Therapy Works

Cressida Bonas on Grief That Doesn’t Go in a Straight Line

In this episode of Therapy Works, I sit down with Cressida Bonas for a conversation that feels unusually intimate and quietly brave. We talk about the loss of her older sister Pandora and how saying the word “died” still lands with a kind of shock and finality. Cressida shares what she didn’t expect about grief, the fear that lives in her body, the numb days that feel lonelier than tears, and the strange push pull of wanting to hold on while also wanting the suffering to end. We explore what it was like watching Pandora die in hospital, how her family tried to “be strong” and hide their tears until Pandora asked them not to, and why that shift towards honesty became a lesson in love and connection for all of them.We also talk about the way Cressida processes through creativity, writing a letter to Pandora in those final days and then finding herself unable to stop writing afterwards, not as memoir but through characters that could hold what felt unbearable. She reflects on motherhood, self doubt, and finding more confidence since having children, alongside the frustration of being put in a box by other people’s assumptions. We end with what Pandora’s death has clarified for her, the preciousness of ordinary moments, the desire to waste less time, and the meaning behind her podcast Lessons From Our Mothers, which grew out of recording her own mother’s story and the wish to understand the women who made us. Listen to Cressida’s Podcast, Lessons From Our Mothers: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/lessons-from-our-mothers/id1803569581 If Only If create beautifully made nightwear that feels thoughtful, timeless, and deeply comforting at the end of the day. Their pieces are designed to support women through every stage of life and are made from natural fabrics in small batches. If you’d like to explore their collection, you can visit ifonlyif.co.uk and use the code JULIA15 for 15% off.  More from Therapy Works: Subscribe to the Therapy Works Substack for guidance on everyday struggles and access to Julia’s monthly live webinar: ⁠⁠⁠https://juliasamuel.substack.com/⁠⁠⁠ Follow Julia on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠@juliasamuelmbe⁠⁠⁠ for tips, tools, and conversations about navigating life’s challenges. If you enjoy this episode, please consider rating, reviewing, and subscribing — it makes a big difference and helps others discover these conversations.If you need help finding a therapist, visit: ⁠⁠⁠The Samuel Therapy Practice⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Agony Aunties: When Parenting Doesn’t Match the Picture in Your Head

In this Agony Aunties episode, Emily and Sophie take the reins while Julia continues her recovery, diving into a thoughtful listener question about accepting children with SEN and learning difficulties as academic parents. Together they explore the often unspoken grief that can arise when parenting looks different from what we imagined, the importance of making space for complex emotions without guilt, and the delicate balance between acceptance and adjustment. The conversation gently unpacks parental expectations, fear of judgment, and how compassion for both yourself and your child can shift the experience, while highlighting the value of support networks, school partnerships, and recognising that a meaningful, fulfilling life is not defined by academic success alone. • Email your questions: jsamuelpod@gmail.com • DM Julia on Instagram: @juliasamuelmbe If Only If create beautifully made nightwear that feels thoughtful, timeless, and deeply comforting at the end of the day. Their pieces are designed to support women through every stage of life and are made from natural fabrics in small batches. If you’d like to explore their collection, you can visit ifonlyif.co.uk and use the code JULIA15 for 15% off.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Charlotte Bellamy on Grieving a Baby She Never Got to Know

In this week’s episode of Therapy Works, I’m joined by Charlotte Bellamy, who speaks with extraordinary openness about the death of her son Finn, who was stillborn at 28 weeks. Charlotte takes us through the shock of reduced movements, the devastating moment she was told “there’s no heartbeat”, and the surreal reality that even in loss, you still have to give birth. We talk about the grief of missing the baby you’d imagined, alongside the trauma of what happens medically and physically, and Charlotte shares how her sister, a midwife, supported her and her husband Milo through those first unbearable days and helped them create precious memories with Finn. We also explore how Charlotte and Milo grieved differently, why therapy and understanding the body’s response to grief helped, and how fear can shape everything that comes after. Charlotte describes the marathon of pregnancy after loss and the practical ways she protected herself, from having someone with her at scans to telling staff upfront what she needed. At the end, Sophie and Emily join me to reflect on the importance of support, naming, and speaking about the baby who has died, because using Finn’s name and remembering him isn’t “bringing it up”, it’s honouring a life that mattered.If Only If create beautifully made nightwear that feels thoughtful, timeless, and deeply comforting at the end of the day. Their pieces are designed to support women through every stage of life and are made from natural fabrics in small batches. If you’d like to explore their collection, you can visit ifonlyif.co.uk and use the code JULIA15 for 15% off.  More from Therapy Works: Subscribe to the Therapy Works Substack for guidance on everyday struggles and access to Julia’s monthly live webinar: ⁠⁠https://juliasamuel.substack.com/⁠⁠ Follow Julia on Instagram: ⁠⁠@juliasamuelmbe⁠⁠ for tips, tools, and conversations about navigating life’s challenges. If you enjoy this episode, please consider rating, reviewing, and subscribing — it makes a big difference and helps others discover these conversations.If you need help finding a therapist, visit: ⁠⁠The Samuel Therapy Practice⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Agony Aunties: Feeling Second Best to a Partner’s Late Wife

In this Agony Aunties episode, Sophie and Emily return to answer a deeply thoughtful listener question about feeling second best to a partner’s late spouse. Together, they reflect on communication within relationships, the role of the inner critic, and how comparison often reveals the stories we tell ourselves rather than the truth of how we are seen. The conversation offers gentle reframes, practical ways to step out of self-punishing thought loops, and reassurance that entering a family touched by grief isn’t about replacement but about bringing your own, distinct presence into the system. • Email your questions: jsamuelpod@gmail.com • DM Julia on Instagram: @juliasamuelmbe If Only If create beautifully made nightwear that feels thoughtful, timeless, and deeply comforting at the end of the day. Their pieces are designed to support women through every stage of life and are made from natural fabrics in small batches. If you’d like to explore their collection, you can visit ifonlyif.co.uk and use the code JULIA15 for 15% off.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Dr Alex George: “I Looked in the Mirror and Didn’t Recognise Myself”

On the first episode of Season 10 of Therapy Works, host Julia Samuel is joined by Dr Alex George for an unusually candid conversation about what happens when your inner world starts to feel like friction you can’t push through. Alex shares that he’s currently being assessed for autism, and reflects on how recent ADHD and OCD diagnoses have helped him make sense of longstanding patterns, from rumination and sensitivity to masking and burnout. Together they explore the difference between “being different” and struggling, how grief and trauma can intensify symptoms, and why understanding yourself is often the first step towards acceptance and peace. Julia and Alex also talk about the cost of becoming the “fixer” in a family after the sudden death of Alex’s brother, and the cumulative impact of public scrutiny and frontline NHS work during the pandemic. In the reflective discussion afterwards, Julia is joined by Sophie and Emily to unpack the debate around diagnosis, why it triggers such strong reactions, and how the most useful question is whether something is genuinely interfering with your life. It’s a moving, hopeful start to the season about naming what hurts, finding the right support, and building a kinder world by starting with compassion for yourself. If Only If create beautifully made nightwear that feels thoughtful, timeless, and deeply comforting at the end of the day. Their pieces are designed to support women through every stage of life and are made from natural fabrics in small batches. If you’d like to explore their collection, you can visit ifonlyif.co.uk and use the code JULIA15 for 15% off.  Find Alex:Website: https://www.dralexgeorge.co.uk/Instagram: @dralexgeorgeBuy His New Book "Am I Normal?": https://amzn.eu/d/aoEqbLDListen to Stompcast: https://www.dralexgeorge.co.uk/podcast More from Therapy Works: Subscribe to the Therapy Works Substack for guidance on everyday struggles and access to Julia’s monthly live webinar: ⁠https://juliasamuel.substack.com/⁠ Follow Julia on Instagram: ⁠@juliasamuelmbe⁠ for tips, tools, and conversations about navigating life’s challenges. If you enjoy this episode, please consider rating, reviewing, and subscribing — it makes a big difference and helps others discover these conversations.If you need help finding a therapist, visit: ⁠The Samuel Therapy Practice⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices