meeting. Put your phone in another room for your quiet block and remind yourself: My phone works for me; I don't work for it.  

131: Dr. Liz Werly — What an Army Psychologist for Special Ops Teaches About High Performance and Emotional Intelligence

How do the best military leaders go from operating at an already elite level… to an even higher level under pressure? In this episode, Army psychologist Dr. Liz Werly (who works directly with some of the U.S. military's most elite units) breaks down the exact framework she uses to help high performers: build accurate self-awareness using gold-standard assessments, "engineer" their personality to fit the context (calm under fire and present at home), develop emotional intelligence as the differentiator once IQ and talent are in place, and translate values into visible daily behaviors that protect what matters most. We also dig into groundedness and intentionality as core high-performance habits, the basics that leaders ignore at their own risk (sleep, rhythm, connection), and how generational shifts and resiliency trends are reshaping today's force and workplaces. In this episode, you'll learn: How Dr. Werly assesses elite leaders (IQ, Big Five, emotional measures) and turns data into a growth plan Why emotional intelligence becomes more important than raw intellect at higher levels of leadership A simple values → beliefs → behaviors framework (including the "20-minute Lego" example) How to recognize when your strengths (e.g., robotic under pressure) become liabilities at home or with your team Practical tools for grounding, bandwidth management, and emotional "dialing" What leaders need to understand about younger generations, resiliency, and expectations If you're already a high performer and want to become a more grounded, self-aware, and sustainable leader, this conversation is for you. Mentioned in this episode: Connect with Dr. Liz Werly on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/elizabeth-h-werly-psy-d-b843b817/ Join the waitlist for the next Intentional Leader Lab cohort: intentionalleaderlab.com The views expressed in this episode are those of the participants and do not represent the official position of the U.S. Government or the U.S. Army. Chapters: 00:00 Intro – How elite leaders go from high to higher 00:33 Disclaimer + what this episode will cover 01:06 Welcome to The Intentional Leader Podcast + IL Lab mention 01:36 Meet Dr. Liz Werly & her work with elite military units 03:35 "If I walked into your office…" – her framework for high performers 05:19 Patterns, personality, and "engineering" your strengths 07:42 Robotic under pressure, distant at home – dialing traits up/down 09:20 Big Five, gold-standard assessments & why cheap tests fall short 11:24 Why tests need interpretation, not labels 13:18 How leaders react when they see their data 16:50 Values-based goals & Acceptance and Commitment mindset 18:58 IQ vs personality vs EQ – what you can actually change 21:00 The four pillars of emotional intelligence (Liz's breakdown) 24:25 Why EQ is the edge once IQ is "good enough" 24:50 Groundedness & intentionality as #1 performance levers 26:44 Designing your "ideal day" for this season of life 29:04 Sleep, basics, and whole-person performance 29:50 Values → beliefs → behaviors (the 20-minute Lego example) 32:36 When values collide (deployments, travel, guilt & shame) 34:44 Emotions as information vs letting emotions drive decisions 36:30 Generational friction & why it's an emotional intelligence issue 39:25 Tech, expectations, and how younger leaders are different 41:06 Resiliency, safety culture, and maturity gaps 43:18 Recruiting, mental health, and opportunity in today's force 45:00 Where to connect with Liz + her final advice to leaders 46:24 Outro – 5 practical challenges: grounding, values, bandwidth, dialing, feedback