Honeydew Me

274. 30-40% of Men Are Hiding Their Porn Use: Dr. Adi Jaffe on Addiction, Intimacy & Shame

Dr. Adi Jaffe has a PhD in psychology from UCLA, is a TEDx speaker, and founded IGNTD, a platform reframing how we talk about addiction, shame, and recovery. He joins Em and Cass for a wide-ranging conversation on addiction, mental health, and the skill nobody teaches us: how to sit with discomfort instead of running from it. They get into what addiction actually is, why so many of us are quietly struggling with some version of it, and why the behaviors we lean on to cope (porn, drinking, doom scrolling, work) all trace back to the same thing. Adi walks them through what happens in a relationship when one person uses those behaviors to avoid intimacy, how shame keeps people stuck, and his framework for working through it. Find Dr. Adi at adijaffe.com and on Instagram at @dradijaffe. Unhooked is wherever you get your books. Learn more about 1:1 coaching HERE!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Get Honeydew Me Merch HERE!⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

273. Just Between Us: My Boyfriend Called Me High Maintenance In Front of His Friends

A listener's boyfriend called her high maintenance in front of his friends, and now she's second-guessing everything. Em and Cass are here to break it down and help her figure it out. They share the results of their (very amateur) research... because it turns out 60% of you have also been called high maintenance. They read your stories, come clean about their own, and get honest about the ways in which they truly are a little hard to maintain. Lastly, they reframe the concept of being "too much" and remind you that the best shit always has more needs. Learn more about 1:1 coaching HERE!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Get Honeydew Me Merch HERE!⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

272. The Cycle Syncing Lie: Laura Federico & Morgan Miller on Hormones, Ovulation & What Tracking Actually Looks Like

Laura Federico is a certified sex therapist. Morgan Miller is a certified professional midwife who runs a birth center in Maine. They've been friends since their early twenties and recently co-authored "The Cycle Book," a guide and tracking tool built to teach people about their hormones before they're in crisis. They join Em and Cass to talk about why most of us only learn about our cycles when something is already wrong, and what changes when you actually understand what your body is doing. From there, they get into the trap of cycle-syncing programs (the seed cycling, the diets, the "stay in bed during your luteal phase" advice), why ovulation deserves way more attention than it gets, the cervical fluid biomarker nobody was taught about in middle school, and why the natural-versus-unnatural binary is a red flag every time. They explain why they're fans of tracking your cycle even on hormonal birth control, what they actually think of Oura Rings, and the stat about period tracking apps that should be on every billboard (they're 21% accurate at predicting ovulation, and your data is being bought and sold). You can find "The Cycle Book" wherever books are sold, and Laura and Morgan at itslauraandmorgan.com and on Instagram at @itslauraandmorgan. Learn more about 1:1 coaching HERE!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Get Honeydew Me Merch HERE!⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

271. Just Between Us: Bathing Suit Anxiety, Cass' Nose Job & Historical Women That Men Hated

A listener wrote in about her upcoming girls' weekend. The rental has a hot tub, everyone's going to be in bikinis, and she's nervous about how she looks in a bathing suit. Em and Cass share their own experiences navigating this exact scenario, plus a few tips for managing the anxiety without limiting your damn life. From there, Cass walks us all through her recent nose job: why she wanted it, the cost breakdown, post-anesthesia antics and the healing process. Emma shares the story of Elise Ottesen-Jensen, a Swedish journalist and anarchist who started teaching women about their bodies in the early 1900s and went on to co-found the International Planned Parenthood Federation.  They close with a "normalize-this" segment on what summer bodies actually look like, plus listener hot takes (i.e. FREE THE BUSH). Learn more about 1:1 coaching HERE!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Get Honeydew Me Merch HERE!⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

270. We Asked Our Resident Gyno Everything You're Afraid To ft. Dr. Maria Sophocles

You asked, our favorite gynecologist answered. We brought Dr. Maria Sophocles, a board-certified OB-GYN of 30 years, back on Honeydew Me to tackle the questions our community has been too nervous to ask their own doctors (which we COMPLETELY understand).  Before we got into your questions, she explained exactly why so many of us feel behind: most of us learned about sex from porn, a sibling, or a condom on a banana, and the U.S. still largely refuses to teach it well. (The Dutch, it turns out, are doing it right, and their teens are WAY better off for it.) So no, it's not your fault you don't know this stuff, and you have nothing to be embarrassed about. Now let's get into iiiiit! We cover: When a doctor shames you for asking a question: why a dismissive provider is usually acting from their own discomfort, not your ignorance, and how to advocate for yourself anyway. Can your gynecologist tell if you've had sex recently? The honest answer is yes, but only in one specific case. Dr. Maria explains what actually gives it away and why there's no reason for shame either way. What to expect at your first gyno appointment: why a first visit may not involve an exam at all, what the full exam actually includes, and how to make it a two-step process if you're nervous. Do pap smears have to hurt? Dr. Maria validates that the pain is real and pushes back on the "tough it out" culture, with specific things you can ask for: a smaller speculum, numbing, and meds beforehand. Scared of the gyno or putting it off? Facing the real barriers honestly, including bias in women's healthcare, and why skipping care still only hurts you. What an "abnormal" pap really means: why it's usually not what you fear, what the levels actually signify, and how the HPV connection factors in. The fishy-smell question, answered: what BV actually is, the surprising polyester link, and how to treat it (including whether boric acid really works). This conversation is educational and not a substitute for your own provider's advice. Connect with Dr. Sophocles on Instagram @mariasophoclesmd, on her website here, or by ordering a copy of The Bedroom Gap! ⁠ Learn more about 1:1 coaching HERE!⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Get Honeydew Me Merch HERE!⁠⁠ Thanks to Bellesa for sponsoring the show! Our friends at Bellesa are sending out free toys or gift cards for toys to EVERYONE who signs up! Click the link to get yours!  https://www.bboutique.co/vibe/honeydewme-pod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices