The Hardcore Therapist

The Hardcore Therapist 124.5- Choosing Your Marriage Without Abandoning Your Kids

Send a textWhat happens when growth feels like guilt?In this episode, I share something personal: the excitement of building a new life with my husband and the unexpected sadness and guilt of leaving my adult children in another state.We explore the difference between abandonment and expansion, what attachment theory actually says about distance, and why prioritizing your marriage in adulthood isn’t betrayal it’s healthy differentiation.If you’ve ever felt torn between loving your children and choosing your next chapter, this episode is for you.Secure attachment survives distance. And growth doesn’t mean you’re leaving anyone behind. 💛Support the show

The Hardcore Therapist 124- Thomas Vanderpol (What it Meant, Dying For It)

Send a textToday’s guest is Thomas Vanderpol. Thomas is a dad, HR professional, ethical vegan, and straight edge since forever. Originally from Redding, California and now based in Portland, Oregon, he brings a lifetime of lived experience inside hardcore and punk both on and off the stage. With a deep background in touring, songwriting, and label work, Thomas has co-managed a record label and continues to write for bands, labels, zines, blogs, and social media, crafting everything from interviews and reviews to bios and press releases. At the core of everything he does is a commitment to Youth Crew, straight edge, skatepunk, and the belief that hardcore should be diverse, inclusive, and accountable. Thomas isn’t just talking about change in the scene he’s actively helping shape it.Support the show

The Hardcore Therapist 123.5- Nice Isn’t Always Nice: When Being “Easygoing” Is Actually a Trauma Response

Send a text We’re taught that being “nice” is a virtue. But what if some of the behaviors we call niceness are actually survival strategies?In this episode of The Hardcore Therapist Podcast, I unpack the subtle ways trauma can disguise itself as politeness, agreeableness, and being “low maintenance.” We explore patterns many people mistake for kindness—over-explaining every no, apologizing when someone bumps into you, laughing off disrespect, saying “sure” when you mean no, and managing everyone else’s emotions before your own.This conversation breaks down the nervous-system logic behind people-pleasing and the fawn response, why these behaviors once kept you safe, and how they quietly erode self-trust and boundaries in adulthood. We also talk about what healing actually looks like not becoming colder or harsher, but becoming more honest and self-loyal.Book suggestions Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving — Pete Walker (popularizes the 4F framework including “fawn”)Set Boundaries, Find Peace — Nedra Glover Tawwab (clear boundary scripts + mindset shifts)The Disease to Please — Harriet Braiker (classic on people-pleasing patterns + recovery steps) Are You Mad at Me? — Meg Josephson (people-pleasing/anxiety lens; mentioned in recent coverage) Support the show

The Hardcore Therapist 123- Kevin Seconds

Send us a textToday on The Hardcore Therapist, I’m honored to welcome Kevin Seconds. Kevin is the frontman of the legendary hardcore punk band 7 Seconds, a group that helped define the sound, values, and heart of hardcore. For over four decades, his voice, lyrics, and presence have championed authenticity, community, and emotional honesty long before those conversations were mainstream. He is a prolific artist  and you can check out his art at https://rivingloomarts.bigcartel.com/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=pmax&utm_campaign=21775906273&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=Support the show

The Hardcore Therapist 122.5- Eating Is Comfort When You Were Emotionally Starved

Send us a textIn this episode of The Hardcore Therapist, I explore why overeating, bingeing, or restricting so often develop in people who grew up emotionally undernourished  even when their basic needs were met. Parents may have been physically present but emotionally unavailable, leaving food to become one of the earliest and most reliable forms of regulation.This is not an episode about diets, discipline, or fixing yourself. It’s about understanding how the nervous system adapts to emotional absence and why willpower alone can’t heal an attachment wound.I cover:Why food becomes a nervous system regulatorThe difference between “food addiction” and emotional neglectHow restriction and bingeing can come from the same unmet needsWhy shame, rules, and control don’t create lasting changeWhat real healing actually involves; including grief, safety, and self-compassionNo numbers. No meal plans. No moralizing.Just a clear, trauma-informed conversation about why your relationship with food makes sense  and what it’s been trying to protect you from.Trigger note: This episode discusses eating behaviors and emotional neglect. While no instructions or numbers are given, the topic may be activating for some listeners. Please pause or return when you feel resourced.Support the show