Mindfully With 'Tunmise

Walk Beside Me, Not Inside Me.

Send a textWhat if our well-meaning care has been crossing a line we rarely name? We pull apart the quiet ways empathy can turn into supervision and how “emotional colonization” shows up in families, faith communities, and friendships. Instead of offering easy answers, we sit with better questions and a more humane posture that honors agency, consent, and pace.We start by tracing the cultural current the host calls societal narcissism—how proximity tricks us into thinking we have jurisdiction over someone else’s inner world. From there, we redefine empathy beyond the slogan of “walking in someone’s shoes,” adding the humility to be guided by the person wearing them. You’ll hear how surveillance masquerades as concern, why watched people perform rather than heal, and how boundaries can serve love rather than distance. Drawing on Brené Brown’s strong back, soft front, grounded heart, we show what collapses when empathy becomes control: overhelping, rigidity, and anxiety-driven fixing.We also bring in Adam Grant’s framework of preacher, prosecutor, and politician to reveal the roles we slip into when our beliefs feel threatened. The antidote is a scientific posture—curiosity over certainty—that slows us down and replaces verdicts with listening. Along the way, we offer reflective prompts to help you notice where you might be supervising rather than accompanying, and how to restore presence without possession. If you’ve ever felt “helped” but not held, or noticed your own impulse to manage someone’s healing, this conversation will give you language and practices to recalibrate with care.Join us, take a breath, and let these questions work on you at their own pace. If the conversation resonates, share it with someone who values real empathy, subscribe for more mindful episodes, and leave a review to help others find the show. Your presence matters—stay mindful, stay human, and keep becoming. Support the showFollow me Facebook : https://www.facebook.com/tunmise.kukuInstagram : https://www.instagram.com/tunmiseokuku/ https://www.instagram.com/bhmcoaching/LinkedIn : https://www.linkedin.com/in/tunmise-oladapo-kuku-8a2626b/Get Living Mindfully: A Journey to Being https://blackhemages.com/living-mindfully/ https://chat.whatsapp.com/BFAJsSrOui17Po8tvmMoPe Website: https://blackhemages.com/b45eeaafa11188b421daa26f6eb85da5596dbf11Love Yourself; Love Your Neighbour; Love Your Country: Above all of these Love God He's the essence of Your Being.#tdk

Your Mindfulness Doesn’t Need An Audience.

Send a textWhat if the body’s silence is the most honest feedback you’ll hear all week? We sit with the rising noise of advice, certainty, and wellness performance and ask why so much “help” leaves us more tired, more watched, and less connected to ourselves. Drawing on the myth of Narcissus as a cultural mirror, we reframe the caution: the real danger isn’t self-awareness, it’s self-absorption without reciprocity—especially when healing becomes a stage and empathy becomes supervision.Across this conversation, we name societal narcissism as a collective posture that quietly centers the self in spaces built for care. We trace how hustle culture meets toxic positivity, how algorithms reward spectacle, and how even mindfulness can turn performative when progress demands proof. From forced stillness to small practices of noticing, we share why the body’s interruption isn’t drama but devotion, and how language without wisdom can still wound. You’ll hear reflective prompts on consent, authority, and the difference between responding and reacting, plus a simple pause you can try right now to return to presence.We’re not asking you to speak less; we’re inviting you to listen better—first to your own body, then to others with cleaner attention. If you’ve felt pressured to display your growth or measure your worth by how publicly you heal, this is a gentle reset. Tune in, take one slow breath, and consider a quieter courage: no correction, no achievement, just arrival. If this resonates, share it with a friend, subscribe for the next chapter in the series, and leave a review with your favorite question you’re taking forward. Support the showFollow me Facebook : https://www.facebook.com/tunmise.kukuInstagram : https://www.instagram.com/tunmiseokuku/ https://www.instagram.com/bhmcoaching/LinkedIn : https://www.linkedin.com/in/tunmise-oladapo-kuku-8a2626b/Get Living Mindfully: A Journey to Being https://blackhemages.com/living-mindfully/ https://chat.whatsapp.com/BFAJsSrOui17Po8tvmMoPe Website: https://blackhemages.com/b45eeaafa11188b421daa26f6eb85da5596dbf11Love Yourself; Love Your Neighbour; Love Your Country: Above all of these Love God He's the essence of Your Being.#tdk

What If Meaning Lives In How We Respond

Send us a textThe season opens with a breath you can feel. After months of enforced stillness—pain, surgery, and a body that said “enough”—we step back to examine what mindful living actually asks of us when the lights are off and the milestones stop counting. I share how grief cracked my certainties, how recovery humbled my pace, and why I’m rethinking the language we use around healing so it guides rather than governs.We unpack the subtle shift from healing to performing: when vulnerability becomes strategy, stillness turns into content, and mindfulness reads like a brand. I call this drift societal narcissism—not a diagnosis, but a posture where visibility outruns integrity. Drawing on Viktor Frankl’s insight that meaning shows up in our response when we cannot change our situation, I talk through the difference between reacting and recognizing, and how response becomes a practice that lives in the body, not just the brain. The conversation moves from doing to being, from milestones to presence, from proof to patience.You’ll hear the questions animating where we go next: What happens to healing in a world that demands evidence? When does empathy become supervision? How can language remain a compass and not a courtroom? Along the way, we ground in a simple breath sequence to return to the body, and I offer a quiet prompt to carry through your week. If your season feels like a hallway with no signage, this is a gentle place to pause, listen, and choose your next response with care.If this resonates, subscribe, share with someone who needs a slower pace, and leave a review so others can find the space. Your healing does not need an audience—but your story might help someone breathe. Support the showFollow me Facebook : https://www.facebook.com/tunmise.kukuInstagram : https://www.instagram.com/tunmiseokuku/ https://www.instagram.com/bhmcoaching/LinkedIn : https://www.linkedin.com/in/tunmise-oladapo-kuku-8a2626b/Get Living Mindfully: A Journey to Being https://blackhemages.com/living-mindfully/ https://chat.whatsapp.com/BFAJsSrOui17Po8tvmMoPe Website: https://blackhemages.com/b45eeaafa11188b421daa26f6eb85da5596dbf11Love Yourself; Love Your Neighbour; Love Your Country: Above all of these Love God He's the essence of Your Being.#tdk

Beyond the Silence of Shame

Send us a textWhat if the most powerful force holding you back isn't external criticism but the silent voice within that whispers "I'm not enough"? In this vulnerable and illuminating conversation, we unpack the complex emotion of shame—that intensely painful feeling of believing we're fundamentally flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging.Drawing inspiration from Brené Brown's groundbreaking work, we explore the crucial distinction between guilt ("I did something bad") and shame ("I am bad"), revealing how this subtle shift profoundly impacts our identity and relationships. Through personal stories, we examine how childhood experiences with authority figures, cultural expectations, and religious contexts create shame templates that follow us into adulthood. You'll hear raw accounts of how seemingly small interactions—like being repeatedly corrected by someone other than a parent, or seeing "intelligent but talks too much" on a report card—can create lasting patterns of self-doubt and silence.The conversation takes a fascinating turn as we discuss how shame manifests in our self-perception around abilities, particularly in areas like business acumen, where perceived deficiencies easily transform from "I'm not good at this specific skill" to "I'm fundamentally inadequate." We uncover how shame thrives in secrecy and silence, and why finding safe relationships where we can share vulnerably becomes essential for healing.Whether you've consciously struggled with shame or are just beginning to recognize its influence in your life, you'll leave with practical wisdom for moving forward: affirming that shame is human but not where we want to live, naming it rather than being defined by it, and approaching ourselves with the same compassion we'd offer a friend. Connect with us on social media to share your reflections on the journal prompts: What part of your story deserves compassion today? And who can you share your story with, knowing they would respond with empathy rather than judgment? Support the showFollow me Facebook : https://www.facebook.com/tunmise.kukuInstagram : https://www.instagram.com/tunmiseokuku/ https://www.instagram.com/bhmcoaching/LinkedIn : https://www.linkedin.com/in/tunmise-oladapo-kuku-8a2626b/Get Living Mindfully: A Journey to Being https://blackhemages.com/living-mindfully/ https://chat.whatsapp.com/BFAJsSrOui17Po8tvmMoPe Website: https://blackhemages.com/b45eeaafa11188b421daa26f6eb85da5596dbf11Love Yourself; Love Your Neighbour; Love Your Country: Above all of these Love God He's the essence of Your Being.#tdk

Adversity Is A Teacher

Send us a textAdversity doesn't detour our journey—it defines it. This reflective episode explores how life's toughest moments can become our greatest teachers, using Paulo Coelho's "The Alchemist" as a guiding metaphor for personal transformation.Like Santiago the shepherd boy who discovers his treasure wasn't gold but clarity, we too find our most profound growth not on the mountaintops of success but in the valleys of challenge. The treasure isn't reaching the destination—it's who we become along the way.Today's mental health conversations sometimes inadvertently promote avoiding discomfort rather than developing resilience. The phrase "I need to protect my mental health" has become almost facetious, potentially deepening stigma around legitimate struggles. True mental fortitude comes from understanding life's inherent duality—night and day, joy and pain. As Brené Brown wisely notes, "You cannot numb the dark without numbing the light," while Susan Cain reminds us that "if we could honor pain and not try to erase it, we could transform it."When facing difficulty, try shifting from asking "why me?" to "what has this come to teach me?" This subtle reframing transforms our relationship with adversity. While sharing my personal experience navigating bipolar disorder, I've learned that mindfully pacing yourself through challenges isn't weakness—it's wisdom. Tough times don't just reveal who you are; they refine who you are becoming.What valley are you currently navigating? What lessons might it be offering? Remember that finding your rhythm in difficult seasons is where true growth happens. Join this thoughtful exploration of resilience, complete with journal prompts to help you transform your own challenges into teachers. Support the showFollow me Facebook : https://www.facebook.com/tunmise.kukuInstagram : https://www.instagram.com/tunmiseokuku/ https://www.instagram.com/bhmcoaching/LinkedIn : https://www.linkedin.com/in/tunmise-oladapo-kuku-8a2626b/Get Living Mindfully: A Journey to Being https://blackhemages.com/living-mindfully/ https://chat.whatsapp.com/BFAJsSrOui17Po8tvmMoPe Website: https://blackhemages.com/b45eeaafa11188b421daa26f6eb85da5596dbf11Love Yourself; Love Your Neighbour; Love Your Country: Above all of these Love God He's the essence of Your Being.#tdk