The Psychology of your 20s

438. The secrets of therapy FROM a therapist ft. Dr Sandra Espinoza

We all know that therapy is amazing, in fact it’s life-changing for many people. But what does therapy actually do? And what makes a good therapist? In today’s episode we’re joined by Dr Sandra Espinoza, Associate Professor of the Couple and Family Therapy Program at Alliant University. Our discussion includes: Her journey into helping others Why the best therapists, go to therapy What to look for in your therapist Why we can’t just rely on our friends Our greatest misconceptions around therapy Why stigma and affordability continue to be the biggest barriers How Alliant University is leading the next generation of helpers and therapists to support their communities If you’ve ever considered therapy, been curious about therapy or want to be a therapist yourself, this is your ultimate guide. Follow Dr Espinoza: HERE Find out more about Alliant University: HERE Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast Subscribe on Substack: @thepsychologyofyour20s For business: psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

437. The psychology behind feeling 'too much'

At some point in most of our lives, most of us have felt that we are ‘too much’. We might feel that we are too loud, have too many opinions, are too extroverted, too needy, or generally take up too much emotional ‘space’. In this episode, we explore what this feels like when it bleeds into our personal and professional lives, the impact of suppressing emotions upon our immune system, and look at some methods to unlearn and reconfigure our relationship with the ‘too much’ label. We unpack: • Why society likes to shame people who are confident and outspoken• The psychology of ‘Tall Poppy Syndrome’, and why women are particularly vulnerable • How being shamed and shut down as children makes us feel ‘too much’ later in life• The link between suppressing our emotions and our immune system• How we can unlearn the belief that we are ‘too much’ Watch on Netflix: HERE Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast Subscribe on Substack: @thepsychologyofyour20s For business: psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com Our favourite sources: https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/why_are_confident_people_so_polarizing https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4212945/ https://www.instagram.com/p/DXo5rB3jtOe/?img_index=20&igsh=emNnMDNlZzFoeDZm The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

436. The psychology of sibling rivalry

In many ways, sibling rivalry is an integral part of growing up in a multiple-child household – the arguments, the jealousy, the competition. But as we explore in this episode, those sibling dynamics often don’t stop in childhood, but actually following us into our 20s and adulthood, shaping how we see ourselves, relate to our families, and how we carry old roles. We explore:• Why a level of rivalry is developmentally expected• The evolutionary perspective on resource competition• The role of birth order and family roles• How sibling rivalry can transpire in adulthood• How to begin acknowledging and rewriting old roles Watch on Netflix: HERE Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast Subscribe on Substack: @thepsychologyofyour20s For business: psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com Our favourite sources: https://prevention.psu.edu/news/the-psychology-behind-sibling-rivalry/ https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10567-011-0104-5 https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0192513X211064876 https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10826-016-0429-2 The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

435. The pain of outgrowing your old life

There comes a point in all of our lives where we realise we've outgrown who we used to be. Sometimes it happens all at once, due to a breakup, a move, a loss, or a major life change. Other times (most of the time), it's much quieter. As painful as that can feel, it's also one of the clearest signs that you're evolving. In this episode, we explore the psychology of outgrowing your old life, why change can feel so much like grief, and how to let go of the past without fearing the future. We explore: The psychology of liminality and the space between who you were and who you're becoming The seven stages of outgrowing your old life Why we cling to the past through nostalgia, the endowment effect and status quo bias When you know a chapter is over How to embrace change and build a future you're excited to grow into Happy listening! Watch on Netflix: HERE Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast Subscribe on Substack: @thepsychologyofyour20s For business: psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

434. "I lost my brother at 16 to suicide, it shouldn't have happened" ft. Ben West

TW: Discussions of suicide. This week, I'm joined by mental health campaigner Ben West for one of the most moving conversations we've ever had on the show. At 18, Ben lost his brother to suicide. He has taken that experience and decided to change the lives of thousands, if not millions with his 'Reasons to Stay' campaign. In this episode we discuss: Why grief changes over time How to find purpose after unimaginable heartbreak The psychology of hope and why strangers can save lives What supporting someone through suicidal thoughts actually looks like Ben's incredible initiative, Reasons to Stay, and the millions of people it's already reached His two personal rules for protecting his own mental health Why healing isn't about 'moving on' but learning to carry what you've lost Watch on Netflix: HERE Preorder Ben's book: HERE Follow Ben: HERE If you need help, it is available. You are NEVER alone. Please find some further resources HERE. Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast Subscribe on Substack: @thepsychologyofyour20s For business: psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.