Three Percent

You're Not Bad at Emotions. You're Good at Hiding Them with Morgan Burch

What if the reason your conversations keep going sideways has nothing to do with what you're saying — and everything to do with what you're actually feeling underneath it? In this episode, Jamie and Blake welcome their friend Morgan Burch — relationship coach and creator of the SEEN Method — for a conversation recorded in person that feels less like an interview and more like a masterclass you didn't know you needed. Morgan breaks down the four-letter framework she developed out of her own marriage to help people move from barbed-wire communication to actual vulnerability. And what's wild is how simple it is — and how hard it is to do, because confusion and complication have always felt safer than being honest. This one is funny, personal, and quietly devastating in the best way. Jamie and Blake both get caught in real time. Dan (Morgan's husband) makes multiple appearances from the couch. And by the end, you'll have a completely different relationship with your anger, your disappointment, and the expectations you've been silently holding over everyone around you. KEY TAKEAWAYS What the SEEN Method is and why it works where other communication frameworks fall flat The difference between showing someone the barbed wire around a feeling and showing them the actual feeling Why negative emotions like anger and disappointment aren't walls — they're neon signs pointing to something you didn't know you needed Why confusion and complication can be a hiding place — and how to stop using them The mirror game: why the most healing thing you can do for someone is stop trying to fix them Why you can't fully receive from others what you haven't first given to yourself What it means that "avoidance is a privilege" — and what it costs you CHAPTERS (00:00) Cold open: I wasn't good at controlling my emotions — I was good at hiding them (02:00) Introducing Morgan Burch and the SEEN Method (06:00) How Morgan's marriage to Dan became the proving ground for everything she teaches (09:00) "I was showing him the barbed wire around the feeling, not the feeling" (13:00) S — Scared: what am I actually afraid this means? (13:00) E — Embarrassed: the vulnerable feeling underneath the protective one (21:00) E — Expectations: the hopes you didn't know you had (23:00) Why disappointment is a neon sign, not a character flaw (31:00) N — Need: what do I need, and can I give it to myself first? (40:00) The mirror game: reflect, don't fix (45:00) Morgan's story: using the SEEN Method with her own dad (57:00) "Nothing to prove, always more to learn, no great thing is done alone" LINKS & RESOURCES Three Percent Website: https://threepercentco.com/ Join The Basement (private community + reflection guides): https://threepercentco.com/membership Morgan Burch's Website + The Repair Lab: https://morganburch.com/ Morgan Burch on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/goodmorgan.therapy/ Eli Harwood (mentioned — "regulate before you educate"): https://www.eliharwood.com/ Dr. Becky Kennedy (mentioned — metabolizing emotions): https://www.drbeckyatgoodinside.com/ KEYWORDS Three Percent Podcast, Morgan Burch, SEEN Method, communication, relationships, vulnerability, emotional intelligence, repair lab, men's mental health, marriage, expectations, anger, conflict resolution, self-regulation, co-regulation, holistic masculinity, connection, personal growth Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What Did You Expect Healing to Look Like?

What if healing doesn't look anything like you expected? For many of us, healing starts with an unspoken goal: get rid of the anxiety, stop feeling angry, break the habit, or finally become the version of ourselves we think everyone else wants. But what if those expectations are actually keeping us stuck? In this honest and unscripted conversation, Blake and Jamie explore the hidden "rules" they've carried about healing. They reflect on how they once believed healing meant becoming free from anger, discomfort, or unwanted behaviors, only to discover that true healing is far more about curiosity, compassion, and learning to feel at home in their own bodies. This episode isn't about offering quick answers. It's an invitation to examine the expectations you've inherited, question the rules you've been living by, and begin imagining a different kind of healing. Key Takeaways - Healing isn't becoming someone else—it's becoming more fully yourself. - The behaviors we want to eliminate often begin as survival strategies that deserve curiosity before judgment. - Repressed anger doesn't disappear; it often turns inward in ways we don't recognize. - Many of our expectations about healing come from unspoken family or cultural "rules," not necessarily what's true. - Compassion creates more lasting transformation than shame ever could. - Healing is an evolving process, not a finish line. Chapters (00:00) What did you expect healing to look like? (05:18) The hidden rules we carry into healing (11:42) Why we thought healing meant "fixing" ourselves (18:55) Anger isn't the enemy (26:40) When survival strategies become self-harm (34:10) Why pornography, addiction, and numbing behaviors deserve compassion, not just condemnation (40:00) Feeling at home in your own body (45:15) The rules you inherited about healing (48:00) Letting go of expectations and preparing for Part Two Resources & Links Three Percent Co.: https://threepercentco.com/ Keywords healing, emotional healing, therapy, mental health, men's mental health, anger, shame, self-compassion, vulnerability, pornography recovery, addiction recovery, trauma, emotional health, nervous system, relationships, masculinity, Blake Roberts, Jamie Haigh, Three Percent Podcast, healing journey Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Three Percent X Captains Collective: When Grit Isn't Enough

What happens when two podcasts built around helping men flourish sit down together? In this special crossover episode, Jamie and Blake join Hunter Leavine, founder of The Captains Collective, for a conversation about masculinity, emotional health, vulnerability, and the healing power of community. Hunter shares his personal story of rebuilding after failure, the lessons he's learned from life on the water, and why nature often becomes the classroom where men finally begin telling the truth. Together they explore how outdoor adventure, emotional honesty, and meaningful brotherhood aren't competing paths—but complementary ones. Whether you're more comfortable on a fishing boat than in a therapist's office, or vice versa, this conversation builds a bridge between both worlds. Key Takeaways Healing begins where hiding ends. The things we keep locked away are often the very things keeping us disconnected from ourselves and others. Vulnerability creates permission. One honest conversation can transform an entire community. Nature has a way of restoring perspective. Time outdoors reminds us we're part of something much bigger than ourselves. The traits that once protected us don't have to define us forever. Growth isn't about becoming someone new—it's about healing what was wounded. Brotherhood is built through presence, not performance. Men don't need perfect answers—they need safe places to tell the truth. Resources & Links Learn more about Hunter Leavine & The Captains Collective:https://captainscollective.com/ Follow The Captains Collective:https://www.instagram.com/captainscollective/ Three Percent Podcast:https://threepercentco.com/ Join The Three Percent Community:https://threepercentco.com/membership Chapters (00:00) – Introducing the crossover episode (03:45) – Why the outdoor world and emotional health belong together (11:18) – Hunter's personal story of rebuilding after failure (20:04) – The hidden cost of emotional compartmentalization (31:22) – Why empathy disappears—and how it returns (46:40) – Mangroves, resilience, and learning to regrow (54:12) – Why vulnerability changes friendships forever (59:05) – What nature teaches us about perspective and humility (1:03:10) – Fly fishing, presence, and emotional healing (1:05:00) – Final encouragements and where to connect Keywords men's mental health, emotional health, vulnerability, masculinity, therapy, men's groups, brotherhood, friendship, healing, emotional resilience, shame, honesty, empathy, Hunter Leavine, The Captains Collective, outdoor adventure, fly fishing, nature, resilience, community, emotional intelligence, self-awareness, Christian mental health, personal growth, emotional healing, men's relationships Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Men’s Mental Health Month: The Cost of Going It Alone

June is Men’s Mental Health Awareness Month, and in this special episode, Blake and Jamie tackle a sobering reality: men are struggling, and many are doing it alone. From higher suicide rates and lower treatment utilization to fewer close friendships and cultural expectations around self-sufficiency, the statistics tell an alarming story. But this conversation goes deeper than the data. Blake and Jamie explore why so many men resist asking for help, why vulnerability often feels like failure, and how shame keeps men isolated from the very relationships that could help them heal. Along the way, they offer a compassionate reframe: what if your struggles aren't proof that you're failing? What if they're evidence that you've been surviving the best way you know how? This episode is an invitation to move beyond performance, embrace humility, and become safe enough with yourself that you can experience deeper connection with God, others, and your own story. Key Takeaways Many men see asking for help as an admission of failure rather than an act of courage. Awareness without self-compassion often becomes another reason to feel ashamed. Humility is the ability to compassionately see your limitations without interpreting them as deficiencies. Close friendships don't simply happen—they are built through intentional honesty and vulnerability. What looks like weakness may actually be a survival strategy that helped you make it this far. Men aren't failing as much as they are hurting—and that distinction changes everything. Episode Chapters (00:00) Why Men’s Mental Health Matters(06:15) The alarming statistics around men's mental health(15:00) Why men are less likely to seek help (18:00) The hidden barrier: lack of awareness (20:00) Self-sufficiency, isolation, and depression (23:00) Why therapy often feels like failure (27:00) A powerful definition of humility (31:00) The emotional "box of crayons" men never received (38:00) How the 3% helps men heal (40:00) Are men narcissistic—or ashamed? (47:00) Becoming the man you want to be (48:00) Men aren't failing. Men are hurting. Resources & Links Three Percent Co. Keir Gaines — Learned the Hard Way Podcast Geoff Holsclaw episode on attachment and the "landscapes of the soul" KJ Ramsey episode on tenderness, survival, and healing 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline Mental Health America National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) Keywords Men's Mental Health Awareness Month, men's mental health, masculinity, vulnerability, emotional health, shame, therapy, counseling, depression, male friendships, self-sufficiency, humility, emotional awareness, relationships, healing, mental wellness, Three Percent Podcast, men's emotional health, connection, authenticity Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Attachment Styles & Why You Relate to God the Way You Do with Geoff Holsclaw

Why do some people struggle to trust God, while others keep Him at a distance? Why do our relationships with people often mirror our relationship with God? This week, Blake and Jamie sit down with author, pastor, and professor Geoff Holsclaw to explore the powerful connection between attachment theory and spiritual formation. Drawing from his book Landscapes of the Soul, Geoff explains how our early relational experiences shape the ways we pursue intimacy, handle anxiety, and experience God's presence. Together, they discuss the four attachment "landscapes"—the Desert, Jungle, War Zone, and Pasture—and how God invites each of us into deeper security, connection, and delight. Whether you're familiar with attachment theory or hearing about it for the first time, this conversation offers practical wisdom for understanding yourself, your relationships, and your faith journey. Key Takeaways Attachment styles are adaptive strategies developed in response to our environments—not permanent identities. The way we relate to God is often influenced by the way we've learned to relate to people. Secure attachment doesn't eliminate anxiety but helps us navigate it with confidence and connection. Spiritual maturity involves receiving God's delight rather than constantly striving for His approval. Healing begins with curiosity and compassion toward ourselves rather than shame or self-condemnation. About Geoff Holsclaw Geoff Holsclaw is a pastor, professor, spiritual director, and author focused on helping people experience deeper connection with God, themselves, and others. Through his work at Embodied Faith, Geoff explores the intersection of attachment science, spiritual formation, and Christian discipleship, helping people move toward greater wholeness and secure relationships. Resources & Links Embodied Faith Geoff Holsclaw on Instagram Book: Landscapes of the Soul Book: Does God Really Like Me? The Attachment Project Chapters (00:00) – Introduction to Geoff Holsclaw (03:45) – What attachment theory is (and isn't) (10:22) – The four attachment landscapes (18:35) – The Desert: Avoidant attachment explained (28:40) – The Jungle: Anxious attachment explained (38:15) – The War Zone: Disorganized attachment explained (49:50) – The Pasture: Secure attachment and flourishing (58:30) – What attachment teaches us about God(1:07:10) – God's delight versus God's approval(1:15:42) – Practical steps toward healing and security(1:22:30) – Final encouragements and closing thoughts Keywords attachment theory, Geoff Holsclaw, Landscapes of the Soul, spiritual formation, Christian spirituality, emotional health, secure attachment, anxious attachment, avoidant attachment, disorganized attachment, faith and psychology, relationships, healing, God's delight, Christian growth, mental health, Three Percent Podcast, embodied faith, spiritual maturity, emotional healing Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices