Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic with Jon Seidl

He Wrote CeCe Winans' 'Come Jesus Come.' Stephen McWhirter Now Reveals His Past Struggles with Addiction and Forgiveness.

“Forgiveness isn’t condoning what happened. It’s choosing not to let it destroy you anymore. … I forgave my dad more times than I can count, and I’ll probably keep forgiving him forever.” Those are the beautiful words from Stephen McWhirter. You might not know McWhirter's name, but you do know his songs. Especially one of them. That’s because he’s the man behind the incredibly gripping worship anthem “Come Jesus Come,” recorded by CeCe Winans and eventually country superstar Cody Johnson. But that's just a small part of a much bigger story. That story? It starts at a young age when McWhirter's father, a successful preacher loved by everyone, would beat his mother. The man who would praise God in the morning would punch his mom in the evening. How do you make sense of that? The way so many of us do: we try to escape it. Numb it. Blur it out. That’s exactly what McWhirter did. Despite his Christian upbringing, he ran hard into a life of drugs and alcohol starting at a young age. He needed to do all he could to drown the hypocrisy. The confusion. The images. Until one night, he couldn’t run anymore and God met him in the most unlikely way. In this episode, McWhirter tells his unedited story from bitterness, to addiction, and ultimately to forgiveness. Along the way, he also tells the unlikely story behind Come Jesus Come—a song born out of longing for Christ’s return that later found a wider audience through Winans and Johnson—and explains how that longing reshaped the way he lives in the present. This is a conversation for anyone who has ever tried to run from God, and for anyone longing for things to be made right. Looking for a one-stop recovery resource? Learn more about the Tyndale Life Recovery Bible by visiting https://hubs.la/Q041HjWm0. We explore: — How spiritual hypocrisy can fuel addiction and rebellion— Growing up with abuse behind the scenes of public faith— Addiction as self-destruction, numbness, and unresolved rage— Encountering Jesus in the middle of active drug use— Why forgiveness is necessary even when reconciliation isn’t possible— The repeated, ongoing nature of true forgiveness— Repentance as an invitation to freedom, not punishment— Why hiding always leads to deeper bondage— Why recovery aimed only at sobriety will never be enough— What it means to become fully alive in Jesus Get Stephen's new book: Radically Restored: How Knowing Jesus Heals Our BrokennessStephen's Instagram: @stephenmcwhirterFollow me: @jonseidlOrder my new book, Confessions of a Christian AlcoholicGet the Tyndale Life Recovery Bible: https://hubs.la/Q041HjWm0Support the Show: https://www.jonseidl.com/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Addiction, Trauma, and Rewiring Your Brain: Dr. Lee Warren Explains the Art of Self-Brain Surgery

“You are not stuck because of what happened. You’re stuck because your brain keeps running the same play. And your brain is always ready to run a new one the moment you tell it to.” That's just one of the incredible insights from practicing neurosurgeon Dr. Lee Warren, who joins us today to talk about a practice he calls "self-brain surgery." In this conversation, Lee explains how modern neuroscience confirms what Scripture has been teaching for thousands of years: transformation happens through the renewing of the mind, and our brains are not fixed, broken machines doomed to repeat the past. Drawing from his experience as a neurosurgeon, Iraq War veteran, and grieving father, Lee walks through the science of neuroplasticity and why addiction is best understood as a hijacked reward system rather than a moral failure. We talk about how thoughts shape brain structure, why trauma isn’t what keeps us stuck—but our responses to it can—and how believers often unknowingly participate in their own demise by assuming change isn’t possible. This episode is not about quick fixes or denying the need for professional help. It’s about recovering agency, reclaiming responsibility, and understanding that God has designed the brain to change. If you’ve ever felt trapped by patterns you hate, weighed down by grief, or discouraged by how slow sanctification feels, this conversation offers both hope and a way forward. Listen if you want a deeper, grounded understanding of how faith and neuroscience work together in real transformation. We explore: — Why the brain is not creating your thoughts but responding to them— How neuroplasticity explains biblical commands to renew the mind— Addiction as a hijacked reward system rather than mere behavior— The difference between trauma and the responses we form to trauma— Why grief can become something we unconsciously worship— How “self-brain surgery” describes real, structural brain change— The role of metacognition in interrupting destructive thought patterns— Why Christians often feel stuck even while believing the right theology— The limits of medication and the necessity of professional care alongside cognitive change— What it means to refuse to participate in your own demise Get Lee's new book: The Life-Changing Art of Self-Brain SurgerySign up for Lee's emailsLee's Instagram: @drleewarrenFollow me: @jonseidlOrder my new book, Confessions of a Christian AlcoholicSupport the Show: https://www.jonseidl.com/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Addiction as Spiritual Warfare? Joel Muddamalle on Why Our Struggles Are Bigger Than We Think

“Addiction promises control, comfort, and rescue—but it actually strips all of those things away. It intoxicates you so you can no longer discern what’s really happening.” Is addiction merely a personal struggle—or is it part of a much larger spiritual battle? In this episode, Joel Muddamalle helps us rethink addiction through the lens of spiritual warfare, not in a sensational or fear-driven way, but in a deeply biblical and pastoral one. Rather than framing spiritual warfare as dramatic demonic encounters or something to obsess over, Joel explains how the real danger often lies in what quietly compromises our discernment, dulls our awareness, and slowly reshapes our loves. Joel is the author of a new book, The Unseen Battle: Spiritual Warfare, Three Rebellions, and Christ’s Victory Over Dark Powers. We explore how addiction functions as a form of spiritual intoxication—one that promises relief and control while subtly disorienting the heart, mind, and soul. Joel shows why Scripture consistently calls believers to be sober-minded, alert, and resistant, and how addiction undermines those very capacities. This conversation also reframes sanctification itself as a battleground, where the fight is not simply against bad habits, but against counterfeit comforts that keep us from true dependence on Jesus. If freedom has felt harder than you think it should, or willpower alone never seems to be enough, this episode offers a reason: the struggle is bigger than you think. But so is the God you serve. We Explore: — why addiction is not just about excess but about losing spiritual and emotional discernment— how Scripture frames spiritual warfare as something we resist, not something we seek out— the difference between awareness and acceptance when it comes to addictive patterns— why sanctification itself is a form of spiritual warfare— how counterfeit comfort keeps us from true dependence on Jesus— the danger of aiming for sobriety instead of aiming for Christ— how pride, secrecy, and isolation fuel addiction— why honesty and humility are essential for real healing— how modern systems quietly train us to self-medicate and self-save— what it actually looks like to fight sin with love instead of willpower Joel's new book: The Unseen Battle: Spiritual Warfare, Three Rebellions, and Christ’s Victory Over Dark PowersJoel's Substacks Humble Theology and Stranger TheologyJoel’s Instagram: @muddamalleInvite Joel to speakFollow me: @jonseidlOrder my new book, Confessions of a Christian AlcoholicSupport the Show: https://www.jonseidl.com/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

The 'Good Christian' Missionary Who Still Struggled with Alcohol: Ali Kennedy's Story of Obedience and Letting Go

“It wasn’t about how much I drank—it was about how much mental and heart space it occupied. I loved it more than I wanted to admit.” That realization for Ali Kennedy didn’t come during a dramatic rock bottom. Instead, it came after years of managing, moderating, and justifying a relationship with alcohol that looked fine on the outside but was slowly crowding out joy, clarity, and intimacy with God. In this episode, I sit down with Ali—a pastor’s wife, missionary, former Ivy League athlete, and writer—who shares her honest story of giving up alcohol not once, but twice. Ali’s journey challenges the idea that addiction has to look a certain way and invites us to ask deeper questions about disordered loves, shame, and the subtle ways we settle for breadcrumbs when God is offering a feast. Ali opens up about growing up around alcohol, finding early freedom after a radical encounter with Christ, and then slowly welcoming alcohol back into her life in socially acceptable, highly-regulated ways. Over time, what never crossed obvious lines began to quietly take up more space than she wanted to admit—especially during seasons of grief, motherhood, and ministry pressure. And I think a lot of us can relate to that. This conversation isn’t about labels. It’s about obedience, discernment, and the courage to listen when the Holy Spirit keeps tapping your shoulder. If you’ve ever felt foggy, restless, or spiritually distracted—even while doing “nothing wrong”—Ali’s story may give you permission to take that prompting seriously and ask what God might be inviting you to lay down. We explore: — Why addiction isn’t defined only by quantity or frequency— How shame keeps Christians silent and stuck— The difference between moderation and freedom— Alcohol as a “disordered love” rather than a visible vice— Grief, motherhood, and the quiet return of coping behaviors— Why obedience sometimes matters more than labels— The role of confession and community in lasting change— What it means to stop settling for breadcrumbs and pursue the feast Work with Ali: https://www.alikennedy.comAli's writing: Homes of GloryAli's Instagram: @alikennedyliveFollow me: @jonseidlOrder my new book, Confessions of a Christian AlcoholicSupport the Show: https://www.jonseidl.com/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

He Relapsed After 5 Years of Sobriety: Jeramy Houghton on Obedience, Pride, and Honest Surrender

“I got prideful. I was like, ‘I’m never going to drink again.’ And then all of a sudden… it looked really good.” This conversation with Jeramy Houghton is a reminder that recovery is rarely clean or linear. Jeramy shares how growing up in an unsafe home shaped his sense of stability long before alcohol ever entered the picture. When drinking did become part of his life, it wasn’t chaos at first—it was relief. Alcohol became a way to cope with pressure, stress, and the weight of adulthood, even as his faith was growing. Over time, that coping turned into dependence. Jeramy talks honestly about knowing God was calling him to stop and still choosing alcohol because it felt easier. What started as occasional drinking escalated into daily use, morning vodka, and a slow unraveling that included job loss, health warnings, and deep strain on his marriage. Eventually, everything came to a head when Jeramy admitted what he could no longer deny: he couldn’t stop on his own. What followed was a dramatic turning point. Jeramy describes a moment where his desire for alcohol disappeared entirely—something he’s careful not to present as a formula or a promise. For years, sobriety came without craving. But freedom didn’t mean the work was finished. Slowly, pride crept in. After five years sober, Jeramy found himself believing he was beyond the danger zone—until the old pull returned and drinking “looked really good again.” This time, the turning point wasn’t dramatic—it was honest. Jeramy shares how naming his desire out loud before acting on it changed everything, exposing unresolved family pain and leading to difficult but necessary boundaries. His story isn’t about perfection or permanence. It’s about humility, obedience, and the kind of freedom in Christ that keeps inviting deeper truth long after sobriety begins. We Explore: — Growing up in an emotionally unsafe home shaped by alcoholism— How alcohol slowly became a coping mechanism rather than a pleasure— Living as a Christian while choosing alcohol despite conviction— The escalation into daily drinking and morning vodka— Job loss, medical warnings, and the moment of surrender— Experiencing radical freedom from desire—and why that wasn’t the end— Why some recovery structures felt like a different form of bondage— How pride quietly reopened the door after years sober— The power of naming desire out loud before acting on it— Setting painful family boundaries for the sake of safety— What freedom in Christ looks like amid ongoing sanctification Follow me: @jonseidlOrder my new book, Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic.Support the Show: https://www.jonseidl.com/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.