Mindfully With 'Tunmise

Beyond the Silence of Shame

Send us a textWhat if the most powerful force holding you back isn't external criticism but the silent voice within that whispers "I'm not enough"? In this vulnerable and illuminating conversation, we unpack the complex emotion of shame—that intensely painful feeling of believing we're fundamentally flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging.Drawing inspiration from Brené Brown's groundbreaking work, we explore the crucial distinction between guilt ("I did something bad") and shame ("I am bad"), revealing how this subtle shift profoundly impacts our identity and relationships. Through personal stories, we examine how childhood experiences with authority figures, cultural expectations, and religious contexts create shame templates that follow us into adulthood. You'll hear raw accounts of how seemingly small interactions—like being repeatedly corrected by someone other than a parent, or seeing "intelligent but talks too much" on a report card—can create lasting patterns of self-doubt and silence.The conversation takes a fascinating turn as we discuss how shame manifests in our self-perception around abilities, particularly in areas like business acumen, where perceived deficiencies easily transform from "I'm not good at this specific skill" to "I'm fundamentally inadequate." We uncover how shame thrives in secrecy and silence, and why finding safe relationships where we can share vulnerably becomes essential for healing.Whether you've consciously struggled with shame or are just beginning to recognize its influence in your life, you'll leave with practical wisdom for moving forward: affirming that shame is human but not where we want to live, naming it rather than being defined by it, and approaching ourselves with the same compassion we'd offer a friend. Connect with us on social media to share your reflections on the journal prompts: What part of your story deserves compassion today? And who can you share your story with, knowing they would respond with empathy rather than judgment? Support the showFollow me Facebook : https://www.facebook.com/tunmise.kukuInstagram : https://www.instagram.com/tunmiseokuku/ https://www.instagram.com/bhmcoaching/LinkedIn : https://www.linkedin.com/in/tunmise-oladapo-kuku-8a2626b/Get Living Mindfully: A Journey to Being https://blackhemages.com/living-mindfully/Website: https://blackhemages.com/b45eeaafa11188b421daa26f6eb85da5596dbf11Love Yourself; Love Your Neighbour; Love Your Country: Above all of these Love God He's the essence of Your Being.#tdk

Adversity Is A Teacher

Send us a textAdversity doesn't detour our journey—it defines it. This reflective episode explores how life's toughest moments can become our greatest teachers, using Paulo Coelho's "The Alchemist" as a guiding metaphor for personal transformation.Like Santiago the shepherd boy who discovers his treasure wasn't gold but clarity, we too find our most profound growth not on the mountaintops of success but in the valleys of challenge. The treasure isn't reaching the destination—it's who we become along the way.Today's mental health conversations sometimes inadvertently promote avoiding discomfort rather than developing resilience. The phrase "I need to protect my mental health" has become almost facetious, potentially deepening stigma around legitimate struggles. True mental fortitude comes from understanding life's inherent duality—night and day, joy and pain. As Brené Brown wisely notes, "You cannot numb the dark without numbing the light," while Susan Cain reminds us that "if we could honor pain and not try to erase it, we could transform it."When facing difficulty, try shifting from asking "why me?" to "what has this come to teach me?" This subtle reframing transforms our relationship with adversity. While sharing my personal experience navigating bipolar disorder, I've learned that mindfully pacing yourself through challenges isn't weakness—it's wisdom. Tough times don't just reveal who you are; they refine who you are becoming.What valley are you currently navigating? What lessons might it be offering? Remember that finding your rhythm in difficult seasons is where true growth happens. Join this thoughtful exploration of resilience, complete with journal prompts to help you transform your own challenges into teachers. Support the showFollow me Facebook : https://www.facebook.com/tunmise.kukuInstagram : https://www.instagram.com/tunmiseokuku/ https://www.instagram.com/bhmcoaching/LinkedIn : https://www.linkedin.com/in/tunmise-oladapo-kuku-8a2626b/Get Living Mindfully: A Journey to Being https://blackhemages.com/living-mindfully/Website: https://blackhemages.com/b45eeaafa11188b421daa26f6eb85da5596dbf11Love Yourself; Love Your Neighbour; Love Your Country: Above all of these Love God He's the essence of Your Being.#tdk

Fear: Signal or Saboteur? : A Mindful Journey

Send us a textFear—that flutter in your chest, that whisper of doubt, that paralysis when facing uncertainty. We all know it, but do we truly understand it? This episode takes you on a journey through the many faces of fear, revealing how this misunderstood emotion operates in our lives. Beyond simply identifying what scares us, we explore why we feel afraid and what those fears reveal about our deepest values. You'll discover that fear isn't always the enemy—sometimes, it's a signal that you deeply care about something.Through personal reflections and thought-provoking insights, we examine how fear manifests in different spheres of our lives. From the anxiety we feel in vulnerable relationships to our complex relationship with mortality, this exploration offers a fresh perspective on embracing fear as a teacher. Maya Angelou's powerful words about being "afraid all the time but not afraid of anything" provide a compelling framework for approaching fear with mindful awareness.The episode introduces the practical SBNRR technique—Stop, Breathe, Notice, Reflect, Respond—a mindfulness approach that transforms how you engage with fear when it arises. Instead of being controlled by fear, you'll learn to walk alongside it with intention and awareness. Complemented by journaling prompts to deepen your personal exploration, this episode invites you to reframe your relationship with fear and discover the freedom that comes with mindful engagement.Ready to transform your relationship with fear? Listen now, and remember: courage isn't the absence of fear—it's the willingness to walk alongside it mindfully. Share this episode with someone who might benefit from a gentler approach to their fears, and join our mindful community on social media @mindfullywithtunmise Support the showFollow me Facebook : https://www.facebook.com/tunmise.kukuInstagram : https://www.instagram.com/tunmiseokuku/ https://www.instagram.com/bhmcoaching/LinkedIn : https://www.linkedin.com/in/tunmise-oladapo-kuku-8a2626b/Get Living Mindfully: A Journey to Being https://blackhemages.com/living-mindfully/Website: https://blackhemages.com/b45eeaafa11188b421daa26f6eb85da5596dbf11Love Yourself; Love Your Neighbour; Love Your Country: Above all of these Love God He's the essence of Your Being.#tdk

The Quiet Art of Grieving

Send us a textGrief reaches far beyond death, weaving through our lives in ways we rarely recognise or honour. What do you think about the dream job that never materialised? The friendship that dissolved? The promotion you deserved but didn't receive? These everyday disappointments create quiet ripples of grief we're not taught to process.Many of us excel at navigating joy but falter when facing sorrow. Our cultural narratives often discourage preparing for pain, viewing such preparation as inviting suffering. We're conditioned to "move on quickly" or "stay positive," denying ourselves the healing that comes from acknowledging our pain.Drawing from Yoruba wisdom that embraces life's dualities—"tibi tiri la daye" (we were created with both good and bad)—this episode invites you to sit with grief as a teacher rather than an enemy. Like the bitter leaf that eventually yields sweetness, discomfort can lead to growth when mindfully embraced. Too much grief without processing leads to depression, while avoiding grief altogether creates unresolved pain that silently shapes our relationships and responses.Through personal stories of professional disappointment and cultural perspectives on embracing life's polarities, this contemplative journey offers three journaling prompts to help you identify and honour those "small losses" you haven't permitted yourself to grieve. What might your grief say if you allowed it to speak? What version of yourself are you holding onto out of fear?Take a breath, find a quiet corner, and allow your grief to guide you—just for today. Your healing journey begins with acknowledging what hurts, even when society tells you it shouldn't.Suggested episode: https://pod.fo/e/2b1ac7 (a princess's journey through loss and legacy)https://pod.fo/e/1f89b0 (Grieving is living ) Support the showFollow me Facebook : https://www.facebook.com/tunmise.kukuInstagram : https://www.instagram.com/tunmiseokuku/ https://www.instagram.com/bhmcoaching/LinkedIn : https://www.linkedin.com/in/tunmise-oladapo-kuku-8a2626b/Get Living Mindfully: A Journey to Being https://blackhemages.com/living-mindfully/Website: https://blackhemages.com/b45eeaafa11188b421daa26f6eb85da5596dbf11Love Yourself; Love Your Neighbour; Love Your Country: Above all of these Love God He's the essence of Your Being.#tdk

Sacred Pauses: Evolving in the Waiting

Send us a textWhat if the stillness you're experiencing isn't stagnation, but sacred waiting? What if evolution—personal, spiritual, emotional—requires periods of apparent inactivity before breakthrough?Through ancient Nigerian folklore and the metaphor of a butterfly's metamorphosis, this reflective episode explores how we navigate the mystery of our own becoming. Drawing parallels between the impatient monkey who emerged from hibernation too early and our modern tendency to rush transformation, we uncover why patience is not merely a virtue but a necessity for deep change.Most of us have complex relationships with change. We crave evolution but fear the in-between spaces—those uncomfortable periods of uncertainty where the old has been left behind but the new hasn't yet emerged. These transitions create flutters in our stomachs and palpitations in our chests as we wonder: Will I fail? Will people think me foolish for leaving the familiar? Yet it's precisely these uncomfortable spaces where true growth happens.The rat race—both emotional and economic—has us living life in fast-forward mode, constantly searching for purpose and meaning while forgetting to be present in the moment. Victor Frankl's logotherapy suggests humans are motivated by the search for life's purpose, even amid suffering. But what if we could pursue meaning without allowing the search to consume us? What if we could honor both the becoming and the being?Stop, breathe, notice, reflect, respond, resolve. Join me in exploring how mindfulness can transform our relationship with change, helping us recognize that nature never hurries but is always on time. Share this episode with someone who needs permission to embrace their own sacred waiting period.Suggested Episode:https://pod.fo/e/2f31b6 Support the showFollow me Facebook : https://www.facebook.com/tunmise.kukuInstagram : https://www.instagram.com/tunmiseokuku/ https://www.instagram.com/bhmcoaching/LinkedIn : https://www.linkedin.com/in/tunmise-oladapo-kuku-8a2626b/Get Living Mindfully: A Journey to Being https://blackhemages.com/living-mindfully/Website: https://blackhemages.com/b45eeaafa11188b421daa26f6eb85da5596dbf11Love Yourself; Love Your Neighbour; Love Your Country: Above all of these Love God He's the essence of Your Being.#tdk