Honeydew Me

271. Just Between Us: Bathing Suit Anxiety, Cass' Nose Job & Historical Women That Men Hated

A listener wrote in about her upcoming girls' weekend. The rental has a hot tub, everyone's going to be in bikinis, and she's nervous about how she looks in a bathing suit. Em and Cass share their own experiences navigating this exact scenario, plus a few tips for managing the anxiety without limiting your damn life. From there, Cass walks us all through her recent nose job: why she wanted it, the cost breakdown, post-anesthesia antics and the healing process. Emma shares the story of Elise Ottesen-Jensen, a Swedish journalist and anarchist who started teaching women about their bodies in the early 1900s and went on to co-found the International Planned Parenthood Federation.  They close with a "normalize-this" segment on what summer bodies actually look like, plus listener hot takes (i.e. FREE THE BUSH). Learn more about 1:1 coaching HERE!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Get Honeydew Me Merch HERE!⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

270. We Asked Our Resident Gyno Everything You're Afraid To ft. Dr. Maria Sophocles

You asked, our favorite gynecologist answered. We brought Dr. Maria Sophocles, a board-certified OB-GYN of 30 years, back on Honeydew Me to tackle the questions our community has been too nervous to ask their own doctors (which we COMPLETELY understand).  Before we got into your questions, she explained exactly why so many of us feel behind: most of us learned about sex from porn, a sibling, or a condom on a banana, and the U.S. still largely refuses to teach it well. (The Dutch, it turns out, are doing it right, and their teens are WAY better off for it.) So no, it's not your fault you don't know this stuff, and you have nothing to be embarrassed about. Now let's get into iiiiit! We cover: When a doctor shames you for asking a question: why a dismissive provider is usually acting from their own discomfort, not your ignorance, and how to advocate for yourself anyway. Can your gynecologist tell if you've had sex recently? The honest answer is yes, but only in one specific case. Dr. Maria explains what actually gives it away and why there's no reason for shame either way. What to expect at your first gyno appointment: why a first visit may not involve an exam at all, what the full exam actually includes, and how to make it a two-step process if you're nervous. Do pap smears have to hurt? Dr. Maria validates that the pain is real and pushes back on the "tough it out" culture, with specific things you can ask for: a smaller speculum, numbing, and meds beforehand. Scared of the gyno or putting it off? Facing the real barriers honestly, including bias in women's healthcare, and why skipping care still only hurts you. What an "abnormal" pap really means: why it's usually not what you fear, what the levels actually signify, and how the HPV connection factors in. The fishy-smell question, answered: what BV actually is, the surprising polyester link, and how to treat it (including whether boric acid really works). This conversation is educational and not a substitute for your own provider's advice. Connect with Dr. Sophocles on Instagram @mariasophoclesmd, on her website here, or by ordering a copy of The Bedroom Gap! ⁠ Learn more about 1:1 coaching HERE!⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Get Honeydew Me Merch HERE!⁠⁠ Thanks to Bellesa for sponsoring the show! Our friends at Bellesa are sending out free toys or gift cards for toys to EVERYONE who signs up! Click the link to get yours!  https://www.bboutique.co/vibe/honeydewme-pod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

269. The 7 Years of Sex You're Skipping: Anna Nickerson on Cherry, Mess-Free Period Sex & Pleasure

Anna Nickerson is the founder of Cherry, the first brand closing the gap between period care and pleasure. Their first product is a menstrual disc designed for completely mess-free period sex. She joins Cass and Emma to talk about why period sex is still taboo (and what we lose by avoiding it: roughly seven years of sex over a woman's lifetime), how to actually use a disc without panicking, the difference between period positivity and period neutrality, and why a man who refuses period sex is usually telling on himself. In this episode: The real girl math we need to be doing: skipping intimacy during your period adds up to almost seven years of sex over your lifetime Period positivity vs period neutrality: what actually destigmatizes the conversation around periods and why we don't have to aim for absolutely LOVING our periods What happens when we apologize for being on our periods and what changes when we stop The double standard nobody calls out: women accept everything men's bodies do (the semen, the sweat, the lack of a headboard), but our blood is somehow the grossest thing in the relationship Cherry's menstrual disc explained: what it's made of, where it actually sits (under the cervix, not in the vaginal canal), how to insert it without it being scary, and why your partner shouldn't feel it The Berkeley study that found lead in tampons and the lack of FDA enforcement that lets it stay there Why a partner being disgusted by period blood is a red flag worth taking seriously Find Cherry at cherry.love, on Instagram at @wearecherry.love, and follow Anna on TikTok at @theperiodseggsgirl. ⁠Learn more about 1:1 coaching HERE!⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Get Honeydew Me Merch HERE!⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

268. Just Between Us: Blowing Up Your Life, Imposter Syndrome & Yoyo Dieting

Emma and Cass open with a listener question that hits a little too close to home: "I just turned 30 and I hate my job, my apartment, and the city I live in. Do I blow it all up or am I just having a moment?" Emma says blow it the f up. Cass, who spent a year deeply unhappy in her marriage, her motherhood, and her life in general, says try 5% better first. \ From there: Cass on the motherhood imposter syndrome that hit her like a freight train (after 27 years of never feeling it), Emma on the version she's lived with her whole life, the menstrual blood research that's genuinely wild, and an unhinged agree/disagree game powered by Cass's husband's questions. In this episode: The listener question: turning 30, hating everything, and Emma vs Cass on whether to blow it up or stay put. "Wherever you go, there you are." Cass on the year she was deeply unwell and what she did instead of running, plus the 5% rule for making your life better without burning it down. "If you're a girly pop in your 30s who has let decisions make you instead of making them, maybe it's time to fucking blow it up." Emma's case for the hard pivot, geographic escapism included. Motherhood imposter syndrome that lasted two years, the postpartum therapist who said stop waiting for the cute walks to happen to you, and the day at the park when Cass realized she was a real mom talking to real moms. Emma on feeling like an imposter in every room she walks into, including the one she literally built. Emma's run-in with a guy she used to sleep with, and a description of his anatomy you will not forget. New menstrual blood research: Dr. Gemma Evans at the Hudson Institute found menstrual plasma heals wounds 40 times faster than regular blood plasma.  A review of decades of yo-yo dieting research turns out to be way less scary than we've been told, and Cass is mad about how women get shamed either way. The SPF lip gloss that Emma keeps stealing from Cass's bathroom. The toy Emma can't get enough of. Get yours HERE at Bellesa! Agree/disagree with questions from Cass's husband: texting your ex, thirst-trap likes, body counts as a red flag, fighting a goose, landing a passenger plane, men should always pay. For anyone in their late 20s or 30s who's ever wanted to quit everything by Tuesday, or felt like an imposter in a room they literally built. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

267. "I Joined a Sex Cult": Star Stone on Onetaste, Toxic Empowerment & Cult Culture

NYC-based comedian, actor, and storyteller Star Stone (@starstonespeaks) joins us to talk about the years she spent inside Onetaste, a Bay Area "sexual wellness" group that built a multi-million dollar operation around a 15-minute clitoris stroking practice and is now better known for being investigated by the FBI. Star takes us through the sex education gap that primed her for it, the relationship that kept her there, the empowerment language that quietly turned coercive, and the long road back to her own desires.  In this episode: Why Star (and basically every millennial woman) ended up Googling her own anatomy in her 20s, and how that vacuum is exactly what predatory communities count on How "edge work" gets weaponized: when "lean into your edge" becomes a way to talk you past your own no, and what to listen for before you sign anything The exact red flags Star wishes she'd clocked sooner (absolute promises, paywalls disguised as inner circles, "you're blocked, that's why you need the course," and the universal cult truth: there's always land) What actually happened inside Onetaste: the practice, the paid intros, the group rooms, the moment the FBI investigation quietly ended in-person practices and nobody told the members Toxic empowerment versus the real thing: how organizations dress up dependency as liberation, and how to spot the difference before they have your money and your nervous system Getting out: the eviction, calling her dad, going viral and getting hated online days after leaving, and the five years of celibacy and self-isolation that followed Rebuilding a sexual identity from scratch when you can't tell anymore which desires were yours and which were normalized inside the group For anyone who's ever wondered how smart, curious women end up in places like this, and for anyone trying to tell the difference between a teacher and a trap. Star's show CL*T CULT runs June 3rd at 7 p.m. at The Pit NYC, tickets at starstonespeaks.com or @starstonespeaks on Instagram. ⁠Learn more about 1:1 coaching HERE!⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Get Honeydew Me Merch HERE!⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices