The Shallow End

199: The Tablecloth Car Thief

On this episode of The Shallow End, the guys dive headfirst into two stories that prove reality is often stranger—and far funnier—than fiction. First, a bizarre crime spree in Gwinnett County, Georgia where a man allegedly attempted a series of car thefts while wearing nothing but a tablecloth and fuzzy blue slippers, turning a routine police chase into one of the strangest wardrobe choices in criminal history. Then the conversation shifts to a surprisingly controversial business experiment in New Jersey, where Girl Scout cookies were briefly sold outside a cannabis dispensary, creating the perfect collision between entrepreneurial scouts and customers experiencing the legendary munchies. Add listener mail about unfortunate names and the hosts’ signature humor, and you’ve got a hilarious mix of weird news, bizarre crimes, strange stories, and odd moments from everyday life that only The Shallow End could deliver. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

198: Super Extreme DUI and the Serial Airline Stowaway

In this episode of The Shallow End with Schnebly and Toth, two unbelievable real-life stories prove that sometimes the most ridiculous headlines are absolutely true. First, we head to Skull Valley, Arizona, where a sheriff’s deputy responds to a strange crash and discovers a driver who insists he’s “totally perfect”… despite crashing into a guardrail and somehow getting his finger stuck inside a can of White Claw hard seltzer. The situation only gets worse when authorities determine the driver is well beyond the legal alcohol limit—earning himself one of Arizona’s rare “super extreme DUI” charges. It’s a bizarre collision of questionable decisions, desert highways, and the world’s least helpful beverage container. Then the story shifts from roadside chaos to the friendly skies with the surreal case of Svetlana Dali, a woman who has repeatedly managed to board international flights without a ticket, boarding pass, or passport. Yes—she simply blended into boarding groups and walked onto planes headed across the Atlantic. Not once… but multiple times. How does someone bypass airport security, TSA checkpoints, and airline gate agents to become a transatlantic stowaway? The answer may reveal something deeply strange about how security—and human behavior—actually works. Along the way, Schnebly and Toth wander into their usual philosophical territory, including why airports make perfectly innocent travelers feel like criminals, how confidence can get you almost anywhere, and why every trip through TSA feels like a scene from a dystopian thriller. From White Claw–related highway chaos to international airline stowaways, this episode explores the strange places where human behavior meets unbelievable circumstance. Welcome to The Shallow End, where true stories prove that reality is often stranger—and far funnier—than fiction. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

197: Burned Biscuits and Attempted Murder

In this episode of The Shallow End, Jethro and Lindsay dive headfirst into two true crime stories that feel less like reality and more like a stress dream fueled by bad decisions and poor time management. First up: a record-setting criminal spree that unfolded during a single nine-hour Greyhound bus layover in Nashville. One man somehow managed to cram 11 felonies into less time than most people spend binge-watching a season of television—including arson, armed robbery, carjacking, Walmart shopping on stolen credit cards, a hotel robbery carried out in a disguise, and a final attempt to evade police by hiding inside industrial equipment. It’s a bizarre, fast-moving case that raises an important question: how much trouble can one person get into before missing their bus? Then, the show turns to a workplace dispute that escalated far beyond anything HR could possibly handle. At a Popeyes restaurant in North Carolina, an argument between managers over burned biscuits ended in gunfire. What began as a kitchen disagreement spilled outside, resulting in a shooting, attempted murder charges, and a reminder that sometimes the smallest conflicts carry the most catastrophic consequences. Along the way, Jethro and Lindsay riff on free will, crime efficiency, poor impulse control, and why absolutely no one should be committing felonies by the hour. As always, the stories are real, the reactions are unfiltered, and the humor is just dark enough to make you question whether you should be laughing—right before you do. If you enjoy true crime stories where everything spirals wildly out of control, criminal logic collapses under its own weight, and bad decisions stack up at alarming speed, this episode of The Shallow End delivers. No felonies. No burned biscuits. Make good choices. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

196: A Lemon Shark And A Pickleball Paddle

In this episode of The Shallow End, Florida once again proves it’s not just a place—it’s a mindset. First: a birthday fishing trip off the coast of Florida takes a sharp turn when a six-foot lemon shark becomes an unwilling Instagram prop. What starts as a triumphant catch turns into a 911 call, a tourniquet, and a helicopter ride—because nothing says “memories” like underestimating a living torpedo with teeth. Then: a peaceful Sunday morning pickleball match inside a gated country club spirals into what police reports describe as a full-blown melee. A rules dispute over “the kitchen,” a paddle repurposed as a weapon, multiple injuries, felony charges, and the sobering realization that pickleball rage is, somehow, very real. Along the way, the guys unpack performative confidence, the curse of documentation, the strange logic of bad ideas that begin with “watch this,” and why the universe seems to take personal offense the moment a smartphone enters the equation. There’s also a listener email that derails the show into an unexpectedly deep debate about logic, grammar, and whether the phrase “pour yourself a strong one and buckle up” accidentally implies a felony. It’s a classic Shallow End episode: wild true stories, dry humor, sharp observations, and a gentle reminder that nature, sports, and sharks do not care if it’s your birthday. Make good choices. Your life—and possibly your pickleball reputation—may depend on it. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

195: Man Tries to Burn Escalade, Sets His Pants on Fire Instead

In this episode of The Shallow End, the universe appears to clock in early and enforce consequences with zero paperwork. Schnebly and Toth break down a surreal Milwaukee incident in which a man attempting to set a Cadillac Escalade on fire instead ignites his own pants—an act of instant karma caught entirely on surveillance video. What begins as felony-grade arson collapses into slapstick physics as flaming trousers, panicked decision-making, and a perfectly timed police cruiser converge in what may be the most efficient arrest on record. From there, the episode widens into a greatest-hits reel of bad ideas and questionable judgment. A listener email recounts a sober college sledding adventure that ends with injuries, hospital visits, and the realization that alcohol isn’t always required to make terrible choices. The hosts share their own youthful snow-related miscalculations, proving once again that age and common sense rarely arrive together. The episode also dives into a Texas burglary attempt that goes sideways when a man breaks into a car dealership, injures himself on the glass, calls 911 for help, and—while waiting for first responders—helps himself to candy from a sales desk. Because of course he does. Equal parts dumb criminal behavior, misfired confidence, and real-world absurdity, this episode is a reminder that when plans collapse, they often do so loudly, publicly, and on camera. Make good choices. Don’t play with fire. And for the love of God, don’t try to outrun your own pants. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices