Remarkability Institute with Bart Queen

Cara Conley on empowering students

Bart:   Hey guys, it is so great to be with you. And I'm so excited for you to meet our guests today. Now you all know that I love to share quotes. And when I think about this young woman, two quotes definitely come to my mind. The first one is this. If you believe in yourself and believe in your mission, People will believe in you and your mission and follow you.[00:02:07] And the second quote is if one, someone, once someone believes in you, you can not fail both of those quotes, really just highlight. Who Kara is and what Kara is all about, and what she does with the young people that she mentors and leads and works with at Virginia Tech, I met. Kara several years ago when I was working for a client in the outer banks of North Carolina.[00:02:42] And since then, she and I have walked a similar path. We've grown together. We've experienced the ups and downs that life has brought us. So it is with great joy and an absolute treat to have her with us today. If there's one thing that Kara and I have in common, it's the fact that we believe our youth are our future.[00:03:05] We would also believe that our youth are our future voice and that our youth are our future change. So as we spend our short amount of time together, what I'd like you to do is begin to see a share as Cara shares, how inner confidence in these young people change the complete trajectory of where their lives have come.[00:03:32] I want you to begin to see how, when they found their voice and they exercise their voice, they were on the right path. They were in the right direction, and they were able to lead change. Kara. And I timed came to know each other as a result of an initiative that I took in 2008 and reaching out to an organization in Kenya.[00:03:54] Now, many of you may have heard this story. There was a woman in my class who said that her parents owned an orphanage. And I said, if you find any value, I'm happy to come to that orphanage. Now that was in 2008. I had the privilege and the honor of working with 60 young people. 60 young people in an orphanage.[00:04:15] Most of them with only one set of clothes, very few of them with any shoes. And they got one meal a day. But at the end of that experience, I saw lives transformed because they gained inner confidence. Not because of anything that I necessarily did, but because they began to believe in themselves. And some people reinforced that idea that they were worth something.[00:04:43] Kara. I am so excited to have you with us today to be a part of our guests and share your story. Welcome wall. [00:04:53] Cara: Thanks, Bart. I'm excited to be here and excited to be talking to you as always. It's always a pleasure. [00:04:59] Bart: Now I know you're known at work as the boss lady, but could you tell us a little bit about what your title is?[00:05:07] Outside of the boss lady, of course, [00:05:10] Cara: outside of the boss lady, that's at home and pers at personally and professionally, I should note, [00:05:19] Bart: we need to get your husband on here then. Cause we need to probably talk about that [00:05:24] Cara: conveniently. He is working on a sidewalk for his grandparents, but we'll say that's [00:05:30] Bart: my fault.[00:05:32] Cara: I'm an academic advisor at an institution, a higher education institution. So I do a lot of coaching and mentoring. That means that I. Usually, the bread and butter of what I do is plans of study. If you think about an academic advisor, the reality of what I do is really the coaching and mentoring and leading and guiding portion of my job.[00:05:57] So I fell into academic advising and a bit of an unconventional way. Originally I wanted to be a wedding planner. There's a. Long string of events between wedding planning and academic advising, but I have always had a passion for helping and mentoring, and guiding people. [00:06:16] Bart: Tell us just a little bit more about this path that you just shared.[00:06:21] What was the catalyst that made you say yes, I'm going to go take this job as an academic advisor.[00:06:31] Cara: It was just a common thread for me, and this is something I share with my students really often. There's going to be a common thread and the things you're attracted to the things you enjoy doing. And for me, that common thread that central pillar has always been people and helping people.[00:06:49] And what I found through the different organizations that I've worked for between event planning. Lodging hotels and. Property management and now, higher education is just a passion for helping people and mentoring, specifically people students in the high school and college-age range. I have been fortunate enough for that to be okay.[00:07:16] Something that's a part of my job, but not my central role in most of my positions. And I just have been so drawn to it. And, one day I just said, I think I ought to change my job. And so I did. I was really set on being an academic advisor with no experience whatsoever in doing it. And to give you the glory, it worked out. [00:07:37] Bart: though.[00:07:38] Tell me, how long have you been doing that now? [00:07:41] Cara: Since October of 2016, so 40 [00:07:43] Bart: years. Congratulations. Thank you. Sure. A little bit about when you first got started, what were the challenges that you faced, and then if you wouldn't mind share, of course, as a result of COVID in our pandemic situation, what are the challenges that you're now facing with the students?[00:08:06] Cara: So, at first, in my role, one of the most challenging parts was not understanding. Higher education as an organization. So if you've ever looked at a higher education website or worked in that industry, there's a lot of people with similar titles. I often tell my students you have to. There are many people with the title Dean, and it means something and higher education, but to students, it doesn't.[00:08:33] And so I was in this position where I'm trying to figure out who is the Dean of what and what that means. And. That's just a small example. But while they're also figuring it out. So I think that was one of the biggest challenges and transitioning from industry to higher education.[00:08:54] All of the other stuff was transferrable. If you're just the emotional intelligence, compassion, caring, concern for other people being able to say, I don't know, but I'll figure it out, or we'll figure it out together. That has been pretty much my motto or something that I think I say every day, but I don't know, but we'll figure it out.[00:09:17] Let's figure it out. And then in the days of COVID. The challenge is being physically distant from them. So we were really intended to create an office space. I have a wonderful team. That's just, they're wonderful to work with and have such great ideas, and they're welcoming. They make you feel at home.[00:09:37] And we wanted our students to feel at home in our office. So we had a coffee bar and—little snacks. We always made sure some things like gummies granola bars, because they often come to meetings for these really short time periods and haven't eaten, and they need t...

Thomas Ross - No one succeeds alone

In preparation for today's interview, Bart was digging into Gary Keller's book called "One Thing" which highlighted three things for Bart:Extraordinary results are directly determined by how narrow your focus isNo one succeeds aloneMastery should be seen as a path and not a destination Communication takes a lifetime to master. Thomas has seen his journey with mastering communication as an opportunity to focus on the path and not the destination. He is part of the theological program at the Shepherds Institute. He was involved in an organization called Send international and spent a year in Russia and we dive into his experience in this episode.They were teaching English in a summer camp format during their time in Russia. Thomas shares about what the three biggest challenges to overcome.1. The cultural differences2. How to show people we love them without words, but through emotions and body language3. Working with the church about logistics without a shared language and vocabulary.We discuss overcoming the often negative stereotypes of Americans in Russia which Thomas described as an uphill battle. We discussed how in any communication there is a difference between perception and reality. That gap is called disparity. When addressing a group of people the perception of how you might perceive it is going as the communication may be different than the way the listeners are perceiving.  The goal of successful communication is learning to close that gap. Thomas described hurdles he faced when trying to close that disparity gap during his time in Russia. Understanding what they needed and what they were looking for when they attended class versus what he thought they needed. This fits perfectly into an idea often discussed in classes by Bart which is being listener focused instead of teacher-focused.  Thomas also discussed how cultural differences communicated more than he intended. For example, when offered tea, he may have refused because he preferred water or not wanting people to go through the trouble of preparing tea, but in Russian culture sharing tea was a staple and often people would be offended by his refusal of tea. Thomas also shared about his wife's experience as a woman in Russia, which is a largely patriarchal society. We discussed the power of a woman's voice in effective communication and transforming lives.When asked about what's next, Thomas shared some potential plans they have for their future. We spent time talking about the cultural differences between churches in Russia to churches in America. For example, there is less influence of consumerism, mostly smaller, there are small changes in government restrictions.  

Tina Bennett - Skills every teenager should have

Nelson Mandella said, "Education is the most powerful weapon that you can use to change the world." Tina is a great example of the idea of taking education and using it as a weapon to produce change.Giving students the power to communicate helps them with college interviews, presentations, and sets a foundation for key relationships in their lives. In 2008, Bart was able to travel to Kenya to work with juniors and seniors in an orphanage. It was during this trip that Bart felt called to give a million people their voice. It was during this time that Tina asked Bart to consider coming to her high school and working with her students.Tina is a dedicated teacher who goes above and beyond with her students. Bart has worked on and off with Tina and her students over a six-year period and they talk about the effects of investing in the communication skills of these young people. "It has been transformational both for the students and in my life to see these young people that have struggles beyond what we could imagine walking into your class and in three days walk out transformed." - TinaTina shares examples of students who experienced transformation in their confidence to speak and engage with others and share their beliefs as they learn to live their purpose.Guadalupe was a young woman who took the class and went from a young lady with low self-esteem to the next year running for homecoming queen. "I think that's what this class does better than anything, it empowers the student to be their best self." - Tina

Mastering Virtual Communication - Part Four

Welcome to the remarkability Institute. This is Bart Queen, your host. Today. I am very excited about the program I've been doing around virtual communication. If you're joining us for the very first time today, what I've covered over the last podcasts, you're not going to want to miss. So make sure you go back. [00:01:24] the very first one, I gave a high-level overview of what a virtual meeting really needs to look like. That there were three major buckets to that. There's the pre virtual meeting. There's the actual virtual meeting. And then there's the post virtual meeting. And in my first podcast, I spent a fair amount of time on each one of those.[00:01:48] On the last podcast, I began to dive into the actual virtual meeting's actual content structure. Now guys, one of the things I shared was that most people think that 90% of the struggle is actually doing the meeting. It's actually now me interacting with the technology, and the student it's wrong.[00:02:10] It's really only 10%. 90% of the struggle is getting them to come to your meeting, getting them there, and then number two, driving them to action. Once it's done, it's not the actual meeting itself. It's getting them there, getting them to commit. And then how do I drive them? What's the action to take them forward.[00:02:34]The third piece that I shared was that idea around the actual content structure. And I shared several pins principles that are the foundation for us to build from today's podcast is actually getting into the content structure components, the actual components, as you began to craft content. So now, if you are at home, you're in your office, your listing, you have a place where you can have pen and paper.[00:03:05] I will definitely be able to take some notes, guys. I think you'll find some interesting things you can use immediately. And if you happen to be driving in your car, maybe, you can relisten to this again. You can turn your phone on record and listen from that perspective. That way you'll have some notes, guys.[00:03:23] All right. So the versed very first key component that we want to look at in content structure is what I call your three teas. Now, your three teas are your topic, your theme, and your title. When I'm coaching someone. And I ask them, do me a favor and write down your topic. Most people will give me a title.[00:03:49] Guys, what's the number one purpose of a title, whether you're writing or you're speaking,[00:03:54]most of you will say something to give the listener or the reader a sense of what you're talking about. Incorrect. The number one purpose of a title is to grab someone's attention period. I want you to start getting creative with your titles. Now with the title, you're allowed two subtitles, one subtitle, clarity to the topic.[00:04:21] the Second subtitle benefits the listener or the reader, depending on what you're trying to accomplish. I want you the next time. You're. Going to spend a Sunday at a Barnes and Noble or a bookstore. You're just going to hang out, drink coffee, look at magazines and look at a couple of books. Look at how that principle is lived out on almost every single book that you pick up.[00:04:44] What makes you pick up the book? It's either the title or the picture of the book. And then you look at the subtitles, which give you clarity into that title. A topic is the bull's eye center of what you're trying to talk about. So let's say the topic is just, it could be XYZ solution. It could be risk. It could be security.[00:05:10] It could be happiness. It could be humor. It could be anything, but you've pinpointed that topic down to something, boil that as simple as you can make it. Your theme is a common thread that you run through your content, a mountain climbing theme. A gardening thing, a physical fitness theme, any type of theme that you feel like you'd like to run through it.[00:05:38] Guys, this is a tremendous opportunity for you to share a little bit about yourself in building a common thread. One of my favorite examples of this is a book called beyond the summit. Tom Skinner is the author's freestyle mountain climber who climbed almost every single mountain in the world. He decided to write a book about what he's learned about mountain climbing and equated to business leadership, the book's topic, the business leadership theme in the book, mountain climbing title of the book beyond the summit.[00:06:21] A brilliant use. breaking out the three T's, the second major component. Anytime you're crafting a meeting and especially in the virtual world, it is your open and close. These are critical. That's a starting place in the ending place. Now, if you'll listen last week, you heard me talk about what's the purpose.[00:06:44] Is it education? Is it selling? Is it building awareness? What's the purpose. So once you've pinpointed the purpose, you have to have a starting place and an ending place. That's all an open-ended closed. Does it frames [00:06:59] the [00:07:00] Bart: body of what you want to share? It frames the body of what you want to share, the meat of what you want to share.[00:07:09] It gives your listener a natural starting place and putting this puzzle together and fitting the pieces together. And it gives you a listener, an exit point. The third major component then is the body. Excuse me, guys. It's the meat of what you want to share. And the last point, the last key component is what I call foundational information.[00:07:38] It's the logistics, it's housekeeping issues. It's credibility building both for yourself and for your business. If that's what you need to do, it's also the background. Now that background should have been from your discovery situation. Why you're there? What are you trying to solve? Remember, no pain, no value, no business.[00:08:04] So if you're not relating what you're bringing to the table to some type of an issue challenge or a pain you're hitting, you're just going to be missing the Mark guys.[00:08:14]Now, with those in mind, let me get into a little bit deeper detail around this idea of your body, the content, the main body of what you want to share. No more than four key points, anything more than four key points, guys. You're on that verge of how do I tell them more? Not how do I get them to remember more?[00:08:37] And with each within each one of those four key points or four main objectives or format ideas? No more than four sub-points within each one of them.[00:08:49]Three is ideal. Three major points and three subpoints are what you want to strive for. Now, if you want to go for three major points and four sub-points for each one, that's absolutely fine. Nothing wrong with that. If you're going to follow a body structure, that's more of a Ted type talk. It's one message backed up by three supporting points.[00:09:13] So study a good Ted Talk. They have one thing. That's the message they're trying to drive one single message, not three messages, one single the message. The greatest example that I enjoy on Ted talks like that is Simon Sinek. Start with why the one, especially that I enjoy is inspiring leaders. This is the one where he shows the golden circles.[00:09:38] If you, by chance, seen that or read one of his books. He's got one major point and three supporting points that back it up. If you go to the other side of a traditional keynote, remember a traditional keynote is really 60 minutes or 90 minutes on the longer side, where at Ted type t...

Mastering Virtual Communication - Part Three

Welcome to the remarkability Institute. This is Bart Queen, your host. If you joined us last week, I began a series on virtual communication. And last week, I spent the majority of our time together giving you the structure of what the meeting needed to look like. I shared with you that there were three key pieces to do it, doing something virtually successfully.[00:01:29] Number one, there's the pre virtual meeting, getting all the logistics set up there is the actual meeting itself. Whether you're on Microsoft teams, you're on WebEx; you're on zoom, whatever kind of a platform you're using. And then there's the post virtual. Meeting critical to drive the listener forward the organization forward, get them to take the action steps that you so desire.[00:01:58] This is the second major piece of that, and this is around the actual virtual meeting. But within that virtual meeting, you must have some type of structure that you can work with then. And all the world travel that I've had an opportunity to do in my 30 years of working with this skillset and helping organizations.[00:02:26] One of the key things that I always enjoy is the architectural structures of things that I've had the privilege of seeing walking on the great wall of China, seeing. No true Dom seeing sacred heart, seeing things in the United States, seeing buildings and architecture all over the world. Now having spent most of my life in the Bay area as my home, that part of the world had two structures that I always admired.[00:03:01] One is the golden gate bridge and the other. It is the Hoover dam. Both of those structures to me are just mind-boggling about how they were built, how they've created, how they have been timely and timeless, and what they brought to you. And I not only visually, but to get from one side of the bay to the other and in the Hoover dam to produce electricity and just the visual sight of such a structure.[00:03:36] Most people. When we talk about structure, they want to fight me on this idea around content. They will say, Bart, that's not me. It constricts me. It makes me feel like it's too tight. I'm just one of those guys. That's gotta be pure freestyle. I love those people. Whether you want to be freestyle or you, want to work within a structure that you are authentic to who you are, but I want you to realize that in my example of.[00:04:05] The golden gate bridge and the Hoover dam that structure, the structure that they use gives the bridge and the dam strength. It allows it to be continuous. It allows it to be consistent. It allows it to be timely and timeless and what it brings to us. I want your content, whether you're talking personally or professionally.[00:04:31] To be timely and timeless with the people that you're sharing it with. One of the key things that will help you be successful in any communication situation is having a content structure that you work with them. Now today, guys are I dive into that second aspect around virtual communication.[00:04:57] What I want you to do is walk away with the elements of the content structure that you can use anywhere. Why it is so important in the virtual world is because the level of complexity, intensity, and confusion can skyrocket purely because of the mode that we're communicating in. When it's face to face, we can reduce some of those things.[00:05:22] But if we take these exponential factors that we have to deal with, we have to think of ways to make it seamless, effortless, make it so a listener can retain the information and, more importantly, in my mind so that they remember it. Remember, if you spend any time with me at all, you've heard me say, it's not about how do I tell them more. It's how do I get them to remember more?[00:05:47] That becomes so critical. I want to make sure that your content, whether it's five minutes, 50 minutes, or five hours, you're doing a whole day kind of an event that people walk out the door, absorbing what you said, structure. Is the beginning piece. It is the key critical factor that will set you out from everybody else.[00:06:13] Guys, if you will study a good keynote speech, if you will look at any successful book, if you will look at any successful movie, there is a structure that the directors, the writers, and the creators all build within. When I think about good movies. When I think about movies like Star Wars and avatar, though, some of those kinds of movies have followed a structure, and nine times out of 10, the structure that the directors followed was some form of the hero's journey.[00:06:53] You've heard me speak of this many times. So with that idea, let's dive into this idea of our virtual content structure for the actual meeting that you're doing.[00:07:06]Now, when I started this process with you, we talked about three major areas, the pre-meeting, the actual meeting, and the post-meeting; we're talking now about the structure within the actual meeting. This is where I'm going to focus on our time together. I want you to remember a simple principle that there are freedom and structure.[00:07:27] I also want you to remember. We never, we memorize what we put in it. We memorize the structure itself. If you memorize the structure, you can plug and play anything you want. You can move the pieces around if you want. But here's the hard thing. We have to do the hard work and keep it simple for our listeners, especially in the virtual world.[00:07:51] That is the principle. Number one, you have to be able to do the hard work. You gotta be able to keep it simple, do the hard work and keep it simple. I want you to remember that a confused mind will always say no. So if they're confused, they're not even going to absorb what you're talking about. So now that's principle number one, guys, let's take a look at principle.[00:08:16] Number two. It's what I call the 75% rule. Now, this rule has been saved many times. Let's say someone invites you to come in, and they're going to give you an hour to speak. You go back to your office, you go back to your acute cubicle, and you're starting to craft content. And most of you are probably crafting content in PowerPoint.[00:08:43] Now here's what I want you to remember about the 75% rule. It's 75% of the time you've been given is what you should try to fill. So if I've asked you to fill 60 minutes, And you apply the rule. That's 45 minutes. That's what everybody's going to think, but I want you to realize that is not correct.[00:09:09] There's one of the things that I want you to consider factoring in. I want you to back out what you and I would call your Q and time or your banter time or the time when you're just going to really have a conversation. Maybe that's all the way through. Maybe that's just at the end, depending on how you've laid out the communication situation you're in.[00:09:33] So if I've given you 60 minutes and you follow the 75% role, you're going to think, okay, I need to fill 45. Now, remember that's incorrect. So you take your 60 minutes back out what you want for banter Q and a. So let's make life easy and say that's 15 minutes. That leaves you 45 minutes. Now you want to take 75% of that to fill with your content.[00:10:03] Now, a lot of you are well, Bart, that doesn't seem like very much. That's because you have such a mindset of how do I tell them more? How do I tell them more? How do I tell them more? And my mindset to help you is how do you get them to remember more? I've what I'm telling you. If I invited you to a meeting at it ended five minutes early, would you be happy or sad?[00:...