Different, Not Broken

What my body remembered that my brain tried to forget

In this episode which is sponsored by our wonderful partners at Inflow I'm sharing an update from a couple of weeks ago when my mom was sick and I called an ambulance. She was going to be fine. I knew she was going to be fine. I was calm. I was functional. I was on the phone with my business partner — who is also an ER doctor, which I have decided is a mandatory qualification for that role — while flagging down the paramedics from the front porch.And then I walked outside and completely fell apart.Not because I was scared for her. Because that was the same porch. The same hallway. The same room I'd stood in nine and a half years ago when I called an ambulance for my dad — and he did not come home.My brain knew it was 2026. My body had not received that information.This episode is about the part of grief nobody prepares you for — not the raw early days, but the decade-later ambush that catches you completely off guard on a random Tuesday night with zero warning and zero time to put the armor on. It's also about how two things can be absolutely true at once: you can be fully mid-trauma response and still be making sarcastic remarks at the paramedics. I did both. Simultaneously. I regret nothing.Alison brings a question from Andrew in Eugene, Oregon: "I'm starting to wonder how much of my personality is just coping strategies stacked on top of each other. Is there a real me underneath that, or is that the wrong question entirely?" Andrew, I've been thinking about this all week.And I sit down with Lauren Yerkes, founder of Post Swim, who built a swimwear brand from her own breast cancer diagnosis at 37 — because she wanted to feel like herself again in a bathing suit, and that thing did not exist yet. Lauren's take on coverage vs. hiding is one of the most nuanced things I've heard in a long time."My brain knew it was 2026. My nervous system had entirely different information. Grief is a Mack truck with no warning label and no timeline."Post Swim: postswim.com | @postswimofficialAgain, please do check out our episode sponsors Inflow at http://getinflow.io/notbrokenThey're helping us bring episodes like this one to your ears.Mentioned in this episode:GetInflowOur episode sponsor is Inflow. Please support this show and check them out at http://getinflow.io/notbrokenInflowInflow

Mute Your Wonderwall Because I'm Clicking Things!

In this episode which is sponsored by our wonderful partners at Inflow I'm going on the record about something extremely important: loud music makes food taste bad, and I will not be taking questions or feedback on this. I support your live music. I will not consume it while eating my French fries. These are two separate things.I also have a feelings-based relationship with computer keyboards that started in approximately 1994 in a Radio Shack, has never ended, and apparently runs in the family.We also get into a question from Kayla in Tallahassee that stopped me: when I finally slow down, everything I've been avoiding emotionally shows up at once.Rest feels dangerous. I have thoughts on this — including the uncomfortable truth that you cannot outrun trauma, it is always there, and you are not smarter than it.(Neither am I. Trust me.)Plus I read a listener review that is basically the entire reason this show exists.The sensory case against restaurant live musicKeyboard switches, lifelong fixations, and the difference between that and a hyperfixationWhen your kid inherits the trait you didn't mean to pass onListener Q: why does rest feel like an ambush?You can't outrun what you haven't processedAgain, please do check out our episode sponsors Inflow at http://getinflow.io/notbrokenThey're helping us bring episodes like this one to your ears.Mentioned in this episode:GetInflowOur episode sponsor is Inflow. Please support this show and check them out at http://getinflow.io/notbrokenInflowInflowJoin Quirky

Arguments with dudes on the internet: LinkedIn/Facebook edition

I've been doing the internet antagonizing. I apologize. Not to the people I'm doing it to — they deserve it — but to the universe in general.Last week I got into two arguments with dudes on the internet. It's like a thing I do. These are always cantankerous dude bros, and they always get what they deserve. The argument is almost always the same.I have one question. I ask it every time. It brings their very bullish "I know everything about running a workplace" energy down to a full Porky Pig real fast.I also bring receipts. Because of course I do.Plus: I got mad about the Turning Point USA halftime show in a business group on the internet, which is exactly where that conversation belongs if you ask me.And in Small Talk, I answer a question from Nate in Provo, Utah, who doesn't trust compliments but believes every piece of criticism — and I explain why imposter syndrome might actually be the most arrogant thing you can carry around.Boop.TIMESTAMPS00:37 — I got into two arguments with dudes on the internet last week01:04 — It's almost always the same argument about remote work and micromanagement02:16 — The call center manager who had a lot to say02:45 — The one question I have for them03:57 — I worked at a call center. The best one in the world. It was still awful.07:21 — If you can only run your business by underpaying people, your business is failing08:41 — Don't wrestle with pigs. They enjoy it. (I did it anyway.)09:18 — The Turning Point USA halftime show got me. I tried not to.12:34 — I'm going to find a different plumber13:55 — Small Talk: Nate from Provo, Utah on compliments vs. criticism14:41 — 10,000 compliments: "yeah maybe." Someone says your feet smell: "that HAS to be true."16:36 — Why imposter syndrome is actually a form of arroganceMentioned in this episode:Join QuirkySponsor the showhttps://differentnotbrokenpodcast.com/sponsorsSponsor Different Not Broken

The Little Extra Hug (And Other Things My Brain Needs)

I didn’t plan to talk about George Carlin.Or mascara.Or why I apparently cannot send a calendar invite without causing structural damage.But here we are.Hi, I’m Lauren Howard. You can call me L2. Like other people do.In this episode of Different, Not Broken, I talk about why I can speak into a microphone for 100,000 strangers… and feel deeply uncomfortable when someone I actually know tells me they listened.I unpack the idea of the “little extra hug” you can only get from strangers. Why performing publicly can feel easier than being known privately. Why validation from the internet feels different than validation from your neighbour.We also take a very sharp turn into hyperfixation. Makeup hyperfixation, specifically. What it feels like when your brain latches onto something and turns it into a full-blown research project. How dopamine gets mined in drawers full of blush and setting spray. And why sometimes that joy is less frivolous than it looks.Then we talk about the contradiction that lives underneath all of it.Being wildly capable in a crisis.Building businesses in your head in seconds.And being absolutely useless at routine admin.This episode is about uneven capability. The shame that can creep in when you’re brilliant in one arena and chaotic in another. And the possibility that maybe nothing is wrong with you. Maybe you’re just built for different things.For Small Talk, I respond to a listener question about being great in emergencies but struggling with everyday adulting.Once you’ve been inspired to brag, here’s where you can do it!https://differentnotbrokenpodcast.com/voicemailUseful stuffStuff that helps you become awesome even if you’re different: https://stan.store/elletwoMy grown up job: https://lbeehealth.com/Chapters / Timestamps00:00 – Doomscrolling and documentary spirals01:29 – George Carlin and the “little extra hug”04:20 – Why strangers feel easier than real life07:23 – Makeup hyperfixation and dopamine mining13:30 – The Sephora return that proved my point17:29 – Listener question: crisis queen, admin disaster19:00 – Why I pay people to manage my calendar20:50 – Maybe you’re just built differentlyMentioned in this episode:Sponsor the showhttps://differentnotbrokenpodcast.com/sponsorsSponsor Different Not BrokenJoin Quirky

People still use these?

We had a hell of a week last week. But let me tell you this one story....