The Shallow End

221: Scratch-Off Rip-Off

A good alibi can keep you out of prison—unless it leads police directly to 84 packets of heroin. This week on The Shallow End, Jethro tells the story of a West Virginia bank robbery suspect who proved he was innocent by confessing to an entirely different crime. Then, Lindsay heads to Florida, where a man allegedly steals $7,000 worth of scratch-off lottery tickets and repeatedly returns to the scene of the crime to cash them. When that brilliant plan fails, his evening somehow gets even worse. Plus, a listener shares a painful lesson involving a fence-post driver, an emergency-room visit, and four staples to the head. Two true stories of criminal miscalculation, spectacularly bad decisions, and people who should have stopped several choices ago. Lifeguards Lindsay and Jethro are on duty, but the warning remains the same: stay out of the deep end. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

220: She Couldn't Wait 20 Minutes for a Beer

Some criminals spend months planning the perfect crime... then ruin everything with one unbelievably dumb mistake. This week on The Shallow End, Jethro and Schnebly dive into true stories of criminals who practically handed detectives the evidence. From Googling crime scenes and leaving phones behind to wearing GPS ankle monitors during burglaries, these are the real-life cases where the suspects solved the investigation for police. Then, a listener shares one of our favorite Shallow End stories ever: a first-time tandem skydive that goes spectacularly sideways after knocking the instructor unconscious thousands of feet above the ground. And finally, meet the Florida woman whose refusal to wait twenty minutes for a beer during an Uber ride allegedly escalated into one of the most ridiculous assault cases you'll ever hear. It's another trip into the shallow end of the human gene pool, where bad decisions, terrible timing, and astonishingly poor judgment are always on full display. In this episode: Criminals who accidentally created the evidence that convicted them How phones, Google searches, GPS trackers, and even smart refrigerators help solve crimes A tandem skydiving jump that almost became a disaster The bizarre Uber beer stabbing that could have been avoided by a little patience Plus, the usual stories, laughs, and questionable life choices you've come to expect from The Shallow End. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

219: He Tried to Rob the Wrong Grandma

What happens when criminals and thrill-seekers make spectacularly bad decisions? In this classic episode of The Shallow End, an 82-year-old grandmother in Rochester, New York, proves that appearances can be dangerously misleading when a late-night home invader discovers she's an award-winning champion powerlifter. Armed with whatever she can get her hands on, Willie Murphy delivers a lesson he'll never forget. Then, we head to Italy, where a tourist ignores warning signs, climbs a restricted trail on Mount Vesuvius, drops his phone into the crater... and decides it's worth risking his life to get it back. The result is a rescue operation, an arrest, and another reminder that social media isn't always worth the photo. Along the way, JG and Lindsay talk about Pompeii, the terrifying power of Vesuvius, selfie-related accidents, earthquake myths, and why making good decisions is harder than it should be. In this episode: Willie Murphy's incredible home invasion story The champion bodybuilder grandmother who fought back A Mount Vesuvius selfie gone horribly wrong The destruction of Pompeii and the volcano's ongoing danger Selfie accidents and the risks people take for social media Earthquake stories, myths, and near-disasters If you enjoy unbelievable true stories, strange news, dark humor, and people making astonishingly poor life choices, dive into The Shallow End. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

218: Naked Driver & Armadillo Revenge

This week on The Shallow End, one innocent armadillo proves that sometimes nature really does fight back. After a Texas homeowner decides the best way to deal with a wandering armadillo is with a .38 revolver, the laws of physics intervene in spectacular fashion, leaving him with a shattered jaw, a helicopter ride, and one of the strangest wildlife stories ever reported. Then it's off to Mississippi, where police stop a car creeping through town at an unusually slow speed—only to discover the driver is completely naked. What begins as an awkward traffic stop quickly spirals into an investigation involving marijuana, illegally modified firearms, multiple law enforcement agencies, and the timeless reminder that if you're going to break the law, breaking several at once is rarely the best strategy. Along the way, the boys swap stories about emergency room visits, stubborn pets, locked cars, and the kinds of everyday mishaps that somehow become family legends. It's another collection of bizarre true stories, spectacularly bad decisions, and the kind of real-life absurdity that proves you could never make this stuff up. In this episode: The Texas armadillo shooting that ricocheted into internet legend Why one bullet changed a homeowner's life forever A naked driver, marijuana, and illegal firearm modifications in Mississippi Listener stories involving dogs, locked vehicles, and accidental chaos True news, dark humor, and the wonderfully ridiculous side of everyday life If you love strange headlines, unbelievable true stories, odd news, and comedy podcasts that find the humor hiding in real life, dive into The Shallow End. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

217: Organized Culinary Warfare

A simple photo of dinner turned into a financial nightmare after one woman accidentally shared a restaurant QR code online—and internet trolls responded. It's one of the strangest examples yet of how everyday technology can go spectacularly wrong. Then, a heartbreaking crime takes an unexpected turn. After a thief steals the cash from two young siblings' lemonade stand, their community rallies in an extraordinary display of generosity, transforming a $40 loss into an example of proving that kindness can sometimes overwhelm cruelty. Along the way, JG and Jethro discuss bizarre online scams, food photography gone wrong, Chinese restaurant traditions, the surprising origin of "Husband and Wife Lung Slices," and why humanity still manages to restore your faith in people when you least expect it. If you enjoy weird news, unbelievable true stories, bizarre internet fails, hilarious conversations, and uplifting real-life moments, you'll love this episode of The Shallow End. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices