Different, Not Broken

The Little Extra Hug (And Other Things My Brain Needs)

I didn’t plan to talk about George Carlin.Or mascara.Or why I apparently cannot send a calendar invite without causing structural damage.But here we are.Hi, I’m Lauren Howard. You can call me L2. Like other people do.In this episode of Different, Not Broken, I talk about why I can speak into a microphone for 100,000 strangers… and feel deeply uncomfortable when someone I actually know tells me they listened.I unpack the idea of the “little extra hug” you can only get from strangers. Why performing publicly can feel easier than being known privately. Why validation from the internet feels different than validation from your neighbour.We also take a very sharp turn into hyperfixation. Makeup hyperfixation, specifically. What it feels like when your brain latches onto something and turns it into a full-blown research project. How dopamine gets mined in drawers full of blush and setting spray. And why sometimes that joy is less frivolous than it looks.Then we talk about the contradiction that lives underneath all of it.Being wildly capable in a crisis.Building businesses in your head in seconds.And being absolutely useless at routine admin.This episode is about uneven capability. The shame that can creep in when you’re brilliant in one arena and chaotic in another. And the possibility that maybe nothing is wrong with you. Maybe you’re just built for different things.For Small Talk, I respond to a listener question about being great in emergencies but struggling with everyday adulting.Once you’ve been inspired to brag, here’s where you can do it!https://differentnotbrokenpodcast.com/voicemailUseful stuffStuff that helps you become awesome even if you’re different: https://stan.store/elletwoMy grown up job: https://lbeehealth.com/Chapters / Timestamps00:00 – Doomscrolling and documentary spirals01:29 – George Carlin and the “little extra hug”04:20 – Why strangers feel easier than real life07:23 – Makeup hyperfixation and dopamine mining13:30 – The Sephora return that proved my point17:29 – Listener question: crisis queen, admin disaster19:00 – Why I pay people to manage my calendar20:50 – Maybe you’re just built differentlyMentioned in this episode:Sponsor the showhttps://differentnotbrokenpodcast.com/sponsorsSponsor Different Not BrokenJoin Quirky

People still use these?

We had a hell of a week last week. But let me tell you this one story....

Sudoku Shame, Sandwich Logic and Ridiculous Brains

I didn’t plan to talk about sandwiches this much.Or water.Or Sudoku.But here we are.Hi, I’m Lauren Howard. You can call me L2. Like other people do.In this episode of Different, Not Broken, I talk about the strange, often ridiculous ways our brains create shame out of absolutely nothing. Eating the “wrong” food. Convincing yourself you hate water even though you love it. Feeling mortified because you’re slow at a logic puzzle no one else can see.I unpack why our brains invent rules that don’t exist, why invisible judgement feels so real, and why being seen trying can feel worse than actually failing.This episode is about shame that doesn’t make sense, fear of looking ridiculous, and the quiet pressure to only be visible once you’re already good at something.Later in the episode, for "Small Talk", I respond to a listener question about the fear of being seen trying, and why vulnerability feels so exposing even when no one is actually paying attention.You’ll hear:Why your brain makes up rules it then punishes you forHow harmless things turn into sources of shameWhy being slow doesn’t mean being brokenWhy feeling ridiculous is often a sign you’re doing something newHow to stop letting imagined judgement run your lifeOnce you’ve been inspired to brag, here’s where you can do it!https://differentnotbrokenpodcast.com/voicemailUseful stuffStuff that helps you become awesome even if you’re different: https://stan.store/elletwoMy grown up job: https://lbeehealth.com/Chapters / Timestamps00:00 – Sudoku shame and the nonsense our brains create01:12 – Sandwich logic and internalised rules03:32 – Why I pretend I hate water06:08 – Invisible judgement and made-up leaderboards09:14 – Listener question: fear of being seen trying12:32 – Getting comfortable feeling ridiculous15:40 – Why most people are not paying attention18:05 – What I actually want you to hear before you goMentioned in this episode:Build Your Better courseBuild your better course - https://stan.store/elletwo/p/build-your-betterWanna sponsor this podcasthttp://differentnotbrokenpodcast.com/sponsorsSponsor Different Not BrokenJoin Quirky

I Hate The New England Patriots. But Al Michaels?...

Happy Superbowl... to everyone but the New England Patriots because f**K them guys.

ICE Raids, Queer Faith and Why Injustice Feels So Personal

I didn’t want to have this rant.I’m tired of needing to have this rant.Hi, I’m Lauren Howard. You can call me L2. Like other people do.In this episode of Different, Not Broken, I talk about ICE raids, fear, and what it feels like when people are genuinely afraid to exist in their own communities.I tell a personal story about someone I rely on every day being too scared to drive six minutes across her own neighbourhood — despite being a citizen — because ICE was crawling the area. And I unpack why “just comply” is a lie that doesn’t protect people when power isn’t being exercised responsibly.This episode is about fear that makes sense, exhaustion that isn’t a personal failure, and why mental health can’t be separated from the political reality we’re living inside.Later in the episode, I’m joined by Myah Knight for a deeper conversation about queer faith, religious trauma, and the kind of community people need when institutions become unsafe.You’ll hear:Why fear is a rational response to what’s happening right nowWhy “just comply” doesn’t actually keep people safeHow power shifts the goalposts until you’re always in the wrongWhat allostatic load is and why you’re exhausted even when you’re not doing muchHow queer faith and community can exist alongside religious traumaWhy needing support doesn’t mean you’re brokenOnce you’ve been inspired to brag, here’s where you can do it!https://differentnotbrokenpodcast.com/voicemailUseful stuffStuff that helps you become awesome even if you’re different: https://stan.store/elletwoMy grown up job: https://lbeehealth.com/Chapters / Timestamps00:00 – Why I’m talking about ICE and fear01:06 – Being too scared to drive six minutes03:20 – Why “just comply” doesn’t protect you06:37 – What federal overreach actually looks like10:00 – Fear, abuse dynamics, and moving goalposts15:45 – Why you’re exhausted even when you’re doing nothing19:50 – Why I wanted Myah in this conversation20:30 – Queer faith, religious trauma, and healing37:25 – Small Talk listener question: dissociation or burnout?40:15 – What I want you to hear before you goMentioned in this episode:Wanna sponsor this podcasthttp://differentnotbrokenpodcast.com/sponsorsSponsor Different Not BrokenBrag on yourselfWanna brag on yourself for something you've done which you're proud of? https://differentnotbrokenpodcast.com/voicemailBuild Your Better courseBuild your better course - https://stan.store/elletwo/p/build-your-betterJoin Quirky